Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween!!!

So, the countdown begins. In less than five hours I will be at a bar with my friends, spreading Halloween cheer to fellow Manhattanites. How will I do this you say? Take a look.

This year, instead of stuffing my face with candy, I'll be giving it away. And, I'm doing a little shameless plugging for the ol' blog while I'm at it. Why not, right? I almost had a nervous breakdown in the grocery store when  the clerk rang me up. Since when is candy so expensive? Umm yeah, I had to put a few things back, and it still costed more than I'd like to mention. 

Some of my more grown up friends are staying home to give out candy to cute little trick-or-treaters, dressed in Superman and Dora The Explorer costumes. My trick-or-treaters on the other hand, will most likely all be over the age of 25, sporting scantily clad Lady Gaga costumes. I have a feeling I'm going to see a whole lotta Gaga tonight.

Oh and check out my friend Peter's Halloween diddy here. It's pretty sweet—I've already got it stuck in my head! 

So what are your Halloween plans? And what costume do you predict will be the most popular this year? I think I'll see a few Kate Gosselins, too!

Friday, October 30, 2009

My Halloween Costume: Revealed!

Made ya look! You didn't really think I was going to show you yet, did you? C'mon. I might post a Twitter pic up around 8pm tomorrow if you're lucky, but we'll see about that. I will give away a little part of my costume though--these glasses. I've been wanting these for quite some time now, so when I walked by American Apparel and saw that all they were having a 50% off Halloween sale on all specs in the store, I just had to get them.

Any guesses on what I'm going to be? I kind of look like a mad scientist or something. I guess this is my I'm-so-excited-Halloween-is-tomorrow face. Actually, I don't know how excited I am really. Halloween is kinda like New Years--you get all psyched up for it, and more times than not, it lets you down. Oh well, I have a good feeling about Halloween this year though. I still need to finish putting my outfit together, but if all goes as planned, it should turn out pretty sweet.

Speaking of sweet, who gobbled up some treats at work today? I did, but I didn't go crazy. When I walked into work at 9am, there was already a smorgasbord of desserts out in the kitchen area--cookies with super-thick icing, cupcakes, a chocolate chip cookie sheet cake, doughnuts, candy and an assortment of pies--it was bananas! I avoided this "danger zone" until my stomach started grumbling at 2pm. I didn't bring my lunch and I was too busy to grab something, so I ate this cupcake. Eating something with absolutely no nutritional value sounds kinda pointless to me now, but boy did it taste good at the time. Plus, it came with a spider ring on top!

On my way home from work I stopped by Rite Aid to get some toilet paper and a bag of "Autumn Mix"--it's my favorite. I devoured a few too many handfuls, but in the spirit of Halloween, I think it's OK.

Tell me: What was your favorite Halloween candy when you were a kid. (Mine was Nerds and Kit-Kats). And are you ready for tomorrow?!?

Photo Shoot Friday: Halloween--Vintage Style

Happy (almost) Halloween, readers! So, if you ever questioned my dedication to you or this blog, just know this: I woke up earlllly to get my ass to Kinko's so I could scan these pics for Photo Shoot Friday. My boyfriend has a scanner at his place, but after trying for over an hour and a half to get the darn thing to work last night, I surrendered. Walking through the Lower East Side so early in the morning is a bit scary, so not only did I lose out on sleep and skip a workout to show you these pics, I risked my life. That's all, no thanks needed though. So I hope you like them--you're in for a treat!
Here we are, the Collis triplets, dressed as the Three Musketeers. "All for one, and one for all!" I think we were pretty pumped about these costumes the first year we wore them, but somehow I remember wearing them more than once. It wasn't so much fun after that. And I know, I know, Liza and Foster look like cute little twins, and I look like the adopted triplet. As I mentioned in this post, I was pretty quick on the puberty front, so that explains it. I was always the odd one out growing up. (And by that I mean, big and chubby). The only way my parents knew for sure that I was theirs is the fact that I popped out of my mom's womb with a unibrow.

Liza and I decided to be secretaries for our first Halloween in New York. Pretty cute, huh? Everyone at the party we went to asked us what we were and complimented our outfits. That's the good thing about Halloween--costumes are great conversation starters--especially if you're single. (I was at the time).

Here we have Snow White, Chuck Norris and Tinkerbell. I'm not even going to try to be modest --I made one badass Snow White. This is probably the only time I had a girlie costume for Halloween; I typically was something goofy or tomboy-ish. Chuck Norris was pretty on-point for Foster. He loved that shit. His best costume though was the year he was a mummy. He was so unravelled by the end of the night, everyone thought he was a bum! And Liza. Liza, Liza, Liza--bless her. She was always something waaay girlie or totally random. One year she dressed up as Springtime Barbie, and was pissed as hell that no one knew what she was. (I guess the floral dress and white floppy hat wasn't enough of a clue, Lize). Another year she was an old lady--it was hilarious! Oh, the good 'ol days.

Ok so this picture is from a dance recital, but I'm pretty sure one of us wore it for Halloween one year for a flapper costume. Look at the serious blush Liza is rockin' on her cute little cheeks. Say it with me now, Awww.

Ok, so I'm not particularly proud of this costume, but my boyfriend likes the pic, so I thought I'd share. Can you guess what I am? No, I'm not a skanked-out ho. Any other guesses? No? I'm a gold digger! I ordered the costume online, and it came with a construction hat, but I just couldn't bring myself to wear it. This was my second Halloween in NYC. Click here if you missed pics from the last two years!

So, what'd you think of my pics? Which one was your favorite? And what costumes did you wear back in the day?

