firednfabulous

Just a friendly reminder...

2010-07-19T11:18:00.000-07:00

Have you seen FnF's new home yet?! What are you waiting for? Get going! Click HERE. And update those RSS feeds while you're at it. Tie a string on your finger, put a Post-It note on your head, tattoo a reminder on your arm...do what you gotta do to get the job DONE!

Love you long time. xoxo, ELLEN

Check it check it OUTTTT!

2010-06-09T18:00:00.000-07:00

CLICK HERE: WWW.FIREDNFABULOUS.COM (!!!!)

I'VE MOVED!

2010-06-09T10:30:00.000-07:00

Don't worry, I'm not going far. Fired 'n' Fabulous has a new home, that's all. Check it out HERE! So update your URLs, and keep hittin' me with some blog L-O-V-E!

P.S. My first NYC moving experience looked scarily similar to this pic, only a hippie van that reeked of pot was involved. But this blog transition will be MUCH smoother—can't wait to see you on the new site!

xoxo

Ellen

Characters at the Gym: Take 3

2010-06-08T09:00:00.000-07:00

Happy Tuesday, guys! I was in a fluster earlier dealing with a tax payment issue (arrrghh!), but luckily I saw a few characters at the gym this am who provided me with some bloggin' inspiration. Phew! Here's who I spotted:

1. Xena Chin-Boob Warrior Princess: Homegirl is JACKED and wears two sports bras to support her DD breasts, which are pushed up to her chin and hit her in the face every time she jumps up and down. Which is a lot. Her workouts seem pretty hardcore, just like her. Sometimes I catch myself staring and trying to memorize the moves her trainer is teaching her. (Does anyone remember the episode from Will & Grace when Debra Messing does this? It's hilarious!)

2. Elliptical dude. Every time I see him, he is either on the elliptical pretending to exercise or WALKING on the treadmill. Man UP, guy. It's summertime. Which means no shirt on the beach time. Which means it would be in your best interest to RUN off that beer gut you've been rocking for better part of your adult life if you plan on getting laid at all...or ever, that is.

3. Show-me-yours-and-I-won't-show-you-mine yoga teacher. So today we had a sub and she totally sucked ASS. She walked around sipping on her small coffee for like half the class (isn't it ice cold at that point?) and talked us through most of the poses. And when she decided to demonstrate something, she was just terrible. Her heels were like three inches from the floor in downward facing dog, and she barely bent her knees for chair pose and Warrior I and II. Umm yeah it burns...that's kind of the POINT.

Tell me: Have you encountered any of the characters at the gym? Who have you seen lately??

What kind of candy makes you feel like a kid again?

2010-06-07T12:00:00.000-07:00

My boyfriend doesn't get a chance to make it back to London often, so whenever I see something in New York that reminds him a little bit of home, I get waaay excited about it. Take this English candy for example. I spotted it yesterday at Java Joe, the cutest little coffe/tea shop in Park Slope, and insisted that we buy some. (OK, so maybe part of me just wanted an excuse to eat candy, but that's besides the point.)

Doesn't it look kinda funny? Yummy nonetheless. Ohh and on the back of one of the packages there is a little reminder to go to the dentist, which is just pretty ironic since English people aren't exactly known for their pretty chompers! (Sorry hun!)

The licorice was my fave. And look how cute it is!

So in this post I wrote the food diary of my life, and my candy diary would look something like this:

Three Musketeers: Remember this Halloween costume? We were pretty much forced to like this candy from a young age. I actually like it more as an adult 'cause it's chewy and low in calories!

Mini Reeses Cups: These make me think of my obsessive/psychotic/totally unhealthy crush I had on my friend Ross all through elementary school. Every Friday after school a group of girls and boys would walk to Wheeler's to get candy (on opposite sides of the street, of course.) I always got a handful of my favorite chocolate/PB treat as I plotted ways to flirt with R. I'm sure I looked totally hottt with brown sticky stuff smeared all over my mouth!

