Things That Should Be Illegal

It's Monday. I'm feeling blah (don't worry, not as blah as last week!), and lazy. And I'm in a list-making mood. Here it goes:

1. To visit NYC and spend more than 10 percent of your time in Times Square.
2. Owning a pair of Crocs. I don't care if you're five or 65 years-old.

3. For guys or girls to use the c and p-word. Ever. Gross.

4. To change your FB profile pic more than once a month.

5. To stick your tongue out between your fingers for a photo op.

6. For Michelle Duggars to reproduce...again.
7. For Speidi to reproduce...ever.
8. Heidi Klum's post-baby bod.

9. For Channing Tatum, Matt Damon and (insert your fave male celeb here) to be married.

10. Snooki. Period.

11. Holly Madison's wardrobe: Ed Hardy tees, knee socks, trucker hats, ick.

12. To say "cheers" or "mate" on the regular...if you um, aren't English.

13. For 13 year-0lds who are already funnier and cooler than me to sit front row at Paris and New York Fashion Week. (Yes, Tavi, I'm talking about YOU.)
14. For someone with a BMI over 26 to be a fitness instructor.
15. To leave a shitty tip, unless it is completely and utterly deserved.
16. For a bag of chips to be filled 50 percent with air.
17. For couples to swap spit on the subway. Or any public place, for that matter.
18. For the UPS dude to leave a final notice even though he NEVER rang your buzzer once.
19. To take the elevator at the gym.
20. Kristen Stewart's hair.

Friends, what do you think of my list? What did I leave off?