In New York, if you're fashionable and skinny, you've got it made. If you are those two things, people will tell you all day, every day just how chic and fabulous and SKINNY you are. Seriously. Oh, and good hair helps, too. Honestly, it doesn't even matter if your mug is fug.
I don't know, some Manhattanites might disagree with me, but this is the impression I get at every party or event I go to. The girl with the pretty face is not the one being told just how amaaazing she is. And I guess I'm mainly talking about the fashion crowd. My sister and some of my best friends in the city are in the fashion industry, so I kinda fell into this circle by default. (Well, I'm the girl on the outside of the circle peeking in). Going to cool parties can be a lot of fun, but honestly I'm starting to question if it is even worth it—it's certainly not doing good things for my self-esteem.
Olivia Palermo from The City is stylish, skinny and gorgeous. And she has a beautiful mane. Bitch. I think she's incredibly insecure, though. I saw her at the charity party I wrote about in this post where I got my infamous red bag, and she didn't seem confident at all. She kept trying to join in on other people's conversations, but no one really wanted to talk to her—it was totally awkward. Hmm, I guess even the fashionably elite have their issues.
Sadly, all of this superficial bullshit has rubbed off on me. I'm never happy with my weight, my hair or what I'm wearing. I guess it doesn't help that I can't even afford a haircut and that my D.I.Y. manicure looks like a six year-old did it. I need to find a way to be the best version of myself I can be with the resources I've got right now. I can't keep waiting and waiting for things to get better because even when I do have the money to buy new clothes and go grocery shopping at Whole Foods, I'll have a new set of issues.
Does anyone else feel this way? Do your surroundings or the media have an impact on the way you feel about yourself?
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