Sour Patch Kids and Fireballs: At 10 years-old the biggest way I could think to rebel a little was with candy. Pretty crazy huh? So I'd stuff as many SPK and Fireballs into my mouth as I could stand. When I got bored with that, I moved on to...

Big-as-your-fist jawbreakers: I got these after swim meets at Cracker Barrel, and I'd lick them so hard and fast that my tongue would start bleeding, which obviously I thought was way rad.

Twizzlers and Peppermint Patties: In high school my pal Lalla and I ate these like nobody's business. No.body's.BUSINESS. It's pretty much all we ate, except for the ~~days~~ hours when we decided we were following the Cabbage Soup or Atkins diet.

Candy corn "Autumn Mix": So now as an adult, I get ridiculously excited for this bag of sugar crack that hits drugstores for about a month or two every fall. I just love biting off the tops of the pumpkins--someone else does this, I just KNOW it!

Tell me friends: What would your candy diary be? What kinds make you feel like a kid again?

Jobs that pay the bills vs. Jobs you're passionate about

2010-06-07T06:00:00.000-07:00

The jobs I do only for the sake of having money to pay rent and bills are: My PT-job, babysitting, fashion closet biotch, styling assistant biotch and odd jobs like this. Sometimes the fashion work enters into the jobs-I-enjoy category because it gives me the opportunity to network and meet interesting people, which of course is always a bonus.

The two jobs I'm most passionate about are reporting (celebs, real-life people, experts, anyone) and blogging. I get paid for all of my reporting jobs, so if I could just get more consistent work, I'd be good to GO. But as we know, I don't get paid to blog, which for now is fine because I truly do love it. I'm not going to lose hope (at least not yet!) that one day I will make a little cheese blogging, whether it's for myself or another publication. I just love how it allows me to write in a personal, informal voice--it really gives me a unique sense of satisfaction. Honestly, I never thought I'd like blogging this much when I first started--now I'm addicted!

But when do I just cut the bullshit and start getting REAL? Sure, doing work that adds color to your life is important, but sometimes I wonder if what I'm chasing after is even worth it. Should I focus less on the dream and more on finding a FT j-o-b? I just don't know.

And isn't it interesting that people seem to be more obsessed than ever to find a job they are passionate about? What happened to just putting your nose down and working hard at something? I guess it's people like ME who have totally messed up that idea!

Tell me: What are your thoughts on this subject--Is finding a job you love overrated? Are you passionate about your work?

NYC Marketing Tactics at Its Finest

2010-06-06T08:15:00.000-07:00

Friday night my bf and I planned to try a new Mexican restaurant on the Lower East Side, Casa Mezcal, but since they aren't serving their full dinner menu until later in the month, we decided to wait and go somewhere else. (Sidenote: There are enough Mexican restaurants on the LES as it is. Someone should open a new Italian restaurant in that 'hood and see what happens. Money maker fo' sho'!)

So we strolled around and came across Los Feliz, the place I had my 29th b-day party :) This was the last time I had eaten there, and even though I was so-so about the ceviche, we decided to give it another try.

This sign was the deciding factor--it definitely got my attention! I hadn't had anything to eat since lunch (I usually always have a late afternoon snack), so I totally chowed down on the chips and guac--it was so yummy. Thank goodness the entrees were small!

I got the chicken quesadillas. Purty, huh?

Bf got the chorizo con rajas tacos. I don't know what that green/orange concoction is. I'm surprised he didn't try it actually--he's much more adventurous with food than I am!

And when we left, I noticed the other side of the sign. Nice. The next time Dina Lohan gives me the "Everyone's picking on Lindsay/She just wants to work" speech (and she has), I will laugh in her face. Oh fine, no I won't. I'll probably just get her talking about dating and STDs again.

Isn't it funny how a simple as a sign can make you want to try something? (Ohh and remember this one I saw in Chinatown?!) Have you ever tried a restaurant or bought something totally random based on the marketing/advertising for it?

What motivates you to get your ass outta bed to workout?

