Monday, October 12, 2009

Self-medicating with cookies and chocolate

Today was not a good day. Today was the kind of day where I just couldn't remember why I'm even here. When are things going to get better? It feels like never. As much as I (usually) love New York, there are times when I want to just move to the suburbs somewhere, get a comfortable, low-stress job and chillax one good time. But, I know that's not what I really want. Plus, I'm no quitter. I'm like Rudy—all heart, motherf*****! 

Lately, I've just been feeling out of control. I have so much to do, and there's never enough time in the day to get it done. (Why I took on another unpaid writing assignment is beyond me?!) I love being busy, but there's a good and bad kind of busy. Lately, it's been the bad, not-sleeping-enough kind. 

Plus, I'm still waiting on overdue paychecks, and my plantar fasciitis is slowly coming back due to the fact that I'm wearing my tennis shoes way past their expiration date. I don't know when I'll be able to afford a new pair either. Lord, I hate being broke. 

I was feeling quite down after work, but I forced myself to the gym. My foot is in pain, so I did a light elliptical/bike workout. I knew I didn't have anything good in the fridge, so afterward I stopped by Subway for a $5 footlong (the other half will be tomorrow's lunch). I remembered I had a FREE coupon for a cookie in my wallet, and you know I couldn't let that go to waste. Along with my sandwich and complimentary cookie, I also had a few pieces of chocolate, which I might add, I got for FREE in the makeup goodie bag I got last week. I felt more pleasure than guilt after eating my after-dinner treats, so I suppose it wasn't such a bad thing.

My boyfriend will kill me after reading this confession. We're both trying to get back on a consistent, healthy track. However, even with the chocolate, my calorie count is still pretty low because I only had a cup of low-fat popcorn and an apple for lunch. (Today was a scarf down anything-you-can-get-your-hands-on at your desk kind of day). Not the healthiest, but I'll do better tomorrow. I will, pinky promise. 

Tell me: When you're feeling blue, what do you turn to for comfort? 


  1. Three Words: D. V. R.
    Ok maybe that was letters. Seriously, Cat Deeley and So You Think You Can Dance always make me feel better. Sometimes I even go watch the videos on YouTube!

  2. I go to Friendly's in Fairlawn NJ and get me a chicken parm supermelt with an orange sherbert slammer!... or if alcohol is in order... Lazy Lannigan's for a shepard's pie and some Magners hard cider!

  3. Hi Ellen! I am sorry you had a bad day!! I hope tomorrow is better! When I am feeling blue, I always turn to Ben and Jerry's for support! : )

  4. Thanks, Lalla—and I agree, Ben and Jerry are the best friends a girl can have sometimes :)

    And Joe, I've never had an orange sherbert slammer before! I'm pretty interested on seeing what THAT's all about!!

    I like that Dazey is the only one so far who does not medicate with food. I need to hop on that bandwagon. On a TOTALLY random side note, did anyone see that YouTube vid of the girl popping that guy's ENORMOUS pimple? It is sooo gross, but you can't help but to watch. It's insane. OK, that was very random. If anyone wants to see this vid, I can post it. haha

  5. Oh Elle, I feel ya. This was my Monday last week. I had a major meltdown at work and a friend actually suggested I read a book called Quarter Life Crisis. Yikes. After the embarassment subsided, I decided I needed to focus more on me and less on everyone else. That means more phone calls to friends, workouts, nights without my laptop, and picking a new non-work goal. And, I'm sure there was a slice of pizza or 2 in there somewhere. :-)

    Hang in there! You're amazing and a good venting session is needed every now and then!

  6. Elle, what size are you? Hello, just pull from the fitness wardrobe, seriously!! OMG you poor thing. I have 7s and 9s mostly, and a few 8s. Come anytime, for real.

  7. i hate bad days!!! i feel like it's so easy to get in a funk in the city because everyone is so busy. i am glad you have luke and liza to distract you somewhat. i find that i always just want a big squeeze of a hug. it's a little awkward asking my roommate, so i usually settle for some chocolate or wine and my blankie (i am NOT embarrassed of the blankie).

    forcing myself to go out and do something also makes me feel better. good for you using the gym to get some of the stress out though-sorry you can't do more when you are there!

  8. Well today is definitely a bad day for me... I have the flu! But a chocolate chip cookie still sounds delicious! Hang in there Elle... love ya!

  9. Whoa, I'm such a charity case! haha. Thanks, Thea! I'm a size 7 1/2, but 8s work too. Send send whatever to Liza if you see anything. Thanks a MILLION!!!

    And thanks, Al! Hope you pull through your rough patch, too..I know you will! (Once you get the puppy, everything will be better ;))And I like the non-work goal...I feel like ALL of my goals are work-related. That can't be healthy.

    MA, I totally agree...just getting out and doing SOMETHING also helps. Even though I couldn't run this AM, I went for a walk and it put me in the best mood. (I listened to T.I.'s "Dead and Gone" like ten times, and it really got me pumped!! ha)

  10. I eat my feelings on a regular basis..

  11. Glad to know the male species does this too, George :)