Characters at the Gym: Take 3

Happy Tuesday, guys! I was in a fluster earlier dealing with a tax payment issue (arrrghh!), but luckily I saw a few characters at the gym this am who provided me with some bloggin' inspiration. Phew! Here's who I spotted:

1. Xena Chin-Boob Warrior Princess: Homegirl is JACKED and wears two sports bras to support her DD breasts, which are pushed up to her chin and hit her in the face every time she jumps up and down. Which is a lot. Her workouts seem pretty hardcore, just like her. Sometimes I catch myself staring and trying to memorize the moves her trainer is teaching her. (Does anyone remember the episode from Will & Grace when Debra Messing does this? It's hilarious!)


2. Elliptical dude. Every time I see him, he is either on the elliptical pretending to exercise or WALKING on the treadmill. Man UP, guy. It's summertime. Which means no shirt on the beach time. Which means it would be in your best interest to RUN off that beer gut you've been rocking for better part of your adult life if you plan on getting laid at all...or ever, that is.

3. Show-me-yours-and-I-won't-show-you-mine yoga teacher. So today we had a sub and she totally sucked ASS. She walked around sipping on her small coffee for like half the class (isn't it ice cold at that point?) and talked us through most of the poses. And when she decided to demonstrate something, she was just terrible. Her heels were like three inches from the floor in downward facing dog, and she barely bent her knees for chair pose and Warrior I and II. Umm yeah it burns...that's kind of the POINT.

Tell me: Have you encountered any of the characters at the gym? Who have you seen lately??

Characters at the gym: Take 2

I've decided to make this a semi-regular post because people watching at the gym is pretty darn entertaining. Here are a few characters I've spotted recently:

1. Euro guy: What is it with Europeans and their workout attire? Either it's too tight, too random, too...I dunno...just wrong. The guy I noticed the other day was a Brit. (I eventually overheard him talk to a trainer, but I could tell he was English from a mile away.) He had on weird track pants that were too tight on his thighs, a short-sleeved Polo shirt (collar was not popped, thank God) and Converse-style sneaks. Oh and yes, there was gel in his hair. I saw him on a few weight machines, but I'm pretty certain not one single bead of sweat broke out on his precious little forehead. Hey, mate, hit up Footlocker and run off that beer belly next time why dontcha?!

2. And this brings me to my next character: Denim Dude. If you don't look like this hard-bodied hotness above, then you are not allowed to wear jeans to the gym, ok? The other week I saw a guy running on the treadmill who was wear jeans. JEANS! I came thisclose to trying to sneak a pic of him, but I just didn't have the heart to go through with it. But C'mon, guy. This look is not sexy. Or cool. Or even COMFORTABLE for crying out loud! I mean, that just can't be healthy for his man parts. And what about chafing? Holy cow, I'm in pain just thinking about it!

3. Kool-Aid Skinny: I see her at the gym a lot. She is ridiculously skinny and freakishly toned. The way her back muscles pop out is just not natural. From what I can tell, she does the elliptical for two hours at a time. At least. (The only reason I'm ever at the gym that long is if I do cardio before a yoga class.) She uses the same machine every single time and she always has two huge water bottles full of a mysterious red drink that looks like Kool-Aid. My guess is that it's sugar free Crystal Light, though. Something isn't right here. I think homegirl needs a little help, and I hope she gets it!

And if you missed my last gym post, check it out here. I don't know if anyone has noticed, but so far this week I haven't been posting twice a day like I usually do. Things are a bit nuts right now, but keep checking in because I will be back on track very very soon!

Tell me: What interesting characters have you spotted at the gym lately? Have you ever seen any that I mentioned?