2010-06-05T15:00:00.000-07:00

I went through a period where the only thing that motivated me to get out of bed at 6am (sometimes earlier! eek) to workout was FOOD. If I get up, then I can EAT. So I'd sluggishly walk to the kitchen for handfuls of Kashi Go Lean cereal, spoonfuls of peanut butter and anything else that looked good. OK, so this was a problem for a couple reasons. Even though I had already eaten more than a sufficient amount of calories for breakfast pre-workout, I'd still want to sit down for my real meal afterwards. (Double the calories, double the tummy rolls. No thank you!) And of course this little snacking habit was not economical; I can't even remember the last time I bought Kashi cereal--that shit is EXPENSIVE. But, I think I have found a solution to this problem.

So you know when your alarm goes off, but you're so tired that you think that beeping noise is just in your dreams? Well that happened to me on Friday at 5:30am. I seriously could not figure out for the life of me where the noise was coming from--all I knew is that I wanted it to stop. After what seemed like ten minutes later, I finally snapped out of it and turned off my alarm. My head felt cloudy (no I was not hungover) and my whole body was just exhausted, but since I hadn't exercised much all week, I knew I needed to do something.

And something I did. I told myself I'd just go for a walk and see what happens, in the hopes that I'd eventually start running. Well I took off down Fifth Avenue and ten blocks later I was still walking. Another ten blocks, walking. I just didn't have it in me to run. Sometimes you just gotta push through and DO IT, but my body seriously felt incapable of any sort of strenuous activity. I always kinda thought it was BS when yoga teachers said to "listen to your body" and rest when you need it--I mean, who really wants hold a side plank or full wheel for 60 seconds? (Acutally, I'm kind of the bomb at both poses, but you know what I mean.) But, I think there's something to that--you need to know what to push yourself and when to back off.

So now I've learned that it doesn't have to be all or nothing when it comes to working out. I just need to get my ass UP, and taking the pressure off myself to go balls to the wall (yes I said it) every time I lace up my sneakers will help me do just that. And actually, I think the walk on Friday was just what I needed because my run this am was awesome! (Hello sweaty Ellen! Well, that pic is a helluva lot better than this one. Whoa.)

So tell me: What motivates you to get outta bed to workout when you're really not feeling it? Any tips or tricks to share?

Photo Shoot Friday: Keepin' it Sexzy in Southampton

2010-06-04T13:45:00.000-07:00

Oh.my.LAWD you guys--I'm so sorry for the delay! I'm working at the Women's Health office today helping the fashion gals prep for a shoot and we have been going nonstop. (Summer Fridays WHAT?!) And yeah, I fell asleep on the couch at 10pm last night, which explains my poor planning. Ugh! So here's the deal--I wanna get the heck up on outta here, so I'm going to do today's PSF captions in five words or less. Cool?

You already know that my Southampton vacay started with a super-sexy grocery store stop. THEN, we headed to our cute French-style cottage.

How adorbs is this?

Backyard bliss

Collis girls man the grill

Trying 2 B healthy

Michelle's super-yummy deviled eggs

Tiff's infamous strawberry salad

Girl-on-girl CORN PORN

Rocky+Sophie= Pooch babies?

Cheap vodka=High school flashback

S'mores all day every day

WILL BIKE 4 BEER!

Beach time!

Nice ass, coordinating suits FAIL

GRAPE PORN!

Dinner.Boathouse.East Hampton

Pretty shiny hair Tiff

TROUBLE

Watermelon PORN

Bling bling--Congrats, Linds!

1,2,3 SOBER FACE!

4,5,6 SERIOUS FACE!

SHOTS!!!

BOTTOMS UP!

So, are we thinking this is the best PSF yet? Heck yeah it is! I wanna go baaaack! When's the last time you went on a trip with the girlz/boyz?

I'M GREAT! I CAN DO ANYTHING GOOD.

2010-06-03T18:30:00.000-07:00

Holy cow, this chick is awesome. These daily affirmations must do wonders for her self-esteem. Among the things she LIKES:

School.Dog.Cousins.Aunts.Mom.Sisters.Hair.Haircuts.PJs.MY STUFF.Myhouse.

