I have a hard time telling my friends that I love them. Does that make me a stone cold bitch?

I hope not. I don't know what my problem is, but whenever a friend says "I love you" over the phone or in a text message, I have a hard time saying or typing it back. I usually just say, "You too!" or at the very most, "Love ya!" Like, when I'm on the phone with a good friend that I haven't talked to in a while, I know the L-word is coming. As the conversation wraps up, I get a little anxious about who's going to say it first. My internal dialogue usually goes something like this: She always says it first--I should this time. But, what if she hadn't planned on saying it? What if it comes out insincere? Shit, Ellen, just say it. It's your best fucking friend. Get a grip. Umm...yeah. What does this mean? Do I have a black heart? Of course I love my friends, obvi--so why can't I effortlessly drop the L-biggity bomb on them?

You'd think I wasn't hugged enough as a child or something. Sheesh. I do think though, that some people throw around the L-word a little too freely. I've had girls tell me they loved me (calm down boys, it was not sexual), and I just thought to myself, "Really?" I mean, I know you can love a lot of people a lot of different ways, so I don't even know why I take this so seriously--especially with my girlfriends. It's something I want to work on because I don't ever want to regret not letting my friends know just how much they mean to me.

Speaking of friends, will you be my friend and join the Fired 'n' Fabulous fan page on Facebook? And follow me on Twitter. And spread the word about FnF and...umm...that's all for now! So whatcha think: Is it weird that I have such a hard time telling my friends I love them?

Three Little Words

Last night I babysat for the same two girls I wrote about last month. When I was putting them to bed, the older girl said, "I love you." Whaaat? Panic set in. Did I just hear what I think I heard? Even I knew what I had heard, I was scared I might have been hallucinating. Not knowing what to do, I quickly blurted out, "LoveyouGOODNIGHT!" all as one big word.

I was so awkward about it (it kinda reminded me of the time a boy said those words to me for the first time. Umm, yeah, awkward). I was certainly touched, but a bit confused. Is it normal for an 11 year-old girl to tell her babysitter she loves her after only the second time meeting her? I mean, that's kinda like a guy dropping the L-bomb on a second date. Crazy.

This sudden outburst of affection was no doubt brought on by the fact that just moments before I sang the bedtime song my dad used to sing to me, which I wrote about here. I felt a little silly singing at first, but I kept going because I knew they'd love it. They did. Thanks, Dad.

No matter who it is telling you those three little words, it's always a nice feeling. Tell me: Who was the last person to say "I love you," and how did it make you feel?