The Humpy Dance is your chance, do the HUMP!

Well, that little ditty would be totally random if it wasn't in fact HUMP DAY. (Gotta love those long weekends, right?!) Actually, well, it's almost over. I had every intention of getting this post up sooner, but a serious case of writer's block prolonged an assignment I was working on earlier, so here we are. 

(What's this dude UP to these days anyway?)

So let's play a little get-to-know-you game. The blog is always me me me—crying, whining, overeating, ranting, falling asleep at bars—and quite frankly I'm getting a little bored with myself. I want to hear from YOU every once in a while. In TWO words or less, answer these short questions. Por ejemplo:

Fave nail polish: Navy

First kiss: Bobby Gordon

Fave alcoholic bev: vodka

Fave non-alcoholic bev: coffee

What are you doing right this second: Biting nails

Yoga or pilates: Yoga, duh

Pet peeve: Smarty pants

BBQ or Sour cream flavor: Tie! 

Bagels: Nope

Fave accent: British

Who makes you LOL: brother

Fave summertime footwear: wedges

Something you lack: willpower

Ice cream: PB chocolate

Childhood hero: Summer Sanders

Breakfast this am: Naan

YOUR TURN! I DARE someone who's never commented before to just do it! C'mon! Please?

Do you have workout ADD?

I do sometimes and it SUCKS. I hate when I watch the clock at the gym when I KNOW I should be too busy working up a sweat to even think about what time it is! The other day I went to a spinning and yoga class back to back. (I've been doing double workouts on days I have the time because my schedule has been so sporadic lately.) In both classes I just watched the seconds tick, tick, tick on by. The spinning instructor was partially to blame though. She played the WORST music ever—it was a random techno mix, and I hate techno. Umm hello, teach, is a little Rihanna too much to ask for?! I just couldn't get motivated, so I left class ten minutes early to do some glute work before yoga.

I'm pretty good at concentrating on exercises that concern my ass, so for those 10 minutes, I was focused. But then it was time to get my downward facing dog on, and I was back to being distracted. Just as I'd start thinking about my To-Do list and what I was going to have for dinner, the teacher would say, "Don't let your mind drift. Bring it back to what you are doing in this very moment." Damn, the bitch is a mind reader! Well, she probably caught me glancing at the clock every five minutes. She also told us to "find our inner juiciness" and that "deeper doesn't mean better." Who the hell can concentrate with commentary like THAT?!

So yep, I'm diagnosing myself with workout ADD. Who else gets it? Is there a cure?

Variety isn't always the spice of life

I'm constantly reading that you need to switch things up at the gym in order to "trick" your body and get maximum results, so the other day I went to a step class at the gym for the first time since college. It was an advanced class, but I'm pretty fit, so I figured I'd be alright. Plus, if you've ever seen me on the dance floor, you know I've got coordination. (Ellen fun fact: I can do the worm!) 

As soon as the instructor announced he wasn't going to repeat or demonstrate the steps, my confidence level dropped. He said, "I don't need to show you the steps anyway because you're the ones here for the workout!" Umm, based on that Santa Claus belly you're rocking, buddy, yes you DO need to do the workout!

I did fine with the basic steps, knee raises and hamstring curls, but everything after that was a blur. Quickly other steps were incorporated into the routine that totally screwed up my rhythm: the revolving door, back door, C-step—what the heck?! I was so lost and frustrated, and it didn't make me feel good that even the granny with purple hair next to me was keeping up. I didn't want a step class to defeat me, so I kept at it, hoping I'd magically catch on. I never did, so I left after 30 minutes and hopped on a spinning bike to finish my cardio workout. Fail. 

I suppose I'll need to find another way to shake up my usual yoga/running/spinning gym routine. Anyone have suggestions? On that note, I'm heading to yoga class now and then hitting the treadmill after! ha. 

2009: What a year it's been!

As you know, 2009 hasn't exactly been the best year of my life, but I'm so happy that I decided to document everything here on this blog to share with all of you! One day, soon I hope, I'll be able to look back at this time in my life as a minor hiccup on my journey to success and riches. 

I'm going to take this opportunity to look back at my favorite posts from the last five months. (Has it been that long already?!)

