"You have to fall in order to learn."

Those are the words of the five year-old genius that gave me this cute look last night. (Heart sticker, side ponytail—don't be jealous.) Yes, more babysitting. It was actually the easiest, most enjoyable babysitting job I have ever done. I had to cancel a girls' night to do it, but it was worth it. Anyway, back to my point.

The little girl was telling me about her ice skating play date tomorrow, and I told her that I wasn't a very good ice skater and that I usually fall down a lot. To which she replied, "Well, you have to fall if you want to learn." Amazing. I couldn't believe how something so simple resonated with me so much. 

I've fallen down so many times in the last nine months. But, I chose to. If wanted an easy, complacent life I wouldn't have quit a cushiony job to take a risky one at a TABLOID magazine for crying out loud. You'd think I wasn't aware of the state our economy is in! But, I've learned more during this short amount of time than I did in the five years I was clocking in hours at an office. Somehow I am more in touch with who I am and where I'm going than ever before, even when it feels like I can't see past tomorrow. 

I will continue to fall, but if anything, I know I have you guys to pick me up again ;) What do you think of this five year-old's words of wisdom? Has anyone said something recently that really struck a cord with you?

Are you confrontational?

I'm not—at all. And I hate it because I think it's a weak quality. I'm aware of the fact that you can stand up for yourself without totally biting someone's head off, but I still can't do it. Like last night, for instance. I told the mother of the girls I was babysitting for that I'd need money for a cab home in addition to my hourly rate (hourly rate, geeze, that sounds pathetic), and she said fine. Well, that was two weeks ago. Last night when the dad handed over my cash and asked if it was enough, of course, I said yes. There was no cab money included, and while I'm sure it just totally slipped their minds (at least that's what I'm telling myself), I was a  bit bummed. I even gave the girls an autographed photo of the Jonas Brothers—if that isn't tip-worthy, I don't know what is!

People that are skilled at confrontation amaze me. The other week in my vinyasa yoga class, the substitute teacher did ashtanga instead, which to me, is a bit more aerobic and challenging. I was happy about the change of pace, but I could tell that a few of the older women in the class were not. Then one of them blurted out, "What's going on here? This isn't vinyasa!" I was stunned. 

Remember this catfight Kristin and Audrina had at Heidi's birthday party? K-Cav's got guts, man—she isn't scared to step to anyone. (She does need to go back to acting school though, yikes). I wish I could be a bit more like her. Just a bit. 

Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm non-confrontational with everything. I'll let a hairdresser whack off two more inches than I wanted, or a masseuse give me a deep tissue massage that hurts so bad I feel like I could be paralyzed before I say a peep. I finally worked up the guts to tell the girls at my nail place (you know, when I could afford to get a mani/pedi) that I didn't want my cuticles cut and that I just couldn't handle anyone massaging my calves because it tickled too much. Oh, and the other day when a guy took the cab that I had hailed, I got a little feisty and yelled out, "Nice work, guy!" and gave him a thumbs up. Umm yeah, he was all the way across the street, and if he had actually walked over to me, I probably would have apologized and run away. 

So tell me: Is anyone else non-confrontational like I am? Who's good at it? I need help!!

When's the last time you've had to swallow that pill—called pride?

So I never told you guys about this, but about two months ago I applied for a part-time job at a spinning studio to work at the front desk. (It's actually the same studio I told you about in this post.) I was asked to come in and try a class and then get trained for the position. As I was being taught how to clock people in and fold the towels a certain way, I was thinking to myself, Am I seriously doing this right now? Am I really this desperate? Apparently, I was. It actually wasn't so bad. The people were cool and I got to take a free spinning class, but I knew it wasn't for me. Dealing with grumpy rich women who've had entirely too much Botox and haven't ingested anything other than non-fat lattes in over a week is not my idea of fun. I was only there one day, but if I had heard a bitch complain about how her "assigned bike isn't close enough to the front of the room" one more time I would have shot myself. In the foot. 

I wasn't technically offered the job, so when The Knot emailed me the next day about helping them with a research project, I jumped on the opportunity. Honestly, I never thought that at (almost) 29 years-old, I'd be cruising Craigslist for the same type of jobs I had when I was eighteen. 

