But, I know in my heart that that would make me happy for like, a week. The novelty would wear off and then I'd be dreaming of my days in NYC where I didn't know what was going to happen from one day to the next. Literally. It's stressful, but exciting. There's just something about the hustle of the city that I'm addicted to. I hate it and love it at the same time. Right now, I hate it. New York, why can't I quit you?!
On the inside, I feel like this most of the time--beaten and worn down. Exhausted. Do I have another round in me? Just when it feels like I don't, I pull another one out of my ass. Somehow. I don't know how.Hope. Ambition. Friends. Family. God. The power of change. And dreams. And believing. These are the things that keep me going when I feel like calling it quits. What about YOU?
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What keeps me going is that quitting is not an option. and faith. and acknowledging that life IS struggle. i shall now return to my mind numbing "work" at this job I despise, but i get to leave early today so i can go to a health reform discussion in dc :)
ReplyDelete*focus more on your desire than your doubt and the dream will take care of itself. Your doubts are not as powerful as your desires, unless you make them so* i have that quote taped to my daily planner. it helps. A LOT
We lead completely different lives yet I totally identify with you. I feel like quitting daily, too. Quit my 9-5, be a stay-at-home wife....sounds wonderful. BUT I keep plugging away.
ReplyDeleteI was just noting last night that I haven't achieved any of my personal goals since i graduated in January 2009. No better job, no 20lb weight loss, no hobby, no wolunteerism. What is keeping me striving toward my 5km run in May is that a girl only a few years older than me just dropped dead a week after she sent out her wedding invites. I realized if I dropped dead, I wouldn't be happy with myself over the past year. Time to step up.
Keep on truckin'. Something about the struggle just makes it so much more worth being proud of.
haliwoodsaywhat.blogspot.com
Love the quote, Nadette. So try...need to remember that the next time I have a meltdown :)
ReplyDeleteYou'll figure it out, Kim. We both will...thanks so much for your support! Let me know how the run goes!
Ellen it makes me sad that you are so sad! I think you are amazing, funny, and I feel like I have to check in everyday to see what new antics you have up your sleeve! Don't quit...one day you are going to get all the fabulous things you deserve in life and I hope you still love us enough to keep writing your blog and telling us about your exciting life! :)
ReplyDeleteEven if you "quit"...I doubt life will quit on you. Stay strong, I'm sure God will open doors for you...and meanwhile, you'll learn patience and endurance and perseverance, all necessary qualities in whatever you will do in the future. :-)
ReplyDeleteGod keeps me going too. And my family. And a lot of simple things that really makes me happy.
Aww, MHP, do I sound THAT pathetic? I'm sure I do. Thanks for the support, it means a lot. I have actually been quite sad lately. Plenty of happy moments with sad/stressful ones sprinkled in. My bf actually said he "couldn't wait until I was happy again" last night, and that really hurt me. I do my best to be positive, but sometimes I do get overwhelmed with sadness. I know it will pass though. I do, to an extent, believe that happiness is a choice. I'm going to work on it. I'm already having a better day than yesterday...feeling good!
ReplyDeleteVery true Burp and Slurp. Yes, resilience...I know well.
I know that as bad as today gets, tomorrows a new day, and THAT keeps me going. I also know that at the end of the day, when the kids are asleep, and it's oh so very quiet, I can relax and blog about it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by my blog today.
sometimes i don't want to get out of bed-life is too much sometimes-today feels like one of those days :(
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