Have you had a money meltdown recently?

I live in an insanely expensive city and work in an industry that pays peanuts, so there hasn't been a time in the last five years that I haven't stressed about money. Since I lost my job, living paycheck to paycheck has taken on a new meaning. Freelancing full-time has the potential to be very lucrative, but I'm not at a point yet where I have consistent cash flow rolling in. 

In addition to mani/pedis, I've had to cut back on so many things like shopping, meeting friends for dinner and going to the movies (my most favorite thing in the entire world). I still get my daily grande skim latte from Starbucks, but since my checking account has reached an all-time low, I will most likely have to ditch that too. I'm seriously getting sad just thinking about it. 

I had a ridiculously fun weekend (pics from the bachelorette party will be up tomorrow!), minus my meltdown Saturday afternoon. My friends wanted to go shopping, so we hit up a bunch of boutiques in Soho. I knew it would be tough sitting on the sidelines while everyone else made their purchases, but I handled it just fine...UNTIL I came across a super-cute shorts romper on sale at Nanette Lepore. I have never wanted something that badly in a really long time. I considered charging it on my credit card, but I knew that wasn't really an option. When I walked out of the store empty-handed my eyes started welling up with tears. "Are you crying?" Liza asked. We let the group walk ahead and I totally lost it. "I wear the same shit every week. I've only bought two new cheap pieces this whole summer. I haven't had a manicure in over 70 days. I can hardly afford groceries. I can't doooo this anymore," I said in between sobs. 

I know you're probably thinking, "Oh, poor girl, can't go shopping. Boo woo." I don't throw pity parties for myself often; I know things could be so much worse. However, it is incredibly hard living in Manhattan and not being able to buy things and keep up with everyone else. 

I couldn't pull it together, so I left the group without saying bye and headed to Luke's apartment to relax for a bit. I had absolutely nothing to wear that night for the bachelorette party, so I decided to stop by American Apparel to find a basic dress that I could spice up with a belt or piece of jewelry I already had. I grabbed a light blue button down shirt dress (even though I knew it wasn't right for the occasion), but right when I got to the dressing rooms, I turned around and put the dress back on the rack. I knew the purchase would leave me feeling unsatisfied and even more depressed. 

I passed a gelato store on my way back and got a small cup of peanut butter. 

I didn't feel guilty about the indulgence because the serving was pretty small. Emotional eating is something I need to work on, but it only set me back $4.68 and it actually did lift my spirits a bit. I figured that was better than having shopper's remorse. 

Am I alone here? Has anyone else had a money meltdown recently? Do share!

Have you ever borrowed money from a friend?

I mean, like more than $10. When I lost my job, a few friends offered to lend me money and reassured, "Seriously, dude, no weirdness." I appreciatively declined. Honestly, I would feel weird about borrowing money from a pal. It's a pride thing, and honestly, the amount of time it would take me to pay them back would be down right embarrassing. I'd rather eat every meal off the dollar menu at McDonald's for months before I even went there. (Wait a minute, that kind of sounds delicious. I can't even remember the last time I made a trip to the Golden Arches!) Great, now I'm daydreaming about Oreo McFlurries and crispy chicken wraps. I digress.

Oh and remember this post from the other week when I had a full-on-FML-meltdown? Apparently it caused quite a bit of concern for my friends (sorry, didn't mean to freak anyone out!), and once again I was offered money and "anything else I needed." Anything? Really? I wouldn't even know where to start! The only person I feel comfortable borrowing money from is my boyfriend. And even then, I have to ask him in an email because I'm too embarrassed to actually say the words. Sigh. One day...Imma make it RAIN! Rick Ross style ;)

What about you: Have you ever borrowed money from a friend? Or vice-versa? Was it awkward?

Are you in denial about the season change?

I sure as heck am. I looked on Weather.com this morning, and even though it said the temps would be in the mid-50s, I chose to wear this:

As soon as I stepped out the door, I instantly regretted my outfit choice. There was not one person that was dressed like me. Not one. Everyone else was at least wearing pants and long-sleeve shirts or long(er) skirts with jean jackets. And I'm not just being paranoid here, but I'm pretty sure everyone in Manhattan noticed how underdressed for the weather I was. It's crazy how I could walk down the street with a purple mohawk and no one would bat an eyelash—but wear a short dress and sandals in the middle of fall and everyone's head is turning.  My American Apparel shirt dress looked a lot more like a shirt than a dress, so I really can't say I blame anyone for staring.