1. I was used and abused as a laundry bitch.

2. I had a very public orgasm experience over FREE soup.

3. My alter ego—What up, gangsterrr!?

4. I got TMI raunchy-style for the first time here. 

5. NYC douchebag hatin' was goin' on here. 

6. I got waaaay too competitive in yoga class.

7. I remembered the greatest, coolest, kindest, most badass man that has ever lived here. Miss you, Dad!!!

8. My love letter to Samantha Ronson. XOXO

9. Pop-Tarts!!!

10. Celebrity Flashback! Channing, Nick, Romeo—call me ;)

11. I introduced you to the Bean Bitch. 'Nuff said.

12. I blamed NYC for my fat ass here. 

13. My Glamour photo shoot: Walk of Shame!

14. I admitted it, I'm no smarty pants.

15. NYC party snobs. The usual suspects: Headache Girl, Miss Moody, Miz Fab.

Aww, fun times! Well I hope everyone has a safe and FUN New Year's Eve! You better believe I'll be posting Photo Shoot Friday tomorrow, so check back in!

Tell me: What was 2009 like for you?

When someone farts out loud, do ignore it or acknowledge it?

Tonight in yoga class, the 60 year-old instructor broke a little audible wind as she bent over to adjust someone in triangle pose. I felt a smirk form on my face as I looked around to see who would, at the very least, give me a smirk back to acknowledge the fact that something totally hilarious just happened. I looked left, then right—and no one, absolutely no one had skipped a beat. There wasn't one freakin' person in the room to share the moment with.

The fart wasn't loud, not loud at all. It was kind of high-pitched, like the very last fart Jeff Daniels squeaked out after his machine gun farting scene in Dumb and Dumber. (Please, people, tell me you know what I'm talking about!) It was so unavoidable that I thought the teacher would make a little joke about it, or say something about how farting was very natural and nothing to be embarrassed about or something, but no. Not a word, not a smile, nada.

I don't fart out loud often, but if one happens to sneak out when I'm with my sister or a friend, I acknowledge it in some way so that the other person isn't standing there wondering what the hell just happened.

Who's with me on this? Should audible farts be acknowledged or ignored? Does anyone have any funny stories to share?!

What's your quality of life like?

One of my biggest complaints about living in New York is my quality of life. (If you saw my 500-square foot apartment that I share with my sister, you'd understand). That's not to say that I don't have a great life here, but for the effort, work and money I put in, I don't get enough in return. We all know about my financial woes, but lately it's been my day-to-day life that's been getting me down. I live the life of a 23 year-old, not an almost 29 year-old. I want to cook nice meals on a regular basis and go on leisurely walks during the weekend without worrying about everything I need to get done that day--just normal stuff.

I know it's going to be a while before I'm not living paycheck to paycheck, but these simple life pleasures are definitely obtainable if I organize my time better and make them a priority. So, I started this morning by going on a walk with my boyfriend. We walked around a part of the Lower East Side that we rarely venture to and discovered lots of new cafes and restaurants.

We tried a new brunch place called Flowers Cafe. It had a cute hippie theme, and all the dishes on the menu had words like "groovy" and "go-go" attached to the names. I got the western egg-white omelette with wheat toast and a skim latte. Simple, but tasty. And cheap--my meal was about $7. My boyfriend got the steamed hot chocolate and it was so good. It was just steamed milk with Hershey's syrup, but it definitely beat the powdered stuff.

We walked by this cool little doughnut shop and even though I was full from brunch and (surprisingly) not really craving anything sweet, we decided to stop in. You know, for the experience.

I was tempted by this pumpkin doughnut, but went with the apple cinnamon one instead. It was really good--and even had little apple pieces on top--but I didn't end up finishing it because it was a little too sugary.

After our little adventure, I came back and hopped right on the computer to return emails and do a little blogging. It was hard to peel myself away from the computer to go to a yoga class, but I did, and I'm so glad. I really enjoyed it, and unlike this yoga class I recently told you about, I focused on my breathing and just relaxing. (I will say though, that my pigeon binds and balancing poses were on POINT, y'all). I even stayed until the very end of class to do some meditation. The teacher taught the class a new pose that's supposed to help with "balancing your emotions." So we sat indian style with our hands jammed up under our armpits and our shoulders scrunched up to our ears. (Think Molly Shannon in Superstar before she smells her fingers). I'm not sure if this move actually does anything to balance emotions, but it was funny.

Alright, well I'm off to check a couple more things off the ol' To-Do list before I get ready to go out. I'm being very ambitious (especially because it's so rainy out) and hitting up three parties tonight. Hopefully I'll have some good stories to share!