Even though the consistent paychecks from my current gig are certainly helping, I'm nowhere close to being financially comfortable yet. So, when I was recently asked to babysit on a Saturday night until 3am, I said yes. (Is it terrible that I asked for cab money home in addition to my hourly rate?) Babysitting is fine, and the girls are sweet, but I do feel a little weird about it. I mean, it's just totally awkward when the parents come home wasted and hand me a wad of cash. 

So yeah, I guess you could say I've had to just suck it up and swallow my pride lately. Can anyone else out there relate to this?

Three Little Words

Last night I babysat for the same two girls I wrote about last month. When I was putting them to bed, the older girl said, "I love you." Whaaat? Panic set in. Did I just hear what I think I heard? Even I knew what I had heard, I was scared I might have been hallucinating. Not knowing what to do, I quickly blurted out, "LoveyouGOODNIGHT!" all as one big word.

I was so awkward about it (it kinda reminded me of the time a boy said those words to me for the first time. Umm, yeah, awkward). I was certainly touched, but a bit confused. Is it normal for an 11 year-old girl to tell her babysitter she loves her after only the second time meeting her? I mean, that's kinda like a guy dropping the L-bomb on a second date. Crazy.

This sudden outburst of affection was no doubt brought on by the fact that just moments before I sang the bedtime song my dad used to sing to me, which I wrote about here. I felt a little silly singing at first, but I kept going because I knew they'd love it. They did. Thanks, Dad.

No matter who it is telling you those three little words, it's always a nice feeling. Tell me: Who was the last person to say "I love you," and how did it make you feel?

I've joined the Babysitter's Club

Even though I had plans last night, I canceled them so I could babysit—you know I can't turn down money these days! The girls I babysat were a 1 1/2-year-old baby and a 4-year-old. Nine to 12-year-old boys are my area of expertise, so the thought of taking care of two very young girls sent me straight into panic mode. I called my mom right away. Her advice for the 4-year-old was:

-Wear something cute (little girls like pretty things)

-Make her think everything you do is her idea

-Smile a lot and be upbeat, even when she gets grumpy

Isn't it interesting that babysitting a 4 year-old is so similar to dating a 29 year-old? I've got this DOWN. (I joke, I joke). Even though I'm certain that babies can smell my fear from miles away (I've seen it happen), I wasn't as worried about the baby. You should have seen me in my apartment practicing all the nursery rhymes and bedtime stories I know before I left. I even rehearsed the hand movements to the Itsy Bitsy Spider. Pathetic. I had one bedtime song up my sleeve that I knew would be fail-proof. It's a song my dad used to sing to us when we were little—we LOVED it and never got sick of it, not even when we got older. Here it is:

                                              

Sorry the video is so dark, the lighting in Luke's apartment is horrible. And I just realized I got the first line of the song wrong. It should be: "When I go to sleep, I never count sheep, I count all my stars for..." Just FYI. 

It turned out that all my preparation wasn't needed because both girls were asleep when I arrived. Phew. The 4-year-old ran out of her room crying for mommy and tried to unlock the front door at the end of the night, but after a few seconds of rubbing her back and reassuring her that mommy would be home soon, she calmed down. 

However, tonight I am babysitting for six and nine-year-old girls. More girls. The lady that referred me to the family called to give me the lowdown and said: "They are Dutch, but speak great English and are very sweet and well-behaved." Sounds easy enough, I thought. Wrong. Then she said: "And I don't know how smart you are, but they are definitely smarter than I am!" Perfect. We all know my insecurities about being smart; I don't need someone a quarter of my age making me feel like an idiot. I have a feeling that the fact that I've met Hannah Montana aka Miley Cyrus, The Jonas Brothers, Taylor Swift, Demi Lavato and Selena Gomez will mean nothing to these girls. That is usually my saving grace with young girls. Argh. (I must also confess that I watched Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader last night to "prepare" for tonight. Guys, I don't think I am smarter than a fifth grader. Phooey.) Ohh well. I'll survive, I always do.

I know that every is away for the holiday weekend, but if anyone out there is reading and can give me advice on how to handle these two little girl geniuses, I would love you forever!