It's nice to remind yourself of all your blessings—big and small. Mine:

BIG: Family, Friends, BF, Health

SMALL: Extra-hot lattes, FREE soup, Ice cream, Hangovers sans headaches, Air conditioners that WORK, mani/pedis, Ethan Hawke, Matt Damon, $5 Footlongs.

Oh, and MY STUFF. Duh. And don't you just love that over half my list is food-related? Yep, sounds about right.

Tell me: What are you grateful for?

Teen Hobags

2010-06-03T08:00:00.000-07:00

Hobag. Wow, I haven't said that word in years! It's kinda funny...hobag. An.Y.way. When I read this article yesterday that stated more than 40 percent of U.S. teens are doing the dirty dirty, I wanted to vomit. But, I can't say that I'm surprised.

With role models like Miley Cyrus out there, how's a young girl to know that putting half-naked pics all over the internet really is NOT OK? (Miley, I love you, but c'mon girl.) I'll tell you how: Mothers. This is where YOU step in. Instead of encouraging your daughters to have boyfriends at the age of 11 (no, it's not cute), put the smack down on them when they want to call boys and go on movie dates like my mom did. (Sure, every guy in middle school through college thought I was a prude, but that's better than the alternative.)

Actually, the other day at the grocery store, I witnessed a mom showing her six(ish)-year old daughter how to send a text message. Ewww, she's going to be sexting by the time she's nine—what the crap lady?! This is how it starts! And she was singing along to "I Kissed a Girl." OK, so I didn't have my first lesbian fantasy until just last year—this girl is going to be way ahead of me. I suppose most young girls are these days. Sad.

Tell me: Does it surprise you that almost half of teens today are gettin' busy? What rules did your parents give you when you were younger? I loved the "No watching Dirty Dancing" rule—we always found ways to watch it at sleepovers!

The Humpy Dance is your chance, do the HUMP!

2010-06-02T15:30:00.000-07:00

Well, that little ditty would be totally random if it wasn't in fact HUMP DAY. (Gotta love those long weekends, right?!) Actually, well, it's almost over. I had every intention of getting this post up sooner, but a serious case of writer's block prolonged an assignment I was working on earlier, so here we are.

(What's this dude UP to these days anyway?)

So let's play a little get-to-know-you game. The blog is always me me me—crying, whining, overeating, ranting, falling asleep at bars—and quite frankly I'm getting a little bored with myself. I want to hear from YOU every once in a while. In TWO words or less, answer these short questions. Por ejemplo:

Fave nail polish: Navy

First kiss: Bobby Gordon

Fave alcoholic bev: vodka

Fave non-alcoholic bev: coffee

What are you doing right this second: Biting nails

Yoga or pilates: Yoga, duh

Pet peeve: Smarty pants

BBQ or Sour cream flavor: Tie!

Bagels: Nope

Fave accent: British

Who makes you LOL: brother

Fave summertime footwear: wedges

Something you lack: willpower

Ice cream: PB chocolate

Childhood hero: Summer Sanders

Breakfast this am: Naan

YOUR TURN! I DARE someone who's never commented before to just do it! C'mon! Please?

Are you a good wingwoman? (or man)

2010-06-02T07:03:00.000-07:00

I've always considered myself to be an excellent wingwoman—up for anything (especially the unnecessary ONE more drink at 4am), and I always follow girl code. If a friend calls "dibs" on a guy, not only will I back off, but I will think of a clever way to get the two of them talking. (Well, that was more pertinent to my single days.) But, over Memorial Day weekend, I was the worst wingwoman EVER. Most of the girls in our group were single, so I wanted to prove that I could hang with 'em and be the life of the party just as I typically am—er—used to be.