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Confession: I'm a party snob sometimes, too

So remember in this post when I told you about the different party snobs I often run into when I'm out? They're B.O.B's (Better Offer Bitches), as Tiff likes to call them. Well, I've recently noticed that I, too, can be a party snob. (Hard to imagine, I know).

Just like B.O.B's, the bitchiness usually doesn't come from a mean place, but an insecure place. Sometimes I won't bother saying "hi" to someone for the simple fact that I'm not sure how they will react. Will they give me a quick half-hug and air kiss, and then slink away? Or will they be genuinely happy to see me? It's just a crap shoot really. You never know what mood people will be in when you see them out. So, sometimes as a defense mechanism, I snub people, too.

Sometimes I just cannot deal with social rejection, no matter how many vodka tonics I've had to drink that night. I usually walk into parties feeling a wee-bit insecure about what I'm wearing, so when someone totally ices me at a party, I feel even lower. It is not a fun feeling. Oh why can't I just be a stone cold bitch like Blair Waldorf?!

Has anyone else ever acted like a snob, just so they wouldn't have to deal with one? Please tell me I'm not the only one!

Another one bites the dust...

So last week I saw my friend Kirk at a party, and he didn't seem quite like his usual fun-loving self, so I asked if anything was wrong. "I got laid off today," he said. Ahhh! So I joked a while back about how awesome it would be if all my friends lost their jobs so we could hang out during the day together, but I wasn't serious. God, did you hear that? I was kidding. Kirk's got nothing to worry about though--as you can see, he's still totally fabulous, just like yours truly. ;)

It didn't take long though before we were laughing and acting silly—totally putting our worries on pause for just one night. I interviewed Kirk below on his thoughts about losing his job and how it all went down. (FYI, the party was noisy, so you might have to turn the volume up a little) .

Don't you just love how he started stripping when I asked him how we were going to make money? I'm not quite that desperate yet. But apparently I could have a promising future as a stripper if I ever decided to go down that "career" path. The other week without even realizing it, I was standing outside a strip club called Score's waiting for a friend to meet me at a party nearby. This totally cracked-out woman starts talking to me and telling me how cute I am and that I could do well in the biz. What, did she think she could recruit me? Umm, no thanks—I think I'll stick to babysitting!

Despite Kirk's joking, he took a more serious tone the other day when he told me he thought that everyone is being forced to be optimistic during these dire times, but not enough people are looking at things realistically. That people who say things like, "I lost my job, but it's OK because now I'm pursuing what I really want!" is 'formulaic optimism.' Honestly, that made me a little sad. Kirk, I totally see your point, but I'm going to have to disagree with you on this one.

If I wasn't really struggling financially, it would be annoying as hell to so many people to hear me talk about the sunny side of being laid off. But lord knows I am strugglin'. I just think things can only go up from here. Way up. And yes, I am finally pursuing and writing about things I am passionate about. (Not that I didn't love writing about Miley Cyrus's first bra-buying experience or Nick Jonas's firs kiss before). The freelance work I've gotten so far is just barely paying rent, but I've had more quality work come my way in the last six months than I have in probably the last three years. And no, this blog isn't paying the bills, but it makes me happy, damnit! Seriously, it's the main reason I jump, not drag myself, out of bed each morning.

Check out this article from about how people who have been laid off are actually better off. Interesting. Hope is not lost, Kirk!

So what do you think: Should we be looking our current economic situation more realistically or optimistically? Am I annoying anyone with my optimism?

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

When's the last time you've had to swallow that pill—called pride?

So I never told you guys about this, but about two months ago I applied for a part-time job at a spinning studio to work at the front desk. (It's actually the same studio I told you about in this post.) I was asked to come in and try a class and then get trained for the position. As I was being taught how to clock people in and fold the towels a certain way, I was thinking to myself, Am I seriously doing this right now? Am I really this desperate? Apparently, I was. It actually wasn't so bad. The people were cool and I got to take a free spinning class, but I knew it wasn't for me. Dealing with grumpy rich women who've had entirely too much Botox and haven't ingested anything other than non-fat lattes in over a week is not my idea of fun. I was only there one day, but if I had heard a bitch complain about how her "assigned bike isn't close enough to the front of the room" one more time I would have shot myself. In the foot. 

I wasn't technically offered the job, so when The Knot emailed me the next day about helping them with a research project, I jumped on the opportunity. Honestly, I never thought that at (almost) 29 years-old, I'd be cruising Craigslist for the same type of jobs I had when I was eighteen. 

Even though the consistent paychecks from my current gig are certainly helping, I'm nowhere close to being financially comfortable yet. So, when I was recently asked to babysit on a Saturday night until 3am, I said yes. (Is it terrible that I asked for cab money home in addition to my hourly rate?) Babysitting is fine, and the girls are sweet, but I do feel a little weird about it. I mean, it's just totally awkward when the parents come home wasted and hand me a wad of cash. 

So yeah, I guess you could say I've had to just suck it up and swallow my pride lately. Can anyone else out there relate to this?

The Vampire Phenomenon: Do you get it?

This morning I woke up and logged onto Twitter to find that yes, in fact, Bethenny Frankel and I are kindred spirits and are destined to be best friends. She tweeted this: 

Can every single film& tv show not be about vampires?stop the madness!something is cool until it isn't. r any of them good? R u over it too?

