Monday, October 5, 2009

Where are the cool guys in New York hiding?

So, almost all of my girlfriends in NYC are single, and there is only one possible explanation for that: Guys are idiots. But, we already knew that. It's really ridiculous. I have so many beautiful, talented, FUN, smart, stylish friends—trust me, there is nothing not to like. The number of tools they come across in this city just really blows my mind.

One typical New York guy—the absolute worst kind—is the social climber. He uses girls to go to Fashion Week parties; meet her other hot friends and to get into the coolest clubs. And his texts usually read something like: "Ping me later, babe!" Ping me? Please. If a guy said that to me, I wouldn't be talking to him, let alone ping-ing him. What, is it supposed to be impressive that he has a Blackberry?
Another guy, of course, is the player. Sometimes the player vibe can be detected within seconds, and sometimes it takes a few weeks. In the beginning, he calls (CALLS, not texts) when he says he will, and even *gasp* takes you on these crazy things called dates that people supposedly went on in the 1960s. But then, things slowly start to fizzle. After a week of zero communication, he'll send a text that says something like: "Hey stranger! Long time no talk. Let's get together for a drink this week." Then again, no response until a week later (undoubtedly after he has been weighing all his options), another text: "Hey stranger! Things have been so crazy at work, but let's get together this week, k?" No buddy, it's not OK. And fucking quit calling me "stranger." (Maybe she wouldn't be such a stranger if you made it a priority to hang out!)

Where are the Matt Damons of the world hiding? I'm sure Matt was a playboy at one time too, but I'm choosing not to believe that. Nothing can knock Matt off the pedestal I have place him on—he just seems so cool and nice. (Anyone who disagrees with me is not my friend.)

So, for my NYC readers—do you know where in the world the cool guys are hiding? (And I don't mean quarterback of the football team cool. Just normal, self-secure, guys-guy cool). For everyone else: Where do you usually meet just regular, fun guys?


  1. Glad Atlanta is not the only city lacking in the nice, normal, secure, guys-guy category! :-) Oh well, for the time being, at least I'll have lots of entertaining stories.

  2. You are totally right! Where are the men in Manhattan!!!!

    I'm not much help. I married my best friend from h.s. Cheesy yes I know.

    Just found your blog! Not sure if you would be interested, but Shecky gave me tickets to give away for their beauty night out in NYC this wed/thursday. Go check it out and comment to win free tickets and goodie bag!

  3. oh gosh. this is definitely in my top five of posts so far!

    i don't even know where the social climbers hang out, but it would be fun to laugh at them. (while not letting them buy us drinks of course....) even my 15 year old cousin has a blackberry.

    i do not understand why guys have such an issue with insecurity. put yourself out there! no pain no gain!

    finally, i have to tell you my bus story from this morning. this girl (maybe late 20s/early 30s) got on the bus and was on her cell phone. she was talking to a friend (i guess) about this guy. they had apparently been on several dates and he came at her with the "you are a great girl, but i think we should just be friends" line which is totally fine, but on top of that he asked for her help decorating his apartment. for free.

    now, i have no idea who this girl is (and i really hope she isn't reading this now) and at first i was sort of annoyed by the loud cell phone talker on the bus at 8.30am, but the more i overheard (she WAS sitting right next to me after all) the more i felt for this girl. that guy definitely had some guts. although maybe he just doesn't want to date someone that sees no problem with discussing their relationship loudly on the public transportation system.

  4. wow, i'm really sorry that was so long!

  5. Oh the blasphemy!! MATTY WAS NEVER A PLAYER. Anyone who says otherwise can meet me anytime, any place to exchange fisticuffs.

    And I guess my best advice for the fabulous single gals is to take a trip to England, they seem to have a few keepers over there, eh? :)

  6. MA, don't worry about the long comments--I LOVE it!!! Social climbers in New York? Just go anywhere in Meatpacking/West Village and you'll find them. Interesting bus story, poor girl. The "let's just be friends" speech is the worst, and I can't believe the had the audacity to ask about decorating his apt. Geeze. Again, my point is proven...Guys are idiots!

    Rain, I don't worry, I don't really think Matt was ever a player. His wife is one lucky woman. And yes, I recommend a trip over to Londontown...lots of cute boys there ;)

    High-heeled: Thanks SO much for getting in touch--I had so much fun tonight and was said I didn't see you! (That place was huuuge). And I think it's cute you married your high school sweetie :)

    And Al, you are certainly not alone. I think tools are everywhere, you can't escape it.

    Hiii PK! You're a cool NYC guy...where do YOU hang out?? ;)

  7. ahhh Matt damon.. what everyone says my soon to be hubby looks like lol
    so totally love the blog, i feel you on the stranger thing, had some people i knew back then who were like that!