Tonight in yoga class, the 60 year-old instructor broke a little audible wind as she bent over to adjust someone in triangle pose. I felt a smirk form on my face as I looked around to see who would, at the very least, give me a smirk back to acknowledge the fact that something totally hilarious just happened. I looked left, then right—and no one, absolutely no one had skipped a beat. There wasn't one freakin' person in the room to share the moment with.
The fart wasn't loud, not loud at all. It was kind of high-pitched, like the very last fart Jeff Daniels squeaked out after his machine gun farting scene in Dumb and Dumber. (Please, people, tell me you know what I'm talking about!) It was so unavoidable that I thought the teacher would make a little joke about it, or say something about how farting was very natural and nothing to be embarrassed about or something, but no. Not a word, not a smile, nada. I don't fart out loud often, but if one happens to sneak out when I'm with my sister or a friend, I acknowledge it in some way so that the other person isn't standing there wondering what the hell just happened.
Who's with me on this? Should audible farts be acknowledged or ignored? Does anyone have any funny stories to share?!
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There's some sort of unwritten yoga rule that you have to be zen about other people's gas -- it's natural! celebrate it! -- total BS.
ReplyDeleteI revert to a giggly teenager when someone passes gas. I can't lie, when at my yoga class I try to stay far in the back so as not be gassed.
ReplyDeleteSeniors do it around me all the time. I think they actually seek me out. Maybe some secret punishment for some wrong I commited against the elderly in my past. They pretend like they didn't realize it,but inside they're laughing... I can almost hear their chuckling...
ReplyDeletei am with yates. i am a total immature kid when someone "toots" (as my mom says) or "steps on a toad" (as my babysitter growing up used to say). i don't know why, but it's so silly to me!
ReplyDeletenot sure what i would have done in class with you. other than NOT look at you for fear of falling out of my pose with riotous laughter.
if Jackass did a skit on it, it should no longer be funny. Barring some putrid smell, i say no worries.
ReplyDeleteWell, I try to pretend it wasn't me if I'm in a group. Or, if it's obvious, I say "excuse me", like at the chiropractor. So embarrassing because they are right there. When I'm with friends or family we laugh like kiddies.
ReplyDeleteOnce (again) I was on a New Age retreat and we were all standing around in a circle with our eyes closed. It was a large group of about 25 people, holding hands, which is comical to envision anyway. Fortunately, my dear friend, Amanda, was there when this happened. Out of nowhere came (from me!) the Longest, Loudest Fart Ever Heard in Public. It was one of the funniest moments of my life. I had no idea where it came from. No warning, whatsoever. No one knew it was me, and the entire group fell out laughing. When I told Amanda it was me, we practically peed our pants laughing so hard. At least I got something out the retreat--a GREAT laugh!
thanks for the compliment.....i guess?! =D
ReplyDeleteit's all mental....i dunno. i just felt fat.
hahha and re: farts...i walked by some guy next to starbucks who was talking to some old lady...and he just let a loud one RIP. and they totally just were normal!
Oh my effing gee! Its sooo refreshing to hear a woman talk about farts! A simple thing that everyone does, made to be a thing of shame and secrecy. How can this be when farts are one of the funniest, most natural things to occur amongst humans? The funniest occurance of late was hearing my male boss go to the toilets (adjacent to the female) to fart loudly and profusely. I had to hold my nose and my breath in order not to laugh out loud. This has occurred on several occasions. Each equally hilarious. That is all.
ReplyDeleteTraynharder, it was a compliment--truly! You know not to take me too seriously.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks farting is funny. Honey Mumbles, if you ever have a good farting work story to share, let me know!!
This was the funniest post ever so I think I am one of those people who will always laugh when people fart.. I am giggling just typing the word.. I love the awkwardness..
ReplyDeleteGlad I could amuse you Cincy! Some of my friends think I'm going a bit far with the fart talk, but just because you love it, I will be sure to do it again ;)
ReplyDelete