Sunday, February 21, 2010

Things That Should Be Illegal

It's Monday. I'm feeling blah (don't worry, not as blah as last week!), and lazy. And I'm in a list-making mood. Here it goes:

1. To visit NYC and spend more than 10 percent of your time in Times Square.
2. Owning a pair of Crocs. I don't care if you're five or 65 years-old.
3. For guys or girls to use the c and p-word. Ever. Gross.
4. To change your FB profile pic more than once a month.
5. To stick your tongue out between your fingers for a photo op.
6. For Michelle Duggars to reproduce...again.
7. For Speidi to reproduce...ever.
8. Heidi Klum's post-baby bod.
9. For Channing Tatum, Matt Damon and (insert your fave male celeb here) to be married.
10. Snooki. Period.

11. Holly Madison's wardrobe: Ed Hardy tees, knee socks, trucker hats, ick.
12. To say "cheers" or "mate" on the regular...if you um, aren't English.
13. For 13 year-0lds who are already funnier and cooler than me to sit front row at Paris and New York Fashion Week. (Yes, Tavi, I'm talking about YOU.)
14. For someone with a BMI over 26 to be a fitness instructor.
15. To leave a shitty tip, unless it is completely and utterly deserved.
16. For a bag of chips to be filled 50 percent with air.
17. For couples to swap spit on the subway. Or any public place, for that matter.
18. For the UPS dude to leave a final notice even though he NEVER rang your buzzer once.
19. To take the elevator at the gym.
20. Kristen Stewart's hair.

Friends, what do you think of my list? What did I leave off?


  1. I have to say, I disagree with the fitness instructor thing. If you're fit and you know your stuff, why not? Now, it would be different if someone with a BMI of 26+ was calling themself a fitness instructor, yet huffing and puffing through workouts - but if you can do the work, why not teach it? I know a couple people who started their quest to fitness at 300 or more lbs, were super fit by the time they reached weights under 200lbs but hadn't finished their weightloss journey. Lots of those same types of people decide to become trainers.

  2. Oh My...I fail on a couple of these. I refuse to give up the "C" word because some people deserve it and I enjoy shock value.

  3. Hey Kim, yeah I think I am generalizing based on a couple bad experiences I've had with overweight instructors. (ie. Yes, huffing and puffing throughout the class, barely doing the moves, bringing doughnuts into the gym, etc.) I tend to be more motivated by instructors who have super-fit bods, but I also know that a lot of people like trainers with imperfect bodies because it's less intimidating.

    Ha, Barbara, don't give up the c-word on my account!

  4. What a fantastic list! Mine is to miss serving stuffing out with roast chicken or pork! I'm afraid that us Brits, can be sticklers for having the right condiments with our food! I adore your keeping it real profile, you are my kind of gal, bounce back!In answer to your question on navy tights yes they do count as colour! You have to start somewhere.Tip, navy looks great with orange, if and when your ready to take it to the next level! I have to start following you as I feel your blog is going to be a great read! Sharon xz


    As for the PDA thing - I have noticed that folks LOVE to swap spit in NYC. Like LOVE IT. Do it everywhere. It was once explained to me that people have different boundaries because of the congestion of folks, or perhaps they are shirking the puritanical ways of the W.A.S.P. down south.

    I have traveled to other "congested" places and have not seen this phenomena. Do explain, New Yorkers.


  6. I am totally cracking up!! Love the list!! My fave was #2...Croc...ack! :) Hope Monday gets better for you!! :)

  7. Shannon, are you growling at me or Kristen Stewart? Either way is totally fine :) And yeah, I have no idea what is up with New Yorkers OD'ing on the PDA. I do not have an explanation for you.

    Hi Sharon! Thanks so much! I actually second your comment...stuffing...mmm. I'm actually surprised my entire list wasn't food related! Ice cream and pizza should be illegal in an effort to keep my waistline in check. And thanks for the navy tights idea. How 'bout I try incorporating more color into my wardrobe and show you pics of my efforts? You can yay or nay them for me :)

    Thanks MYP! Crocs now come in a Converse style. Like, great, way to fug up my favorite sneaker!

  8. 12 - What if you work with all Brits, Aussies, and Germans?

  9. I was growling at Kristen Stewart...GRRRRRR.

  10. Ohh, OK, SCS, I'm growling too..grrr :)

    PK, I hate to say, I'm still not so sure it's acceptable. It's just a pet peeve of mine. If it slips out naturally, fine, but so many people do it on purpose, sometimes with a terrible accent, and it just bugs the crap out of me.

  11. Nice. So much of this is true!

    No C or P word? What if that person is being a "C" or a "P", I need to tell them! Its for their own good. (Note: I would never use the words to actually refer to a vagina, there isn't an ok time to break that out.)

  12. It is just not right how quickly Heidi bounces back into shape. Sigh.

  13. omg, i just read this (sorry i have been slacking) and i LOVE this list! doesn't writing stuff like this down make you feel so much better!?!

    christmas day a couple years ago: mom handed me a gift and could NOT stop giggling....CLEMSON CROCS. WTF. i didn't even crack a smile. she took them from to take back immediately and said she just wanted to see my reaction, but it made for a very awkward 3 minutes when i thought my mom and finally and completely lost her mind and i was going to have to find a home for her.