Monday, January 18, 2010

Bachelor Blog 2: How do you keep your confidence up in a room full of pretty girls?

I missed my Bachelor post last week, so I'm making up for it now. Christina got the boot, and it was her lack of confidence that hurt her. I don't really blame her, I mean, if I was in a house full of professional models and girls who just looked like models, I'd be intimidated too. But it's also like, c'mon pull it together, girl!

Christina's a pretty girl. I do think she is a bit lacking in the sex appeal arena (some people just don't really have it), but if she had exuded more confidence, she would have come across much sexier. Compared to Rozlyn (slut) and Gina, I'd look like the girl who's gone to fat camp every summer for the last 10 years and failed miserably, but I'd be damned if I'd actually act like the fat girl!

There are too many girls in New York who are a quadruple threat, which I just decided to call the S.S.S.P.: skinny, stylish, successful, pretty. I really haven't been to any other city with so many S.S.S.P. girls just walking the streets everywhere you turn. (From what guy friends tell me, I'd find them by the herds in Madrid, too). It can be hard to deal with sometimes, but I've learned to.

How? Well, you know how you can immediately sense when another girl is intimdiated by you or another girl in the room? (Not that I intimidate anyone, but I think the girls know what I'm talking about here). I'm forever fearful of being that girl because it's just so obvious--I don't want someone else to be able to detect my confidence drop as soon I shake their hand. I also don't want to be the girl who acts bitchy because I'm insecure. (Give it up girls, everyone knows why you're acting that way). So as soon as I meet an S.S.S.P. or anyone else that makes my insecurity levels rise, I just give myself a little pep talk. Really, I do. I say, "Ellen, be friendly, be confident, be engaging--do not let your insecurity show," and it works.

I guess it helps that I genuinely like meeting new people, so even if you are a skinny bitch, I'm not going to hold it against you. Well, not for long ;) I've also learned to be adaptive to different personalities, and to find a common denominator with anyone I'm talking to. There used to be a group of fashion girls I'd always run into and felt so intimidated by until one day I decided to actually get to know them. I've found a couple topics of conversation that I know if all else fails will always be easy and pleasant with them, so that's what I turn to when I need to. See, it's not so hard.

So girls: How do you keep your confidence up in a room full of pretty girls? And guys, how important is confidence to you in a girl?


  1. I have been faced with this a number of times and the best way for me to handle it is....HUMOR. Yep, I'laugh at my dorky self daily and especially when I'm nervous.

    Others seem to warm up easily to a person who laughs often:)

  2. I embrace my inner-nerd as well. And also compliment the beautiful ones; it is what they want/expect and gives you at least a talking point. If the give you an icy reception to the compliment, then you are still the winner.

  3. Yes, Barbara, laughing is usually a good thing. When I'm in doubt, I just SMILE!

    And yes, compliments are great icebreakers when you're feeling a little uncomfortable. Like, "Ohh I love that necklace, where'd you get it?" is usually always a winner.