Ok so I SWEAR I had already planned a post this morning on this very topic. Even though I'm only one of her 81,155 followers on Twitter, and she has no earthly idea who I am—yet—I decided to respond: 

Over it! I saw Vamp Diaries once and it was like a bad soap opera. I'll see New Moon solely for Edward Cullen, but that's it! :)

So there you have it. I just can't get down with all this vampire shit. I gave Vampire Diaries a chance, but it was just too painful, so I've stopped trying. I did like Twilight—mainly because I'm a sucker for intense love stories and Edward Cullen is so so hot—but that's as far as I go. I'll see New Moon when it comes out in a few weeks and probably Eclipse too, but I won't start following every new vampire show on TV. It's just not something I can sink my teeth into. (Bad pun intended).

However, Federica does not share my sentiments. She loooves True Blood. So when Erik (Alexander Skarsgard) from the show came into her office to try on some Cavalli suits, she about died. Her boss even said to him, "Oh Federica is such a cute little fan. She has your picture on her desk!" Even though Fed was beyond embarrassed, she said he just laughed it off and was really cool and down-to-earth. She also said he was just as hot in person, which is always a good thing, because there is nothing worse than being let down by an idol/someone you want to make out with. I don't know, maybe I should give True Blood a fair shot. 

What about you guys: Are you down with this vampire phenomenon that's happening everywhere you turn? Who's your favorite Twilight actor? (I must admit, I am pretty psyched to see a shirtless Taylor Lautner in New Moon!) 

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

What's your cellulite situation?

Ok, so I've always prided myself on the fact that I don't have cellulite. Now of course you know it can't possibly be true that I don't have any, but honestly, I have very little. I've got a few slight ripples on the the inside of my thighs, and an ever so slight ripple is visible on my tummy, usually when I've gained a few pounds.

However, to my horror, I notice a few, um, dimples on my arms the other day that I had never noticed before. You know from this post how I feel about my arms, so the last thing I need on them is cellulite. Yikes. That is

Looking at this picture of Mischa Barton's cottage cheese ass makes me instantly feel a whole lot better. I'm pretty sure I can get rid of my new "dimples," or at least reduce them, but there is not a lot homegirl can do about this mess of a situation. This photo was taken a while ago—you know, before she got cokehead skinny again, but I'll bet you a million bucks those lumps are there to stay. Mischa supposedly hates to exercise, and well, it shows.
Girls: What's your cellulite sitch, and how do you deal? Guys: How harshly do you judge a girl when you see a few lumps and bumps? (Be nice!)

Celebrity Science Experiment

When I was a kid, I did an "experiment" for the Science Fair that had something to do with how long it took for different kinds of popcorn to pop. Not very scientific, eh? So let's do another experiment. It will be just as simple, but the results will be more interesting (I hope), and you won't have burnt popcorn smelling up your apartment. Cool?

The hypothesis: Your favorite celebrities will have your same hair color.

I have favorite celebrities for different reasons--some based on beauty and some on talent. While I do think Eva Mendes is talented, her beauty is what I'm really drawn to.

She looks like perfection whether she's all glammed up or just au natural. And hellllo, have you seen her Calvin Klein ads? To die for.

Ok, so I'm not suggesting that I look anything like Eva Mendes, but yes, we do both have brown hair. Here are more of my favorite celebs:

Reality stars: Kim and Khloe Kardashian
Victoria Secret Model: Miranda Kerr
Gossip Girl character: Blair
Pop star: Miley Cyrus (Ok, Taylor Swift is a close close second, if not a tie for first)
Female Artist: Beyonce
Comedians: Kathy Griffin and Ellen Degeneres
Enviable body: Shakira
Celeb spawn: Suri Cruise and Violet Affleck
90's Supermodel: Helena Christensen
Style: Rihanna
UK artist: Lily Allen
English actress: Kate Beckinsale
Sex and The City character: Miranda
Mother/daughter actresses: Susan Sarandon and Eva Amurri

And for whatever reason, I always find myself favoring the brunette actress in movies. It was Penelope Cruz in Vicky, Christina, Barcelona, Anne Hathaway in Bride Wars, Ginnifer Goodwin in He's Just Not That Into You and America Fererra in Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

Even though not everyone on my list is a brunette, the majority definitely is. I even have more redheads than blondes! Interesting. Maybe I'm subconsciously envious of blondes? Or maybe I just can't relate to them as much for some reason? I'm not sure.

My conclusion: True. Why do you think that is? What would your conclusion be?

Monday, October 26, 2009

Are you a frog or a tadpole?

TMI Warning: I got my period when I was eleven years old, and while Liza was wearing a training bra and praying each night that she'd wake up the next morning with something to fill it out, I was already rocking a B-cup. So, when it came to puberty, I was certainly not a late bloomer.

However, with pretty much every other stage in my life, things seemed to happen so slooowly. During freshman and sophomore year of high school, I went to dinner and a movie with a group of friends every Friday night, while most other girls in my class were out at parties, getting smashed and showing the upperclassmen just how slutty they could be. I didn't have a boyfriend until I was seventeen--who was also my first kiss--so you can only imagine how much longer it was until I experienced, um, other things. You get the point.

Basically, the first two years of college were much of the same. It took at least that long to make a tight group of friends (friends, not just girls I partied with), and for boys to notice me. I switched majors I don't know how many times, and when I graduated, I had absolutely no clue what the heck I was going to do with my life. While everyone else was landing jobs or going to grad school, I was waiting tables at the neighborhood restaurant back home in Kentucky.

And even when I made the leap to New York, it took me almost an entire year to get a job. (I'm pretty positive that at 24 years-old, I was the oldest intern alive. I was older than some of my bosses). Since I lost my job in the spring, and have been forced to totally reevaluate my life, I feel like I'm a tadpole once again. A damn old tadpole at that.

