Has anyone ever asked you if you were pregnant when you, um, weren't?

Last year I was at the movies by myself on a Sunday night—my Monday "work blues" ritual. I was so unhappy in my job that I always dreaded going back for another work week, and somehow going to the movies was the only thing that made me feel a little bit better.

So I went to the concession counter and ordered a chicken finger combo (complete with curly fries and a large Diet Coke) and Milk Duds. As you can see, I ate my feelings on Sunday nights. (This was such a bad habit; I am not proud to be admitting this right now.) A greasy chicken finger combo sounds gross to me now (well, the curly fries still sound pretty good!)—I can safely say I'll probably never order one of those again. Anyway, out of nowhere, the girl behind the counter asks, "Are you pregnant? I can't tell." OK, if you're even .5% unsure whether or not someone might have a bun in the oven, DO NOT ASK. I gruffly replied, "No."

I can kinda see why she thought I was pregnant. 1.) I was eating enough food for two, er, three people. 2.) I had on this long, flowy high-waisted American Apparel dress that gives my middle a bit of a bump-like look.

I'm recalling this story because the other day when I was waiting for the bus, I watched a pregnant-looking lady smoke two cigarettes in five minutes. I kept staring at her belly. Does she just have a fat gut or is she pregnant? I couldn't decide. It looked firm like a pregnant belly, but I'm praying for the baby's sake that the lady was just fat and carried her weight in a very unfortunate fashion.

Has anyone ever asked you if you were pregnant when you weren't? Have YOU ever asked someone else?? C'mon, someone's gotta have a funny story to share!

My morning commute

Public transportation in New York is always an adventure. This morning when I got on the bus a guy tried to sneak in the back door to avoid paying the fare. The bus driver caught him and called him to the front of the bus. The guy ignored the bus driver until he shouted so loud to COME UP HERE RIGHT NOW AND PAY YOUR FARE! Once he got to the front of the bus, a 3-minute yelling match ensued. Now, I'm not quite sure what his argument could have been because he didn't um, pay the fare, but he finally paid and that was that.

The guy sitting behind me was talking extremely loud on his cell and it was driving me nuts. All of a sudden I heard him say, "Dang, there is a dime PIECE on this bus!" Now, I'm usually a very unassuming person, but since the only other people on the bus at the time were two 70-something year-old Korean ladies, I had to gander that he was talking about me. He must have pretty low standards because I had hopped on the bus after a run over the Williamsburg bridge (it's just 3 miles, not as impressive as it sounds), and was looking totally gnarly. 

See what I'm talking about? It must have been the greasy, slicked back hair that got his attention. Sex-y. I wish I was one of those girls that always looked good, even when I just sweated like a pig after working out. You know the kind I'm talking about. The girls with long, thick hair that can just throw it up in a messy, but perfect, bun and call it a day. But, that's not me, and that's fine too. 

Tell me: Whether you live in NYC or have just visited, did you witness any crazy situations like this, or run into any interesting characters?