Friday, October 16, 2009

Photo Shoot Friday: The Housewives of NEW YORK!

Last night I went to Gotham magazine's 100 Hottest Bachelors of New York party at M2 Ultra Lounge. I took a look at the bachelors on the list before I went (Ok, I studied it...I didn't want to miss anyone!), and the most exciting person on there was Edward Norton. I knew he wouldn't be there, so I didn't even let myself get excited about it.

Hmm...who else would I want to see? Justin Bartha! He's not even near one of my favorite actors, but The Hangover was pretty sweet, so I figured if I saw Justin Bartha, I'd be happy enough. So once Julie, Federicka, Nancy and I got to the party, we instantly surveyed the room. Not only was Justin Bartha nowhere in sight (he was probably holed-up downtown somewhere, working that hipster scene with gf Ashley Olsen)--but hello, where are the hot bachelors of NYC?! Instead, we got hit on by every lame dude in the place.

I suppose you can't really blame the guys for trying--look how good my girls look. However, we got a couple pick-up lines thrown our way that must be addressed:

#1: Julie and I walked past a tall, preppy guy in a yellow striped sweater, and he turned to Julie and says, "Hey, do I know you?" Julie, blinded by the guy's good looks (he was attractive, I'll give him that), stops to entertain his question. And he keeps saying it..."Yeah, I know you..." After about the fifth time of hearing him repeat himself, I grabbed Julie's arm and dragged her away. Guy, if that's the best you got for a girl as pretty as Julie, then you don't deserve to talk to her. Next!

#2: A guy (I didn't get a good look at him because I was too busy trying to stalk the NY Housewives) comes up to Federicka, Julie and Nancy and says, "Where's the fun at?!" Umm, what do you say to that? "It's right here, baby!!!" It was funny because just as Fed was about to give him a witty response, Julie starts explaining in-depth where the FRONT DOOR is at. She totally misheard him. He quickly walked away.
Here we have Kelly, Alex, Simon and one of the new NYC Housewives, Sonja Morgan. As much as I really think Kelly just sucks at life, I have to admit, she looked totally hot. Skinny bitch. Sonja is pretty, but I'm not sure if she can compete with some of the other ladies. I wasn't digging her look at all, and later in the night she wrapped a stupid pink shawl over her shoulders. Sonja, this is not Housewives of ATLANTA...step it up and represent, woman!

Here's Luann. She's a tie with Jill for my second favorite housewife (Bethenny is first, duh). She's pretty and classy, and that's good enough for me. It was funny watching the ladies have fake conversations with each other. It seemed like such work. Towards the end of the night when everyone was posing for pictures, Luann was throwing a minor Countess-esque tantrum about not having her jacket. She was waving her coat check ticket saying, "I'll take a picture, but I need my jacket. Where is my jacket?" Oh, Luann.
Here's Jill. It's not the best picture of her, sorry, I had a hard time getting around the camera crew. You can't really tell, but mama was lookin' good last night--and skin-ny (well, for her). Supposedly she follows one of Bethenny's Naturally Thin rules: Treat your diet like your bank account. Basically, if you make a heavy-calorie investment with one meal, save calories in the next one. You need to balance your account. Simple enough.

Speaking of Bethenny, she was the ONLY housewife not to show up. At one point, I heard someone say, "Clear the area for Bethenny!" and I got waaaay excited. I whipped my camera out, put the flash on, and stood there for at least twenty minutes just waiting for Bethenny while my friends were off somewhere drinking champagne and getting hit on by guys with slicked-back hair. She was a no-show. So, I decided to join my friends and have a little photo shoot of our own.
The champagne ran out, so I settled for this large can of Sapporo beer. It was pretty tasty actually. Beer is really good when you only drink it occasionally.

Here is Federicka working out her Cavalli dress. Loves it. (She works for Cavalli. Lucky bi-otch!)
And her Cavalli shoes. This pic doesn't do them justice--look at that gross grandma carpet! (Confession: I was totally jealous of Fed's outfit).

We were tired, and a bit unimpressed with the party, so we headed out early. Federicka jumped in front of this cool piece of artwork just as we were leaving. Love that model stare, Fed.

So, all in all the party was just OK. It was cool seeing the housewives, but that was about it. Most of the time, the parties you see on TV really aren't as cool as they look. Just remember that.

Tell me: Who is your favorite NYC Housewife? Season 3 will air in a few months. Are you excited for it?? I am!

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