Previous to my current boyfriend, I haven't dated a lot, but I've had enough crushes and random experiences to be able to pull a story or two out of my hat from time to time. So here it goes. I've been on just one blind date, and I didn't even know I was being set up until I actually got to the date. Sounds interesting, right?
It was my first year living in New York, and I was working at two different internships as I looked for a real job. One morning, the train I needed to take to work wasn't running, so I had to hail a cab. Right as I was about to hop in, a woman comes running up behind me in her heels and asks if we can share it. Umm, sure. She said she was running late to a meeting, so I used it as a networking opportunity and asked her questions about her job. We hit it off, and before she got out of the cab, she gave me her business card and told me to contact her. So, the very next day I did. She passed my email to her assistant who she said "would be much more helpful to me." So I emailed back and forth with the assistant, Alex, all the while assuming I was corresponding with a girl. (I'm not sure why?) We agreed to meet the next week for a drink to discuss my career options. Cool, I'm gonna make things happen! I thought at the time.
As the "drink date" got closer, I started to suspect that Alex might be a guy. I don't remember what it was, but something that was exchanged in one of our emails tipped me off. Sure enough my instincts, as they usually are, were right--Alex was a dude. I instantly started to feel this "networking opportunity" turn into a date, but I tried to push that out of my mind as I asked Alex questions about the city and his job in PR.
I'm not sure whether Alex is a lightweight or if he shotgunned ten beers before I arrived, but after his second drink, he admitted that his boss set us up because she thought we would hit it off. Awkward much? And then, he proceeded to tell me how pretty I was--like at least four times--and that I couldn't let New York change me because I'm just so nice. Ok, so yes, it feels great to be told you're pretty and nice no matter who is throwing the compliments your way, but it was just so.freaking.awkward. Like, where do you go from there?
I tried changing the subject by asking him more questions about his job and where he grew up, and that's when he decided to tell me that he was at his heaviest weight he'd ever been. What the HELL do you say to that? I don't remember what I said, but I didn't take him up on his offer for another round of drinks. Or a second date.
In all fairness, Alex was a good guy and when he wasn't making me feel utterly uncomfortable, he was enjoyable to talk to. And really, he wasn't even all that hefty. I know it could have been a lot worse, but the experience totally put me off blind dates, and I never went on one again. (Not that I had the opportunity to, but that's besides the point.)
So guys and gals, spill it: Have you ever been on a blind date? How'd it go?
I had a friend set me up with a co-worker of hers who ended up being in his late 30s/early 40s and divorced, having moved to Atlanta because of a mid-life crisis (his own words). We all have our histories, but it is probably not a good idea to open with that one. We met for drinks but he had a diet coke while I enjoyed a beer. I turned down his future overtures and he said, via email, "i guess we aren't going out again?" He was not dense, at least.
ReplyDeleteI let the same friend set me up with another guy about a year later. I think she saw the small flaws with the previous set-up. This guy was my age, totally cute, a Ga Tech engineering graduate, very nice. We went on a few dates and I chalk it up as a good blind date experience. I probably would have gone on a few more dates with him, but our schedules began to get in the ways of each other AND THEN, the current BF came into the scene and kinda changed the game. I like to think that fate was giving me the confidence boost I needed through the good blind date guy to know what I deserved from the BF and going for it.
SCS
Ohh, good stories, Shannon! You're right, sometimes the experiences are just good learning tools, and yes, definitely confidence boosters!
ReplyDeletedoes it count as a blind date if you give your number to a guy and then don't remember what they look like once they call you?
ReplyDeleteHaha, I would say that counts!! Care to share that story?
ReplyDeleteAnd Flip, how can you leave us hanging like that?! What's the story??
NO I DO NOT!
ReplyDeleteactually, i think i told you at brunch that day. it was that guy was quite a bit older than me and had just come back from making the documentary on lobster miners in nicaragua. and who said wud up every 5 minutes. although he did do the cadence count with me so that is major points.
i don't think i would mind a blind date if it was in a group setting. then at least you can make eyes at your friends. one on one already makes me nervous!!
my friend kristin went on a blind date with a guy once-they met at a bar (his idea) and about an hour (and 3 beers for kristin) into the date he told her he was a recovering alcoholic. awwwwkward.
I was just answering Marry's question, never been on a blind date.
ReplyDeleteOhh, gotcha, Flip.
ReplyDeleteMA, I think the safest way go about a blind date is to have your friends set you up. It may not be a love connection, but at least you know they wouldn't set you up with a jerk. (At least I hope not!)
yes good point. i will stop taking my mom's man advice. or at least not listen to her after a solid four hours of drinking.
ReplyDelete