Thursday, August 27, 2009

Has anyone ever asked you if you were pregnant when you, um, weren't?

Last year I was at the movies by myself on a Sunday night—my Monday "work blues" ritual. I was so unhappy in my job that I always dreaded going back for another work week, and somehow going to the movies was the only thing that made me feel a little bit better.

So I went to the concession counter and ordered a chicken finger combo (complete with curly fries and a large Diet Coke) and Milk Duds. As you can see, I ate my feelings on Sunday nights. (This was such a bad habit; I am not proud to be admitting this right now.) A greasy chicken finger combo sounds gross to me now (well, the curly fries still sound pretty good!)—I can safely say I'll probably never order one of those again. Anyway, out of nowhere, the girl behind the counter asks, "Are you pregnant? I can't tell." OK, if you're even .5% unsure whether or not someone might have a bun in the oven, DO NOT ASK. I gruffly replied, "No."

I can kinda see why she thought I was pregnant. 1.) I was eating enough food for two, er, three people. 2.) I had on this long, flowy high-waisted American Apparel dress that gives my middle a bit of a bump-like look.

I'm recalling this story because the other day when I was waiting for the bus, I watched a pregnant-looking lady smoke two cigarettes in five minutes. I kept staring at her belly. Does she just have a fat gut or is she pregnant? I couldn't decide. It looked firm like a pregnant belly, but I'm praying for the baby's sake that the lady was just fat and carried her weight in a very unfortunate fashion.

Has anyone ever asked you if you were pregnant when you weren't? Have YOU ever asked someone else?? C'mon, someone's gotta have a funny story to share!


  1. Girl I was just in a bar in LA with a lovely rum and diet coke in my hand rocking this cute dress when the bar back says (in spanish): "Are you pregnant? You know you shouldnt be drinking." Why in the hell would I be drinking if I was prego?,+product.marketingPriority,-product.startDate&navCount=12&navAction=poppushpush&color=&pushId=W_APP_DRESSES&popId=WOMENS_APPAREL&prepushId=

  2. Diana, I LOVE this dress! Urban is the best! I'm sure you looked hot in it, so screw the bar back. Maybe it was his pathetic way to get your attention?!