Saturday night we went to a fun seafood restaurant, The Boathouse, in East Hampton. And even though I was feeling quite boozy before I ate, I was stone cold sober after dinner was over. (I blame it on the bread basket and two huge pieces of cheesecake our waiter gave us for FREE.) Even so, I was bound and determined to snap with it and get my party on! Or not. Ten minutes into our car ride home, I fell asleep. Once we got back to our house, I pepped up just enough to eat a s'mores (or three) and went to bed. LAME. I'll save you the long, boring story, but Sunday night was much of the same. I feel asleep AT.THE.BAR. in the middle of a drinking game. Yeah, I can't wait to see those pics! (Girls, don't think I'm naive enough not to know that you pounced on that photo op!)

Friends, this is my formal apology. I swear never to be such a lame wingwoman ever again. Next time I'm out, I'm totally going to be Cameron Diaz in The Sweetest Thing. (Love that movie—I also referenced it here.) Well, she ends up falling in love with the dude she tries to hook Selma Blair up with, but that's besides the point. She's super-fun and her intentions were good.

And even though Dumb and Dumber is one of my all-time favorite movies, I don't know if I'd want Harry or Lloyd to be my wingman if I was a dude. They are hilarious as hell, but both screw each other over royally for a girl. (How funny is it when Lloyd does this to Harry?) Hey, not that I really blame them though—Lauren Holly is way hottt.

So tell me: Are you a good wingwoman/man? What are the Do's and Don'ts when you're out with friends? And what celeb would you want as a your wing-person?

Modern Day Dating

2010-06-01T09:30:00.000-07:00

Get a group of seven girls in a house drinking vino nonstop (in my case, vodka) for a few days and what will they be talking about? Boys. Dating. Relationships. One conversation that came up is how couples these days seem to be very concerned with taking certain STEPS in their relationship. Like, moving in together, then buying a dog together, then...I don't know, what comes after that? And from this post, you know how I feel about cohabitation. Sure, that might be the right step for a couple to take, and that's great. But what about the people who do it...just because?

I guess what I don't understand is why it seems as though a lot of couples define the seriousness of their relationship by these things. Just the other day a girl was hitting on my boyfriend (you know how much I like that!), and she was being so aggressive that eventually he told her about moi. So then she started asking questions to determine the seriousness of our relationship. When he told her we weren't living together, her response was: "Ohh realllly? Why NOT?!" (Back off, bitch!) Hmm, I guess dating for over four years doesn't mean as much if you're not living together? Interesting.

There's more of a focus these days on always looking ahead to what the next step is, and then deciding what that step MEANS. What happened to the good ol' days where you dated someone, fell in love and got married? What's up with all this complicated shit in between? It really shouldn't be so hard, and every last little thing really doesn't need to be analyzed. Like, if the dude you're dating gets you a toothbrush to keep at his place, it might just be because he's sick of your funky morning breath, not because he's ready to take a STEP in the relationship. Lord, I could go on and on about this topic! But I won't.

Ok, and sidenote: I am fully aware that my Google images are getting more random by the week. (My friend Joyann always thinks they are so hilarious!) An.Y.way...

Tell me: Do you agree or disagree with me on this one? Am I too old-fashion in my way of thinking?

So long, Southampton!

2010-05-31T07:30:00.000-07:00

Hi friends! Sorry I was out of touch yesterday—we were at the beach all day and by the time we got back to the house it was time to cook dinner and get ready for the night. Hard life, I know. It's so beautiful here—this break from the big bad city was very much needed.

Here's our house—isn't it so cute? I've decided to save most of the pics from the trip for Photo Shoot Friday (perhaps I will break it up in two installments?), so you'll have to wait a few days to see 'em!

We're leaving soon and I'm so sad about it. I need to do something enjoyable tonight to try to ward off post-vacay blues. That's the worst. Hrm, maybe I'll see SATC2? Who's seen it? And what do you do to unwind from vacay and get ready for the upcoming week?

Grocery Shopping with Sexy Asians

2010-05-29T08:00:00.000-07:00

Hola from Southampton! We got in early yesterday afternoon and hit up the grocery store right away to stock up on food and beer.