But tell me: What's your quality of life like? Is there anything you wish was different?

What kind of yogi are you?

I'm the worst kind: Competitive. I know I know, that totally defeats the purpose of yoga. You're supposed to relax, and zone everything out. It's supposed to be a zen-like experience, but honestly for me it rarely is.

This weekend I went to a yoga class for the first time in about two weeks, but I didn't let that stop me from trying to keep up with the girl to my left. She had a long, lean dancer's body with perfectly sculpted arms, and I was bound and determined to take the bitch down.

As far as I could tell at the beginning of class, we were about equal. Her heels touched the ground when she was in downward facing dog, and she did slow, controlled Chaturanga push-ups just like me. Damnit. Instead of really focusing on my breathing and poses, I found myself praying that the teacher would have us do side planks. That's where I'll get her, I thought. And then, we did!

There are many variations of the side plank, but this one is the hardest (at least that I know of). I was a little wobbly as I got into position because I was trying to nonchalantly look out of the corner of my eye to see which variation the skinny bitch was doing. Ha--she just did the normal version, with her legs stacked on top of each other. YESSSS. Now I'm in the lead!

But then, we did the dreaded crow pose. I have a pretty strong upper body, so the fact that I cannot get my knees to rest behind my arms for more than a split second is puzzling to me. The skinny bitch effortlessly sprang her legs up and looked as if she could hold the position all day. Damn.

At this point we were in a tie. I knew that if we did headstands, she would come out the victor. And we did. My headstands are getting a lot better--I don't have the fear of falling like I used to; however, when I slowly start raising my legs higher and higher, I get so excited that I'm actually doing it that I usually end up spazzing out and toppling over. And yep, you guessed it, the skinny bitch aced the headstands too.

I guess the teacher picked up on the little competition I had going on because she told the class, "Don't worry about what the person next to you is doing." Oops. Sorry teach, I just can't help it!

So we ended the class with the full wheel and I did mine standing on one leg. SB did hers normal, so I suppose I beat her there, but at this point I was already feeling defeated.

I know that this is something I need to work on if I want to fully reap the benefits of yoga. Lord knows I need more relaxation and meditation in my life. It's going to be a hard habit to break--you guys remember from this post that I'm even competitive walking up the stairs! But, I'm going to try.

What about you: Are you competitive at the gym? And for all the yogis out there: How would you describe your style?

Can working out really make you fat?

When I emailed my friends asking them about what motivated them to exercise for an assignment I was working on, Federica responded: "I don't work out--I have a theory it makes me fat!" Say what? When we got together last Thursday, I asked her what she meant and she said, "When I used to work out like crazy, I was 20 pounds heavier because I ate so much more." Hmm, interesting.
Since I started my new office job, I've traded my usual 6am workouts with blogging sessions. (It's hard to do at night because I'm usually either at an event, hanging out with midgets dressed as pirates or finishing up work that I'm actually getting paid to do.) The result? I've only worked out once in the past eight days. Yikes, that's a record. I did my Physique57 video the other day, and a couple other days I did random sets of push-ups, dips, lunges and crunches. I'm counting it all as one workout because not much cardio was involved. That's quite a difference from my usual routine of running, spinning and yoga classes.

I used to freak out if I exercised less than six times a week, but I've really been too busy to care too much. I actually noticed that my tummy is looking a little flatter--could I be losing weight? I have been eating a little healthier though: more veggies, less Diet Coke, more green tea and less ICE CREAM. So I'm feeling OK.

Acording to this article in TIME magazine, exercise plays a very small factor in weight loss, if any at all. The two main points were that exercise: 1.) Stimulates hunger. 2.) Gives you the "compensation problem." (ie. "I deserve this pizza because I just worked out!") This theory makes sense to me, but I'm not going to stop working out just to test its effectiveness (knowing me, I'd find a way to eat more and then some). I do think I might start trying to be smarter about my workouts though. Going forward, I want to push myself harder, but exercise a little less. I don't think six workouts a week is realistic anymore!

This being said, I can't WAIT for my spinning class tomorrow morning. Nothing is stopping me from going. I also cancelled plans with Jenn tomorrow night so I could go to yoga, too (sorry, Jenn!). I need to get back on track--my body is craving it!

Tell me: Do you agree with this theory? What changes do you see in yourself when you're working out more/less?