I was venting to my mom today about my situation, and she said, "Well, those who laugh last, usually laugh hardest." And I know she's right. I mean, being a late bloomer does have some positive points, too. I think the main reason that things have always happened a little later for me is because I've really taken the time and made the effort to figure out who I am and what will make me happy. All of my successes so far have come from hardwork, perserverence and a positive attitude--I haven't taken any short cuts. I haven't used people just to get a notch higher on the social latter, or pretended to be someone I wasn't just so I could score a cool, high-profile job. I've been true to myself 100 percent, which really, I don't think is something everyone can say.

With that being said, I'm ready for things to start happenin'! I want to be a frog, damnit!

How about you: Where are you at in the tadpole-frog cylce?

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Who usually picks up the check: You or your guy?

Before I lost my job, I tried to treat my boyfriend to things—even if it was just an $8 cab ride or movie tickets—as much as I could. Obviously, things have been a bit different lately. When he asked me to pick up milk at the store the other day, I almost made up an excuse as to why I couldn't do it because I didn't want to spend the money. But then I realized how ridiculous that was—I mean, it wasn't even three bucks.

So I was really excited on Friday when I had a chance to take him out to dinner. Joyann gave me a gift certificate to a restaurant in NoLita called Emporio as a thank you for taking care of Vivienne the other week. It wasn't quite as satisfying as actually picking up the check and paying with my own money, but it still felt good to be able to do something nice for him—it's been too long.

We started the meal with an endive salad with beets, peanuts and goat cheese. It was tasty, but not my favorite—there was something about the beets I didn't love. Pretty though!

Then we had Sopressata and Finocchiona on Italian bread—it was so good!

Strangely, I'm usually not one of those people who enjoys a glass of wine or two with dinner. I never think alcohol is worth the calories unless you're on a mission to get drunk (I know how bad that sounds), but after the long week I had, I needed it.

I was tempted by the pizza and pasta dishes, but decided to go with the striped bass to balance out the pieces of bread I had already stuffed in my mouth. It was really good, although I wish there had been some asparagus or another vegetable to go with it to round out the meal.

My boyfriend got the short ribs. I realize this isn't the most appetizing pic, but it was really yummy, which is what counts!

And it came with a side of polenta. This might have been the first time I've tried polenta— I liked it! My boyfriend thought it was a little bland, but I really enjoyed it. I tend to like things that aren't super-flavorful—I have no idea why?

We stopped by Ciao Bella down the street afterwards, and I was so excited to eat my cookies 'n' cream cone, I wolfed it down before I thought to snap a pic. It's a shame because it was just as pretty as it was tasty! Last time I was at Ciao Bella, I got the chocolate sorbet, and it wasn't nearly as good as the real stuff. (Sometimes I do prefer the lower-fat versions.) So, I didn't stress about how many calories it would set me back, and really enjoyed my treat. (So much so, I think I was making the same orgasm noises I wrote about in this post.)

So tell me girls, how often do you pick up the check? And guys, how does it make you feel when a lady offers to pay?

What's the craziest thing you've done while you were intoxicated?

I've certainly done a few crazy things in my day while I was under the influence, but I don't want a phone call tonight from my mom in tears, so I think I'll take those stories to my grave. (Don't worry mom, it's nothing too bad.) 

Friday, a girl at work told me about this story in the Minneapolis Star Tribune about a guy who drove his sofa chair to a bar. As she was telling the story, I envisioned a wasted 20 year-old frat boy with shaggy hair and a backwards baseball cap acting a fool on a Saturday night. Um, yeah, not so much. 
Meet Dennis LeRoy Anderson, the operator of the motorized sofa chair that he powered by a gasoline-fueled converted lawn mower. (Seriously Dennis?) I'm not even sure if I fully understand what that means, but apparently it's true. Reportedly, Dennis was about nine beers deep before he even went out to the bar. He was slapped with a DWI later that night when he crashed into another vehicle. Whoopsie daisy!

Dennis pimped his ride with lights, cup holders and a stereo. I gotta give the man points for creativity—who the hell thinks of shit like this? 

So tell me friends: What's the craziest thing you've done while you were intoxicated? Maybe something you did this weekend, perhaps? Do share!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

What's your quality of life like?

One of my biggest complaints about living in New York is my quality of life. (If you saw my 500-square foot apartment that I share with my sister, you'd understand). That's not to say that I don't have a great life here, but for the effort, work and money I put in, I don't get enough in return. We all know about my financial woes, but lately it's been my day-to-day life that's been getting me down. I live the life of a 23 year-old, not an almost 29 year-old. I want to cook nice meals on a regular basis and go on leisurely walks during the weekend without worrying about everything I need to get done that day--just normal stuff.

I know it's going to be a while before I'm not living paycheck to paycheck, but these simple life pleasures are definitely obtainable if I organize my time better and make them a priority. So, I started this morning by going on a walk with my boyfriend. We walked around a part of the Lower East Side that we rarely venture to and discovered lots of new cafes and restaurants.

We tried a new brunch place called Flowers Cafe. It had a cute hippie theme, and all the dishes on the menu had words like "groovy" and "go-go" attached to the names. I got the western egg-white omelette with wheat toast and a skim latte. Simple, but tasty. And cheap--my meal was about $7. My boyfriend got the steamed hot chocolate and it was so good. It was just steamed milk with Hershey's syrup, but it definitely beat the powdered stuff.

We walked by this cool little doughnut shop and even though I was full from brunch and (surprisingly) not really craving anything sweet, we decided to stop in. You know, for the experience.

I was tempted by this pumpkin doughnut, but went with the apple cinnamon one instead. It was really good--and even had little apple pieces on top--but I didn't end up finishing it because it was a little too sugary.