And if this neon toenail polish isn't a sign of season-change denial, I don't know what is. Besides the fact that I was freezing, the other thing that really sucked is that my short hemline was an open invitation for construction workers and random dudes to hollar at a sister. No thank you.

 

On the bright side, it was better than the time I got hit on for the sweatshirt I was wearing. Click here to see that story.

And, the dress I'm wearing is the American Apparel dress I grabbed, but then put back on the rack earlier this summer. Read about my shopping money meltdown here.

Who else is in denial about the dropping temps? How are you coping? Ahhh, I'm not ready to bust out the winter clothes yet!!!

It's Luke's birthday and I'm the one getting presents!!!

Yesterday when I was at Luke's apartment, I saw this tucked away in a corner:

 He went to ZARA without me?! was my first thought. "Get anything good?" I asked in an unconvincing upbeat tone. "Yeah, just a shirt—take a look and let me know what you think," he said. As I opened the bag,  my eyes turned into saucers, my heart started beating faster...I was staring down at this:

It's the shoes. The shoes I told you about on Saturday that I absolutely must have this fall, but mostly likely wouldn't be able to get. Can you believe it? Today is Luke's birthday and I'm the one getting presents. I seriously almost started crying as I was staring at the shoes and thinking about the dinky $25.99 present I got him. The next time I have a full on meltdown because I haven't had a manicure in 90 days (but who's counting?), or can't go shopping with my friends, please, someone slap me across the face and remind me of this moment. Slap me hard.

Unfortunately, I just don't have the money to buy him anything else for his birthday. So in an attempt to start his day off a little more special than usual, I pulled my groceries together and made him this for breakfast:

I know it doesn't look like anything special, but Luke usually gets a large fruit salad every day for breakfast, so at least this was something different. (Plus, fruit leaves you hungry an hour after you eat it—he really should have a heartier breakfast anyway!) This is half of a toasted whole wheat bagel with scrambled eggs (one egg white, one regular) and nonfat cheddar cheese. Add a little pepper and you have a tasty, healthy and easy breakfast! I don't normally love nonfat cheese, but for some reason when it's a little melted, it tastes so much better. 

Anyway, I'm really looking forward to celebrating Luke's birthday tonight. I think I'll wear my new shoes. Hmm, now I just need to figure out what to wear them with!

Primpin' ain't easy

Today I'm going over to my photog friend, Dan's apartment so he can snap a few pics of me for my new website. What? New website? That's right—FnF is getting a makeover! (Can you handle it?!) Of course in a perfect world, I'd have the money to buy a few new pieces and get my hair blown out for my mini photo shoot, but that is just not my reality right now. So, I'm using the resources I do have to help make me look as fab as possible. Liza was nice enough to do my makeup before she left for work, and Jenn will be on hand to take care of my styling. And Dan is a kick ass photographer who can make anyone look gorge, so I'm feeling pretty good.

Like my bathrobe porn star pic? Oh yeah, it's hottt. So I had a minor meltdown this morning about my hair. Lately it's been greasy when I wash and blow it dry, and I have no idea why. I thought today would be different because it needed to be, but nope! You know how you keep doing the same thing over and over, but still expect a different result? Yeah, well, I should have known better. After I blew my hair dry thoroughly, it still looked like a grease monkey, and that's when the waterworks began. (It was not pretty). Luckily, Liza came to my rescue.

Batiste Blush dry shampoo saved.my.LIFE! Liza sprayed it all over my roots, and it looked SO much better. Amaaazing. After I take out my velcro rollers, I'll be good to go!

Yikes, now I gotta prepare for what I want my pics to look like! Ideas anyone? Jenn keeps emailing me asking if I have all these accessories and pieces of clothing, and I'm like, umm...no, no and no. Ahh well, we will pull it together. It's going to be funny—I don't think Dan knows how seriously we're taking this! 

Remember this "Walk of Shame" shoot I did for Glamour? That was crazy! I think I'll skip the hot dog, bird's nest hair and runny mascara this time. (Hmm, or maybe not?) If you could do your own mini professional photo shoot, what would it be like? I asked Channing to be in mine, but he never called me back. Call me, babe. XOXO