Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Characters at the gym: Take 2

I've decided to make this a semi-regular post because people watching at the gym is pretty darn entertaining. Here are a few characters I've spotted recently:

1. Euro guy: What is it with Europeans and their workout attire? Either it's too tight, too random, too...I dunno...just wrong. The guy I noticed the other day was a Brit. (I eventually overheard him talk to a trainer, but I could tell he was English from a mile away.) He had on weird track pants that were too tight on his thighs, a short-sleeved Polo shirt (collar was not popped, thank God) and Converse-style sneaks. Oh and yes, there was gel in his hair. I saw him on a few weight machines, but I'm pretty certain not one single bead of sweat broke out on his precious little forehead. Hey, mate, hit up Footlocker and run off that beer belly next time why dontcha?!

2. And this brings me to my next character: Denim Dude. If you don't look like this hard-bodied hotness above, then you are not allowed to wear jeans to the gym, ok? The other week I saw a guy running on the treadmill who was wear jeans. JEANS! I came thisclose to trying to sneak a pic of him, but I just didn't have the heart to go through with it. But C'mon, guy. This look is not sexy. Or cool. Or even COMFORTABLE for crying out loud! I mean, that just can't be healthy for his man parts. And what about chafing? Holy cow, I'm in pain just thinking about it!

3. Kool-Aid Skinny: I see her at the gym a lot. She is ridiculously skinny and freakishly toned. The way her back muscles pop out is just not natural. From what I can tell, she does the elliptical for two hours at a time. At least. (The only reason I'm ever at the gym that long is if I do cardio before a yoga class.) She uses the same machine every single time and she always has two huge water bottles full of a mysterious red drink that looks like Kool-Aid. My guess is that it's sugar free Crystal Light, though. Something isn't right here. I think homegirl needs a little help, and I hope she gets it!

And if you missed my last gym post, check it out here. I don't know if anyone has noticed, but so far this week I haven't been posting twice a day like I usually do. Things are a bit nuts right now, but keep checking in because I will be back on track very very soon!

Tell me: What interesting characters have you spotted at the gym lately? Have you ever seen any that I mentioned?


  1. Ellen~

    Kool-aide is probably prepping for a figure show which requires the girls to be VERY lean and VERY toned, with 1-3 hours of cardio a day.

    My gym has a dude who wear jeans for SPIN! Seriously cycle in jeans? WTF?

    I'm sure people write posts like this about me too...given I wear those weird 5 finger shoes, grut when lifting heavy and do odd Crossfit workouts next to people who lift. Eh...oh well:)

  2. Really, Barbara? I suppose that makes sense, although it really just doesn't look healthy to me, but then again, what do I know!

    Ohh I've heard about those 5 finger shoes. I secretly want to be one of those fitness freaks, but I don't think it will ever happen!

  3. It's NOT healthy, I do not think doing figure shows is mentally or physically healthy BUT I almost did one and have many friends that compete. I support anyone who does those but they were NOT for this girl.

    Those 5 fingers are SO comfy!!!!!!!!

  4. I think the girls that read a book while hardly even moving on the elliptical are pretty funny...why bother?

  5. I have two that I frequently see

    1. Chick who always wears totally inappropriate workout clothes. For instance tighest possible booty shorts and a shirt that says Delicious. I might be mean but there's nothing tasty about her unless you're hungry for jello. Just sayin'.

    2. Super freak who hits the elliptical at world's speediest pace while drinking his gallon jug of prune juice. Ewww! If this isn't bad enough he always tries to strike up a convo usually about Asics. Strange one.

    I've gotten to the point where I always have my phone at the gym just in case I have to tweet about the freaks because it seems to make the time go by faster. So I'll be the freaky phone lady.

  6. I like sunglasses guy, manly girl, and dudes who say "Wazzup bra" too. LOL.

  7. Ug...jeans are nasty to sweat in.

    My favorite is Chatty Charlie that makes his rounds talking to everyone in the place while never lifting a finger. Hey Dude, how did your muscles get so jacked, even though you barely do anything? I just did a whole routine while you talked to tree different girls you don't have a chance with... I'm going home.

    I was going to guess that the girl on the elyptical for hours was getting married this year. There was a girl that worked out like mad for hours every day for months while reading bridal mags...

    I usually look like total crap, and I probably looked dazed. I'm always wearing my I-pod and designing things in my head while I work out.

  8. Ellen, I have noticed! haha, I was so happy to see a post from you!

    I was just at the gym this morning, and there was this older man who looked like he was sight-seeing: khaki shorts, green polo, (tall!) socks and walking shoes. I really don't get that. I also saw a woman who was wearing khaki PANTS, a polo and walking on the treadmill. What is up??

    I'm the weirdo who mouths along to the words on her ipod and occasionally does a little head bob to the music.

  9. Running on the treadmill in jeans? That is hilarious. I have seen people at the ski hill in jeans but this one absolutely tops that!

  10. Twice a day??? That is a grueling schedule. Muy impressivo.

    As for the gym, there was a guy you used to use the elliptical next to me at the NYSC and he would drink coffee while on the machine. The smell made me vomit in my mouth. I know I'm in the minority in that I am not a coffee person, BUT hot coffee while working out is just wrong.

  11. well i haven't been to a traditional gym in over a year, so i haven't seen too many characters lately. but i do distinctively remember the guys wearing biker shorts and lifting weights. GROSS. I do NOT want to see your man meat in ever bit of its detailing while you're grunting loudly lifting weights. and skinny kool aid chicks are usually the obessive eating disorder/body dismorphia type, and i just feel sorry for them. Now i could go on about the really large girls who come to pole dancing classes...i mean i know we're all women there, but still. if you've got many extra pounds and bumps, peaks, and valleys all over..maybe you should start with the floor routine. because i really don't care to see you struggling to twirl around a pole in your socks, lol...

  12. Yes, Runeatrepeat, it is RIDICULOUS! I actually saw Ostrich girl again yesterday and again, HARDLY MOVING. I honestly don't get it.

    Haha, Sarah, sounds like you're describing me. KIDDING. I look like a total slob at the gym at all times. There is nothing DELICIOUS about me when I'm sweating it out.

    OMG, JennyMac, "Wazzup Bra" dudes are the WORST. And you'd think they don't still exist, but oh they most certainly do.

    Haha, G-Dub...I think every gym has a Chatty Charlie. It is always a wonder how some people get so ripped when it seems like all they do is socialize!

    Ahh, Sophia...sorry if I let you down! ha
    And I totally mouth the words to songs while I'm on the treadmill too. It pumps me up when I want to quit!

    Yes, Mom, Interrupted, it was quite a sight to see. I can't imagine being on the ski slopes in jeans either. Helllo, I need more padding than that!

    MWF, I have seen this too and although I am very much a coffee person, it totally weirds me out!

    LOL, Nadette! Just...yeah...L.O.L.

  13. I had to come back because I thought of you today because the Twins were working out together today. From treadmill to elliptical to bike. Weird.

  14. Haha, Sarah, I just saw this! My sister and I do EVERYTHING together, but we've never worked out side by side...that would just be weird.