After our little adventure, I came back and hopped right on the computer to return emails and do a little blogging. It was hard to peel myself away from the computer to go to a yoga class, but I did, and I'm so glad. I really enjoyed it, and unlike this yoga class I recently told you about, I focused on my breathing and just relaxing. (I will say though, that my pigeon binds and balancing poses were on POINT, y'all). I even stayed until the very end of class to do some meditation. The teacher taught the class a new pose that's supposed to help with "balancing your emotions." So we sat indian style with our hands jammed up under our armpits and our shoulders scrunched up to our ears. (Think Molly Shannon in Superstar before she smells her fingers). I'm not sure if this move actually does anything to balance emotions, but it was funny.

Alright, well I'm off to check a couple more things off the ol' To-Do list before I get ready to go out. I'm being very ambitious (especially because it's so rainy out) and hitting up three parties tonight. Hopefully I'll have some good stories to share!
But tell me: What's your quality of life like? Is there anything you wish was different?

Friday, October 23, 2009

Photo Shoot Friday: Hot Clothes and FREE Bikinis

Wednesday I went to a preview party for Roxy's Spring 2010 line. The verdict? So so SO cute!!! I love that relaxed surfer-girl style. And actually, the line has really branched out in the last year, so there is definitely something for everyone no matter what look you're rockin'.

Check out this gray denim vest and straw fedora. I'm digging the combo. If I could wear an effortlessly-cool outfit like this all the time, I totally would. (And it kind of looks like something Rihanna would wear, no?)

Ok so whoever styled the clothes for the event is a genius and deserves a raise immediately. (Wink, wink Linds). Feminine dress+army green jacket= perfection.

This is my friend, Lindsay—she does PR for Roxy. Bless her heart, she's been sweet enough to invite me to all her fun parties even though I'm a magazine nomad at the moment. (Like her scarf? It's by Roxy!)

How cool is this purse? And versatile—I can't think of many things in my closet I couldn't wear it with. (P.S. For some reason I've always wanted a reason to wear a bright pair of headphones around my neck. Just call me DJ Elle.)

Beaded gladiator sandals—adorable! Isn't it funny that we're looking at all of these fun spring pieces and it's 50 degrees outside? That's the interesting (and sometimes challenging) thing about being an editor—the time of year never corresponds with what you're working on because everything has to be done months in advance.

Something I always need (or should I say want) more of: HOODIES!!! This one looks so comfy.

Ok, so the highlight of my night—besides seeing Lindsay and the kickass clothes, of course—was getting to pick out my own bikini. Yes, people, a FREE Roxy bikini! I picked the purple ruffle top with the teal bottoms—way cute! I think this is the best complimentary item I've received—ever. (Actually, sorry, second best. Thea just hooked me up with a pair of New Balance sneaks. Goodbye plantar faciitis!)

Wow, what a good night. If you don't have a Roxy store near you, check it out online at!

OK, so semi-random question: How many of you are online shoppers? (I've only done it once my entire life—a $15 pair of Old Navy wedges). And which Roxy piece do you like best? Come Spring, that gray denim vest and straw fedora will be MINE!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Who's your favorite cover girl?

I can't afford to buy tons of magazines every month like I used to, so I was psyched when Liza brought home the November issue of Vogue. I can't say that I read Vogue cover to cover (or even much at all), but I do like looking at the fashion spreads. And look at this cover—how beautiful is that?

The cover girls: Nicole Kidman, Marion Cotillard, Penelope Cruz and Kate Hudson got together to promote their upcoming movie, Nine. Out of the four women, I like Penelope best. She's talented, drama-free and crazy-gorgeous. (Muy caliente, mama!) I like Marion Cotillard too—she was good in Public Enemies, and she's got that cool Old Hollywood Glamour thing going on. Kate Hudson is a hard person not to like, but I'm curious to see how she does in this musical. It will be quiet a change of pace from Bride Wars, I'm sure. And I really don't know what to say about Nicole Kidman. She's kinda bleh to me. She does have amazing skin, I'll give her that. However, I'm pretty sure that if I bitch-slapped her hard across the face, she wouldn't even feel it. (Have you ever seen her face move?)

Daniel Day Lewis is the main male character in the movie who has relationships with all four women--one is his agent, mistress, muse and wife. If I had to guess, I'd say that Kate plays the agent, Marion the mistress, Penelope the muse and Nicole the wife.

What would your guesses be? And which actress do you like best and WHY??

What NOT to be for Halloween

Halloween is just around the cobwebbed corner—do you know what you're going to be? If not, use the process of elimination to help with your decision-making. Check out this article at to see the seven Halloween costumes you must avoid at all costs. What's that you say? You already bought a Michael Jackson wig and vampire face paint? Return it—stat!

I shouldn't have to tell you this, but Sarah Palin is so last year. I don't care if you look like her identical twin sister and have Tina Fey's SNL skit committed to memory—DO NOT GO THERE. No one wants to see it. 

When I wrote this post, I was clueless as to what I was going to be for Halloween; however, I have finally reached a decision. I'm not going to tell you what it is, obviously, but I will say that I'm taking a  more creative route. (At least I think I am—watch hundreds of New Yorkers have the exact same idea!) I just found out last night that the party I'm going to will be a more fashion-y crowd. I'm not sure if my homemade costume will fit in with this group, but then again, I'm not wearing it to blend in. I'm out to make a statement, baby! 

So tell me: What are you going to be for Halloween? What are some of the most cliche ideas you've heard of so far?

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Feeling Guilty...again

Stop rolling your eyes--this post isn't going to be a rant about how I ate my feelings last night. Instead, I'm going to switch gears a little bit and talk about something that has been weighing on my mind for the last few years.