Here's Melissa and her older sis, Michelle. I don't know about you, but I NEVER look this hottt when I'm grocery shopping!

As everything was being rung up, I started getting nervous about all of the frivolous things I threw into the cart. But, we really NEEDED those Swedish Fish and bags of Pirate's Booty!

Hey, not too bad divided between seven people! I plan to eat the groceries for pretty much every single meal, so the small amount of cash I allotted for the trip should last me!

We got quite a workout loading the bags of groceries into the car. Tiff hooked us up with this Ford Flex!

So after we unpacked our groceries, we busted out the wine, which lead to this random video. Here's Jenn showing you how to keep your chips from going stale! haha

I hope everyone's having a FABULOUS weekend so far! Tell me: What will you be eating this weekend? And what are your groceries essentials when you're on vacay?

Photo Shoot Friday: Small Bites, Big Flavors

2010-05-28T05:45:00.000-07:00

Recently my boyfriend encouraged me to take more pictures so that I don't continue to have "throw away posts" for Photo Shoot Friday. (Umm, I think he was talking about last week!) So, I brought the camera out with us last Sunday for date night numero dos—yes, two in one weekend. (Date Night one was recapped here.)

We went to Macondo, a Latin American tapas restaurant on the Lower East Side. I've only been there once before, maybe a year or so ago—I can't believe it took me so long to go back!

To me, atmosphere is almost as important as the food. I love the cool, low-key vibe.

We started with plantains topped with shrimp in a red sauce. I looove plantains—it's miraculous that I just had this one bite. Willpower WHAT?!

For my main meal, I got the black bean stew and topped it with citrus, cheese and tomatoes. Interesting combo, huh? It was delish!

Hola mis amigos!

I'm typically a fan of anything smeared in a creamy orange sauce, but these potatoes were only a'ight. I just had one so I could save room for this:

I had a couple bites of one short ribs slider and plenty of fries. Hold up, let's get a closer look...

Mmm. I love flavorful bite-sized dishes—you don't need much to feel totally satisfied!

Sometimes I look back at what my boyfriend and I eat together and wonder if it's normal. Did we totally pig out or what? I really can't tell. And it's hard to know exactly how much you've eaten where you're having bites here and there. I've been doing a pretty good job of ordering what I want when I go out to eat, but not stuffing myself to the point of discomfort—that's the worst. Progress people, progress!

Ohh and what's everyone doing over the long weekend? I'm hopping in a car to go to Southampton as we speak! (Eek, I'm the one driving!) Our house has Wireless—WooHoo!—so I'll be updating the blog with our fun adventures over the weekend. Check back in, ya hear? Whatever you're doing, be safe and have tons of fun! MWAH!

So what about you: Do you eat more when you're dining out with certain people? I definitely eat the most when I'm with my bf—sometimes I forget that I really CAN'T match him bite for bite!

Being a freelancer sucks when you um, aren't FREE

2010-05-27T12:30:00.000-07:00

I cannot tell you how much it pains me to tell someone NO when I'm called for a job. After all, I'm the YES girl remember? When I was at jury duty the other week, I had to turn down a reporting gig for a website I would loooove to work for. I was super-bummed, but I have a pal at the company, so when they told me "Don't worry, we'll call you again," I believed it.

But yesterday as I was walking to the park to lay out (I know, you hate me), I got a call from a 323 number. Who do I know in California? Worried it might be a salesperson from my gym calling me yet again from a different phone number, I let it go to voicemail. Then I listened to the message:

Hi Ellen, this is Steve. I'm a producer at A&E (Ok ok, interesting...) and I'm calling you about a new show we're working on (Right right...). You were very highly recommended to us (Umm, obvi), and I was wondering if you could assist our wardrobe stylist with an upcoming taping. (Please please PLEASE don't be this weekend!) So if you're free this Friday through Sunday, give me a call and...I didn't hear anything after that.

