Things That Should Be Illegal: Take 2

Ranting, list-making, let's do THIS! Things that should be illegal:

1. Rapping on the subway. "You're all up in my face, such a disgrace, I ain't got this kinda time to WASTE. Yeah...Uh..." You are not Eminem. Or Jigga, or Weezy or Rick or 50. And flow that rhymes? It's wiggity wiggity WHACK, yo!

2. Not picking up your dog's shit. Oh wait, that IS illegal. (Um, right?) Hey guy in 5D, you owe New York City about $5,000. And since my tennis shoes have your pooch's poo all over them, I'll take a new pair of New Balances sneaks. Size 7.5, pleaze.

3. Coming into a clothing store 60 seconds before closing. And browsing like you have no idea what time it is. Chick, it's 7:59 on a Monday night. Is it necessary to make a mess of all the jeans/scarves/T-shirts I just neatly folded? This seriously should be illegal. I will personally handcuff the next person who does this to me.

4. WHAT HAPPENED?! Ok, so if you don't live in New York or New Jersey, you might not know what I'm talking about. Lucky you. There are actually people who say "What happened?" or, more times than not, "Wha happenin'?" when they didn't hear something you said. So instead of saying, "Pardon?" or "Come again?" or "What did you say?" it's WHAT HAPPENED?

5. Waiting more than four minutes in line at Starbucks. Repeat after me: Grande.skim.latte. Grandeskimlatte, Grandeskimlatte—same drink, different day. Get it right and make it speedy.

6. Snooki. I said it once, and upon seeing this pic, I just had to say it again. Head to toe, that shit should be illegal.

7. Calling something "little guy." Like, when you're not referring to a boy under the age of ten. Necklaces are not little guys. Neither are muffins.

8. Kim Kardashian's ass. But that's only because I'm jealous.

9. Calling someone you've known less than a month by their nickname. This drives me NUTS. I take nicknames seriously. You should be supa dupa close to someone before you go calling them a name their childhood besties gave them. It was at least six months before I was comfortable enough to call one of my best guy friends from high school by his. (Hi, Bull!)

10. Umm, I dunno. I'm all outta juice. You tell me. What else should be illegal? If you missed my first TTSBI post, peep it here!