As I told you in this post, my dad passed away from lung cancer three years ago. The anniversary of his death is coming up in two weeks, and lately I've been thinking about how these last few years have been without him. I think about him all the time and miss him a lot, but I only occasionally cry about the fact that he is gone. In all honesty, I've coped with his death well.

For the past three years I have felt guilty about this. I felt that the more tears I shed, the more I would prove to myself how much my dad meant to me. I've even found myself feeling happy when I cry for him. See, I haven't forgotten about you, Dad. See how much I love you.

Before I got my current gig at The Knot, and was able to enjoy daytime TV, I saw a Dr. Phil show that made me feel a lot better about this burden I've been carrying. He was talking to a mother who lost her son in the war. She said she feels guilty every time she laughs or has a happy moment. Then Dr. Phil replied with something like, "Your tears don't signify your love for him. Just because you aren't crying, doesn't mean you are over the fact that he is gone. He would want you to be happy." OK, so what Dr. Phil said was a lot more profound, but you get the idea.

I can't say that his words made me feel 100% better, but they have helped a lot. And it's true, my dad would want me to be happy. I think one reason I have dealt with his death so well is the fact that my parents raised me with a "This is life, things happen," mentality. I'm not one to feel sorry for myself or act like I have it so much harder than everyone else. (Even though I do quite a bit of whining on this blog). I realize how blessed I am no matter what other hurdles may come my way down the road. And I like that I was raised this way. I know a lot of other people who totally freak out at the smallest things--it's not something I can really comprehend.

Anyway, I do feel a little better for sharing. If anyone else has something they'd like to get off their chest today, you know what to do.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

What creepy shit do you do on Facebook?

So I joined Facebook for the same reasons most people do: to stay in touch with old friends; keep tabs on ex-boyfriends; to help me find a date on Saturday night when I'm feeling lonely—you know, the usual. Right, so I'm obviously kidding. Well, not about the first thing of course. Facebook is also an awesome source to see who's gotten fat, or skinny; who's on their second marriage or getting knocked up for the third time before the age of 30....all that good stuff. 

 Ok, so I'm getting off topic. Lately I've been going a little bananas with the friend requests. The other day I requested to be friends with these two guys I babysat for when I was in high school. I totally love these guys, but the fact that they are like Nick Jonas's age, totally puts me in Creeper territory. I even wrote them a little message and said something along the lines of: "I can't believe how grown up you are!" Lame. They didn't write back, and I don't blame them. 

So now that I'm writing this, I guess my little confession isn't all that creepy, even though it did make me feel like a bit of a loser. I think I just wanted an excuse to say "creepy shit" a few times. 

But anyway, I guess my question is: What creepy shit can you even do on Facebook? What do YOU do? 

Who do you dress for?

Some women think about their boyfriends or husbands when deciding what to wear. And a lot of women dress for other women. Sounds weird, but it's true. There is absolutely nothing worse than looking around the room, wishing you were wearing what she had on. That sucks. I usually dress for myself, which really trickles down to the fact that I dress for other women. If I feel good, I don't care as much what anyone else is wearing.

Yesterday morning when I was looking at my closet, I knew I was going to see my boyfriend later that night, but I dressed for myself anyway. I usually try to get a bit more dressed up for him, but yesterday I decided to try this denim-on-denim trend I've been seeing everywhere. (My plantar faciitis is still bothering me a little so I couldn't wear my boots). I'm not sure if I totally pulled it off, but I liked it.

I was prepared for my boyfriend to say, "What's this you've got on?" with a quizzical look on his face, as he has done several times before. But, he didn't. He actually liked the look. Sweet. I was a bit surprised--especially because my super-tight skinny jeans and sneaks combo looked a little tomboy-ish, but hey, if the man says he likes it, I'm not going to question him!

So tell me: Who do you usually dress for? And guys, do you think it's weird that women dress for other women? (Trust me, they totally do).

What kind of yogi are you?

I'm the worst kind: Competitive. I know I know, that totally defeats the purpose of yoga. You're supposed to relax, and zone everything out. It's supposed to be a zen-like experience, but honestly for me it rarely is.

This weekend I went to a yoga class for the first time in about two weeks, but I didn't let that stop me from trying to keep up with the girl to my left. She had a long, lean dancer's body with perfectly sculpted arms, and I was bound and determined to take the bitch down.

As far as I could tell at the beginning of class, we were about equal. Her heels touched the ground when she was in downward facing dog, and she did slow, controlled Chaturanga push-ups just like me. Damnit. Instead of really focusing on my breathing and poses, I found myself praying that the teacher would have us do side planks. That's where I'll get her, I thought. And then, we did!

There are many variations of the side plank, but this one is the hardest (at least that I know of). I was a little wobbly as I got into position because I was trying to nonchalantly look out of the corner of my eye to see which variation the skinny bitch was doing. Ha--she just did the normal version, with her legs stacked on top of each other. YESSSS. Now I'm in the lead!

But then, we did the dreaded crow pose. I have a pretty strong upper body, so the fact that I cannot get my knees to rest behind my arms for more than a split second is puzzling to me. The skinny bitch effortlessly sprang her legs up and looked as if she could hold the position all day. Damn.

At this point we were in a tie. I knew that if we did headstands, she would come out the victor. And we did. My headstands are getting a lot better--I don't have the fear of falling like I used to; however, when I slowly start raising my legs higher and higher, I get so excited that I'm actually doing it that I usually end up spazzing out and toppling over. And yep, you guessed it, the skinny bitch aced the headstands too.

I guess the teacher picked up on the little competition I had going on because she told the class, "Don't worry about what the person next to you is doing." Oops. Sorry teach, I just can't help it!

