Friday, March 19, 2010

New York teens—the only kids on earth that skip an awkward phase

Ok, well that's not entirely true—I've seen plenty of pimple-faced punks walking the streets of Manhattan, but there is also an astonishing number of teens who look like this. 

I caught these two stylish chicks outside their field trip to the Tenement Museum. Skinny jeans, Keds, leather jackets, motorcycle boots, chic buns, over-sized shades—they literally are too cool for school! I think I'm going to add this to my Things That Should Be Illegal list: 16 year-olds that dress better than I do. 

These girls will never experience the pain and anguish of having to go on Accutane because there's not a spot on their face that isn't covered with a bright red crater oozing with puss. And I bet they'll never know the mortification of the cutest guy in school making an announcement to the class about their bleached fuzzy upper lip because their mom thought they were too young to start waxing. (I'm pretty sure Vajazzling is a rite of passage for 13 year-old Manhattanites.) And I seriously doubt they'll attend one Homecoming dance without a date. 

Right, I'm not bitter. I'd like to think my awkward phase was character-building or some such, but looking back, all I see is a period of my life I'd like to forget. Ohh and remember this post I wrote about Upper East Side teens plotting a way to find clean prostitutes in Europe? These kids scare the shit out of me!

What about you: Did you go through an awkward phase? What were your teenage years like?


  1. I didn’t go through an awkward phase, or at least I don’t think I did. Who knows what people were saying behind my back ;) But kids nowadays are far my stylish than I was in HS…even the guys are starting to dress better. I love it!

  2. uhhh let's see. zits up the wazoo and chubby bunny. TOTALLY AWKWARD how no one liked me in my high school. bleh!

  3. haha...heck no! I totally went through an awkward phase! Think skinny, braces, stringy hair...haha! It is a right of passage though...I mean really doesn't everyone NEED to go that to humble them a little?!

  4. I went through a brief not awkward phase from 26-29 does that count?

  5. I was a very shy and awkward teen and was teased by a group of "mean girls" who got me to change my hair style and manner of dress, and also got me to show them my cock on the promise that I might see their tits, ass and pussy. They never held up their end of the bargain.

  6. Did you go on Accutane? If so, please, do tell about the results!

  7. What?! No awkward phase Simply Chic? Pimples, frizzy hair, braces, NOTHING? I'm so jealous.

    Well Trayn, look who's RIPPED now! Shredded. I love it.

    True, MHP. And at least you know you have nowhere to go but UP! It would suck to peak when you're like 16.

    Yep, that counts Aly...what kind of awkward phase are we talking about here?

    Ohh Ron, you fell for the "Show me yours and I'll show you mine" trick. That suxx.

    Hi Kris! Yes, I did! Ok, so the process of Accutane kinda sucks—it makes your skin TERRIBLY dry skin, and the acne gets worse before it gets better. BUT, it's very much worth it. It's the only thing I have found to really work long-term. Are you thinking about going on it?

  8. AWKWARD stories ruled me i guess. Hope i'm not saying the same thing about now 5 years later. Ugh.

    Newly done upper lip- don't we all go through the stigma? Almost tripping on my platforms in total public eye-view, falling flat down the stairs in college.. don't want to go into more detail. PAINFUL.

    p.s. those kids can't be real, can they?

  9. I am on it! Have been for a month... so far so good amd doing better than expected. Hoping to get rid of the acne once and for all. Was yours really bad? How long has it been since you took it? Do you ever get new zits? Btw, awesome blog! Thanks for the answers. :-)

  10. once they become adults they are awkward...

  11. Yes, Warrior, they are REAL. Who knows, they might be 18, but STILL. The chick on the right was the most mature looking, but all of them had a "cool" factor in one way or the girl to the left in her Converse high-tops.

    Yes, Kris, mine was pretty bad. Mine was mostly on my forehead...ALLLL over. Not a centimeter was left uncovered! Then I'd get the one or two really deep ones on my cheeks, but it was mainly my forehead. It's been about 13 years since I was on it, and I've been pretty much TOTALLY clear. I did get a small forehead breakout the other week, but I'm attributing that to stress. It's pretty much gone now.

    And that's true, would be interesting to see how these "kids" cope once they get outside their bubble..

  12. Thanks for telling me your Accutane story! Can't wait 'til my face looks awesome. :-)