Topic of concern for teens on the Upper East Side: Finding a clean prostitute

Hol-y freakin' COW is all I really have to say right now. Ok, so I have a bit more to say than that. You know how I told you in this post that I'm scanning family photos for a woman on the UES for extra cash? (Yes, that's right—I can now add "professional photo scanner" to my resume, right next to babysitter and Craigslist surfer!). Well today her 17 year-old daughter was home from school—apparently the MLK holiday was extended—and she had some guy friends over. 

I had a lot of guy friends in high school. We drank beer, listened to rap music and watched MTV together as I listened to them make fun of slutty or annoying girls, and go on and on about the hot ones. And occasionally someone would turn on a porno unexpectedly just to torture me. To me, that's pretty standard teenage shit. What we didn't do was make plans for a senior trip all over Europe and contemplate how we were going to find clean prostitutes in Amsterdam. This is the sort of conversation I was forced to listen to for over an hour today amongst a group of Uptown kids. Yes, you are still kids.

There was much talk of getting f***ed up and hooked up in one sense or another. And the way they so casually talked about flitting from one country to the next totally boggled my mind. The girl in the group wanted to go to Paris, but the boys talked her out of it by saying that the clubs weren't fun enough. Now, none of them have actually been to Paris, but that didn't really matter—they were the authority on EVERYTHING. 

I just sat there at the computer scanning my photos and praying to God that they wouldn't ask my opinion on anything. They didn't. I don't know why their conversation was making me feel so uneasy, but I had the same unsettling feeling even long after I left. I'm sure down deep they are good kids, but their maturity totally bugged me out. Big time. They did pronounce several things wrong, like Ibiza and the Louvre. I had the urge to correct them to prove that the pathetic 29 year-old photo scanner girl actually knows a thing or two, but I kept my yapper shut. I think that was a good call.  And yes, there really was talk about finding "clean prostitutes," but at that point I was feeling so bajiggity, I couldn't concentrate on another word that was said. I'm sure it was a joke (at least that's what I'm telling myself), but still! 

I suppose when you're already hitting the club scene at the age of 17, going to Kid Cudi shows and checking out Georgia O'Keefe exhibits on the weekend, you really can't help but to be mature beyond your years. But um, yeah...this experience pretty much terminated any thoughts I've ever had of raising a family in Manhattan one day. I just do not need that type of stress in my life!

I know it's not just in Manhattan—kids today are just more mature in general. Does this ever freak you out about having your own kids one day? And for anyone who is already a parent, how do you deal?!