So we ended the class with the full wheel and I did mine standing on one leg. SB did hers normal, so I suppose I beat her there, but at this point I was already feeling defeated.

I know that this is something I need to work on if I want to fully reap the benefits of yoga. Lord knows I need more relaxation and meditation in my life. It's going to be a hard habit to break--you guys remember from this post that I'm even competitive walking up the stairs! But, I'm going to try.

What about you: Are you competitive at the gym? And for all the yogis out there: How would you describe your style?

Monday, October 19, 2009

How often do you get your hair cut?

I know I've been bitching and moaning about everything under the sun lately, so if you're sick of hearing it, then don't read any further. (I'm just kidding! Keep reading...pretty please?) So remember this blog when I told you I set a record for going months without a professional mani/pedi? Well, I have set a new record--with my hair.

I usually get my hair cut every five to six weeks, but it has been nine weeks since my last haircut because I just can't afford it right now. It's probably not such a big deal to some of you who only get you hair did three times a year, but it is for me.

OK, so once my hair starts getting too long, two things happen: 1.) It's totally flat all of the time. 2.) It takes on a mullet-shape. I know it doesn't look so bad in this pic, but trust me, it is. You should see the back--it does this gnarly flip out thing. It is not cute.

Once a year, I go to Bumble and Bumble for a kick ass haircut and blow dry. (For one out of the 365 days, I have celebrity hair). The rest of the time I go to the hair salon I've been going to for the past five years. It costs $38, and I do not get my hair blown out. (Sometimes my hair dresser takes pity on me and dries it for free). The cut isn't as good as going to the fancy place, but it does the job.

I actually kind like going to my cheap hairdresser because she doesn't try to convince me I should try a new style or that the $20 glossy wash-in conditioner is so worth it. She knows I'm broke and boring when it comes to my hair. I always get a quarter-inch trim, and if I'm feeling really crazy, I go for a half-inch.

I also like my girl because she doesn't insult my hair like so many other hairdressers have in the past. Just about every hairdresser I've been to just can 't believe how thin my hair is for some reason. I am not kidding. I know my hair is thin and I hate it, but what the hell do you want me to do about it? A guy I dated in college even pointed it out to me one time. Like seriously people? I am a Collis, and while Collis' are no doubt the biggest badasses that ever walked the earth, we are not known for our thick, lustrous locks.

Ok, sorry, I'm a bit grumpy. And bitter. What else is new? On the bright side, I might take this opportunity to try some new 'dos. I can't stand Lauren Conrad, but I do love that front fishbone style braid she's been rocking for the past year. Maybe I'll try that.

Tell me: How often do you get your hair cut and how much does it cost??

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Want guys to hit on you? Wear a funny hat.

So I read an online dating article one time that said that interesting pieces of clothing or accessories, like a vintage pin or colorful scarf, are good conversation-starters. I thought that seemed a bit silly—until now. 

Joyann had a party on her patio on Saturday, and since it was freezing out, Liza took me up to her closet to get some warmer gear to wear. Out of all of the fabulous things in Joyann's closet, I came up with this crazy hat. Scratch that—badass hat. 

As soon as I came downstairs with it on, I felt like every guy there wanted to talk to me and make a comment about the hat. (I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the attention just a little bit). However, the hat garnered some negative attention as well. In the midst of everyone talking to me, I caught eyes with two skanks wearing skin-tight tube tops from Express whispering and pointing in my direction. So I just stared at them to let them know they had been busted. They didn't care. They stared back and kept talking and rolling their eyes. I kept staring until they finally turned around. It was like a staring showdown—I won.  Ladies, jealousy is not attractive. 

But I guess this also proves the point I made in this post that guys in NYC kinda suck. I mean, there were tons of pretty, stylish, single girls at the party, yet the guys were talking to the weird girl with the big pom pom on top of her head. Oh guys

So tell: Have you ever received tons of attention for something you were wearing? Would you ever wear a hat like this? (Of course you would). 

Saturday, October 17, 2009

I have a terrible disease. It's called Blogitis.

Last night Liza witnessed me having a minor breakdown as I tried to fix the font colors in my last blog. It was 7:15 and I had to pick up my laundry at the cleaners by 7:30 (it's just around the corner), but I just couldn't bring myself to leave the apartment until the problem was fixed. I finally figured it out and rushed out the door. I made it just in time. When I came back, Liza and I turned on a movie. I told myself that I was going to keep my computer turned off, but after 20 minutes, I was typing away. "I feel like we're an old married couple! We never talk and have fun anymore," she said. Ouch, that stung. But, I kinda laughed it off and didn't think much more about it. 

Until...this morning. I was in a really grumpy mood, and when Liza told me she thought my blog was taking over my life, I blew up. I started yelling and crying loud enough for my neighbors to confirm the fact that yes, the girl in 5A needs professional help. I was really tired, and as looked around my messy apartment trying to remember the last time Liza and I really laughed together, I knew she was right. 

Someone else that has suffered from this strange disease called Blogitis is Amy Adams's character, Julie, in the movie Julie and Julia. She was obsessed with her food blog. It made her cranky, and even almost destroyed her marriage. Yikes, I can't go down that path!

I tried to convince myself that it wouldn't be hard to spend less time on the computer and thinking about my blog. I was doing OK until I checked my email as I was on my way out the door to go to the gym, and saw that NYC socialite/online marketing guru, Bryce Gruber, is now following me on Twitter. My tweets totally suck, so I spent the entire hour and a half at the gym brainstorming ways to improve my tweeting skills so that cool people like Bryce won't de-friend me after two days. 

