Midgets and All-You-Can-Drink Champagne

Sounds sweet, right? Yeah, I thought so too. When a friend emailed me and said: "Let's go to Superdive in the East Village tonight--they're having a pirate-themed midget/ $20 all-you-can-drink champagne party," I was pumped. I'm not exactly sure why my expectations were so high because I'm usually a "expect the worst, hope for the best" kind of person. And even though I don't have a strange obsession for midgets like so many people do, I somehow thought that added to the party's cool-factor. Oh how I was mistaken.

As soon as I stepped foot into the bar, I instantly wanted to turn around and run as fast as I could in the opposite direction. It was so crowded, and the hodgepodge of people was really just...weird. Ya know in the movie Clueless when Cher walks through the school campus with Tai and explains all the different cliques? That's what it felt like (minus the cool kids). Probably the most annoying group of people I witnessed were the Upper East Side frat boys with their faded T-shirts, backwards caps and flip flops. They were totally out of their comfort zone, and this, no doubt, was their first time making it down past 42nd Street. Guys, do a favor for all of us and stay uptown where you belong.

I'm pretty certain that everyone in the bar had just recently moved to New York, and this was their first big night out. It had to be. They were just so gosh darn excited about everything. And there was one guy behind me that was talking extremely loud to a group of people about "having sex all day long." Whoa, cool man. Is that his get-laid tactic? Does he think that's a turn-on? Let's hope for his sake that's not the only Ace up his sleeve, or else he's gonna have one lonely winter.

After I saw the pathetically small champagne glasses, I opted for a glass--er, plastic cup--of white wine. I don't think the $20 all-you-can-drink deal is worth it. This glass gives you two sips of champagne (well, actually just one sip because by the time you put the glass to your lips, someone has bumped into you and spilled half your drink), and it takes at least 20 minutes to get a refill. No thanks.

The moral of the story: If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Has anyone else had a similar party experience where the expectations were high, but the outcome just sucked?