I'm a friendly person by nature, but I think New York has significantly reduced my desire to be chatty with strangers. When I'm in a cab, getting my nails done, or picking up my laundry, I just want to be left alone. Sometimes I'll joke with the guys at the convenient mart down the street (they've seen me at my finest—grabbing as many bags of chips as I can carry at 3am), but generally I don't want any part in chit chat. My weekend plans are none of your business, and no, I don't know whether or not it's supposed to rain tomorrow. Sorry.
So you can imagine my horror when the girl next to me at the grocery store the other day started loudly proclaiming that she REALLY DIDN'T NEED TO BE EATING the Edy's ice cream she put in her cart. As I intently searched for my favorite Weight Watchers bars, hoping she'd just go away, I heard, "I gained 20 pounds, and I'm the heaviest I've ever been. I've never been so...FAT! I really shouldn't be buying this." I sheepishly looked over, and sure enough she was staring right at me. Right, my turn. "Ohh...um...really?" That is all the encouragement she needed. The next five minutes were a bit of a blur, but this is what I learned about my new friend:
She broke off her engagement four months ago, and has been sitting on her couch eating takeout ever since. She loved the guy...truly, but he was too much of a "fucking crack addict" to have a future with. She's done with drugs. Well, for the most part. The next guy that came along hit her. She punched him in the nose. And broke it. Peace! This weekend she's having a sexy rendezvous in Philly with her high school sweetheart. But OMG, what should she wear?! Absolutely nothing FITS! More fat talk. And some more. There was also something in there about wanting to lose weight so she can go back to not wearing a bra. And other shit I can't recall. I told her good luck as I made my way over to the cereal aisle.
Ohh and check out this chick's TMI story. It's pretty damn funny! On the same note, remember this post I did about yoga class and farting? Classic.
Umm yeah, that was a bit invasive. Poor girl, though, I think she really needed someone's ear. Tell me: Has anyone ever gone TMI-crazy on you? What did you do?
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