Yowzers, this is going to be harder than I thought. I told Liza I wasn't going to blog today, but here I am blogging about not blogging. Does anyone know of a 12-step program I can follow? I need help!!!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Do you compare yourself to other people?

I do, and I wish I didn't. I know it's only natural, but sometimes comparing yourself to other people just makes you feel like shit. I've gotten a lot better about not comparing myself to people when it comes to material things. I haven't been shopping in at least six months (unless you count the American Apparel shirt dress and the $10 ZARA tee I got this summer)—so there's really no point. 

However, when my friend Logan emailed me today and told me about all these great freelance projects he's working on, and how his blog is getting noticed by some pretty cool people, I instantly felt jealous. I started questioning my life, and everything I was doing. Waaa! Why aren't these things happening for ME? I thought. 

Here's Logan taking a minute to appreciate nature. Oh, and did I mention that every Tuesday he volunteers at a school in Harlem teaching art classes? Logan, why don't you go ahead and save a baby from a burning building to really finish me off.

Loge, you know I'm just kidding. No one deserves all these great things more—well, except for me maybe :) I'm happy for you. Truly, I am. (Can't you hear it in my voice? I'm trying here!)

Argh, I hate feeling bitter and competitive. Please, someone out there tell me I'm not alone!

Photo Shoot Friday: The Housewives of NEW YORK!

Last night I went to Gotham magazine's 100 Hottest Bachelors of New York party at M2 Ultra Lounge. I took a look at the bachelors on the list before I went (Ok, I studied it...I didn't want to miss anyone!), and the most exciting person on there was Edward Norton. I knew he wouldn't be there, so I didn't even let myself get excited about it.

Hmm...who else would I want to see? Justin Bartha! He's not even near one of my favorite actors, but The Hangover was pretty sweet, so I figured if I saw Justin Bartha, I'd be happy enough. So once Julie, Federicka, Nancy and I got to the party, we instantly surveyed the room. Not only was Justin Bartha nowhere in sight (he was probably holed-up downtown somewhere, working that hipster scene with gf Ashley Olsen)--but hello, where are the hot bachelors of NYC?! Instead, we got hit on by every lame dude in the place.

I suppose you can't really blame the guys for trying--look how good my girls look. However, we got a couple pick-up lines thrown our way that must be addressed:

#1: Julie and I walked past a tall, preppy guy in a yellow striped sweater, and he turned to Julie and says, "Hey, do I know you?" Julie, blinded by the guy's good looks (he was attractive, I'll give him that), stops to entertain his question. And he keeps saying it..."Yeah, I know you..." After about the fifth time of hearing him repeat himself, I grabbed Julie's arm and dragged her away. Guy, if that's the best you got for a girl as pretty as Julie, then you don't deserve to talk to her. Next!

#2: A guy (I didn't get a good look at him because I was too busy trying to stalk the NY Housewives) comes up to Federicka, Julie and Nancy and says, "Where's the fun at?!" Umm, what do you say to that? "It's right here, baby!!!" It was funny because just as Fed was about to give him a witty response, Julie starts explaining in-depth where the FRONT DOOR is at. She totally misheard him. He quickly walked away.
Here we have Kelly, Alex, Simon and one of the new NYC Housewives, Sonja Morgan. As much as I really think Kelly just sucks at life, I have to admit, she looked totally hot. Skinny bitch. Sonja is pretty, but I'm not sure if she can compete with some of the other ladies. I wasn't digging her look at all, and later in the night she wrapped a stupid pink shawl over her shoulders. Sonja, this is not Housewives of ATLANTA...step it up and represent, woman!

Here's Luann. She's a tie with Jill for my second favorite housewife (Bethenny is first, duh). She's pretty and classy, and that's good enough for me. It was funny watching the ladies have fake conversations with each other. It seemed like such work. Towards the end of the night when everyone was posing for pictures, Luann was throwing a minor Countess-esque tantrum about not having her jacket. She was waving her coat check ticket saying, "I'll take a picture, but I need my jacket. Where is my jacket?" Oh, Luann.
Here's Jill. It's not the best picture of her, sorry, I had a hard time getting around the camera crew. You can't really tell, but mama was lookin' good last night--and skin-ny (well, for her). Supposedly she follows one of Bethenny's Naturally Thin rules: Treat your diet like your bank account. Basically, if you make a heavy-calorie investment with one meal, save calories in the next one. You need to balance your account. Simple enough.

Speaking of Bethenny, she was the ONLY housewife not to show up. At one point, I heard someone say, "Clear the area for Bethenny!" and I got waaaay excited. I whipped my camera out, put the flash on, and stood there for at least twenty minutes just waiting for Bethenny while my friends were off somewhere drinking champagne and getting hit on by guys with slicked-back hair. She was a no-show. So, I decided to join my friends and have a little photo shoot of our own.
The champagne ran out, so I settled for this large can of Sapporo beer. It was pretty tasty actually. Beer is really good when you only drink it occasionally.

Here is Federicka working out her Cavalli dress. Loves it. (She works for Cavalli. Lucky bi-otch!)
And her Cavalli shoes. This pic doesn't do them justice--look at that gross grandma carpet! (Confession: I was totally jealous of Fed's outfit).

We were tired, and a bit unimpressed with the party, so we headed out early. Federicka jumped in front of this cool piece of artwork just as we were leaving. Love that model stare, Fed.

So, all in all the party was just OK. It was cool seeing the housewives, but that was about it. Most of the time, the parties you see on TV really aren't as cool as they look. Just remember that.

Tell me: Who is your favorite NYC Housewife? Season 3 will air in a few months. Are you excited for it?? I am!