Thursday, August 6, 2009

I just can't deal with party snobs. How do you?

Last night I had planned on going out to two events, but made the executive decision to stay home and nurse this sore throat that just won't quit. Honestly, I was happy to be home sitting on my couch with a cup of hot tea, watching Top Chef Masters. As much fun as these parties can be, they are also quite stressful. Picking out an outfit is a chore for me, as we already know. Then, once I get to the party I have to scope the crowd to see who's there. There are usually three usual suspects I can count on seeing:

Suspect #1: I'm going to call her Headache Girl. I swear, every time I approach her at a party, it's: "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, but I'm so tired, I have a headache, I just want to leave..." and she walks away. I have stopped approaching her at parties, it's just not worth it. 

Suspect #2: I'm going to call her Miss Moody, 'cause homegirl always has a grumpy expression on her face. The other week I was at a party and spotted MM across the room. I thought about walking over to say hi, but then decided to wait until we crossed paths later in the night. Well, we did. She walked right by me—someone was standing in between us—and I waved and said hi. She looked up quickly and gave me a pathetic smile and kept going. Oh. no. she di'n't! Like seriously? Look, MM, I do not want to talk to you any more than you want to talk to me. But, call me crazy, when I see someone I know, I say hi. It's just a reflex, and it's the nice thing to do. 

Suspect #3: Miz Fab. Everything is fab-u-lous in her world. If you are not fabulous, you are not her friend. Period. I do not under any circumstances approach her at parties. If I have no one to talk to, I'll just stand in a corner by myself with my vodka tonic, bopping to the music and pretending I'm having the time of my life. 

Ugh, I'm getting annoyed just writing about this! How do you handle these types of situations when you're out??


  1. Great list! Oh I've so been there. I think there's another usual suspect you should add.

    Let's call her Suspect #4: Gal V.I.P.S.: Very Important Person Seeker. She seems to know EVERYONE. Oh sure, she'll talk to you for a few seconds but she's always on the look out for the bigger, better opportunity and will ditch you so fast your head will spin as soon as someone she deems more important arrives. It usually goes something like this, "How are you? How's it going?" and as you start to answer she grabs your forearm and says, "Omigawd there's fillintheblank, I've got to go say hi!"

    As I always say kill 'em with kindness and if all else fails, just enjoy the open bar.

  2. Haha, LOVE IT! My pet peeve is when someone asks me a question and doesn't even bother to wait for the answer. Maybe next time I will say something really off the wall to see if she's even listening!

    I try to use the age-old rule of "killing with kindness" but sometimes my pride gets the best of me and I just do not want deal with the rejection.

    Thanks for the fun comment! :)

  3. hahaha i love how you have these little names for them!
    i so hate these types of people and oh yeah, what about those who seem to have their own little party in the party and alienate anyone who tries to get in, even though they're really not the popular ones you'd want to rub shoulders with lol :P
    but yeah, fun post ellen ;)

  4. Ohhh yeah, THOSE people. It's like, why did you even bother coming out? What shall we call them???

  5. the exclusive wannabe in crowd? lol

  6. Sure, let's call them the E.W.I.C.s for short ;)

  7. hahaha i'm honestly really having fun with this ellen thanks ;) and i guess, it was good foster posted your blog lol

  8. I'm so glad! Yeah, Foster is a great PR guy...he's always a good person to have on your team!!