(Ok, so this pic is random, but I totally think people should start paying their freelancers with Starbucks gift cards!) If you recall from this post, I'm going to be in Southampton over the weekend. If I could afford to lose that $300 deposit, I might have considered canceling (Oh ok, no I wouldn't have), but it just wasn't realistic at such short notice. Plus, this trip is like five years overdue! But seriously, how much does that SUCK?! I was especially excited for the opportunity because I didn't have any connections at this company, which showed me that somehow my name is floating around the big bad city, and that's pretty awesome. I called Steve back to thank him and to tell him to please keep me in mind for future jobs. (I'm positive I came across waaay too eager...and desperate.) He said he'd "keep me on file." (On file? Really?) FAIL.

Freelancing is the best thing in the world when: 1.) You're getting called regularly for jobs. 2.) You're available to do those jobs. I can't help but to think that by saying "no," I will lose a potential employer forever. It's so frustrating!

Tell me: What's the thing you like the least about your job? And does anyone have any exciting work-related news to share? I promise I won't get jealous! ;)

Which Sex and The City Character are YOU?

2010-05-27T05:30:00.000-07:00

This week in NYC it's been all about Sex and the City 2! The premiere, the after parties, parties after the after parties, and sadly I haven't been to a single event. Not that I expected to, but I've felt like a loser lately reading my friends' SATC Facebook status updates over the last few days: Just spotted SJP at (insert swanky hotel here)! or In a limo on my way to the premiere! Hellllo friends, remember me? I'm a great wing woman in case you have forgotten?

An.Y.way, here's a group pic from the premiere. Lookin' good, ladies! I don't know about you, but I'm happy to see that SJP doesn't have a plant growing out of her head like she did at the London premiere for the first movie. (I believe the Brits call those little hats fascinators?) Her asymmetrical lemon colored dress allows her to stand out just enough without screaming LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME!

So, if you had to guess, who do you think my favorite character is? I'll narrow it down for you...

Carrie has killer style and just an overall fabulous little Manhattan life (and she's a writer), but....

I'm SO Miranda! Are you surprised? She's funny, sarcastic, smart—LOVE her. I actually have a tank top that says, "I'm a Miranda!" I need to dig it up and rock it when I go to see the movie. Cheesy? Yes. Do I care? No.

So tell me: Which SATC character are YOU and why? Are you excited for the movie? I've heard mixed reviews, but of course I'm going to see it anyway!

On-the-Fence Fashion

2010-05-26T10:00:00.000-07:00

New trends are constantly coming out (er, or being recycled), and there's always a few I'm on the fence about. Like, I know they are totally approved by the Fashion Gods and that I'm supposed to like them, but sometimes I just don't quite get it.

Trend #1: Cut-outs and shredding

Both Liza and Joyann are sporting this trend, but unfortunately you can't really see it. They look hottt in the pic though, which is why I decided to post it anyway. The shoulders on Liza's dress are cut out and the back of Joyann's dress looks something like this:

Ok, so I'm down with these looks—edgy, but subtle. (Photo: Cheap Monday tank from Shopbop.)

But this? No thank you. If this is in style, then I will gladly turn myself in to the Fashion Police right this second because I do not concur. I guess Amber Rose is still trying to help Kanye prove to the world that he likes girls instead of boys. Give it up, dude, no one believes you.

Trend #2: Clogs

To clog or not to clog? That's the recurring question every summer. MK Olsen looks like a bum most of time, but she knows her shit. (I looove her and Ashley's line Elizabeth and James!) Hrm...

I got an email the other day about these shoes, FitFlops. Apparently they are biochemically engineered to help sculpt your leg muscles, improve posture and reduce back pain—which I have from time to time. These could be worth trying—if I'm going to start cloggin', I suppose doing it with added health benefits is the way to go!

Trend #3: Denim on Denim

I've been testing out this trend for a while now, and I'm still unsure about it. I always think it's cool when I first put it together, but looking back now...ICK!

And this is what walked down the Louis Vuitton runway at Spring Fashion Week. I love the afro, but everything else confuses the hell out of me. Whyyyy?

So what are your thoughts on these three trends? What others are you on the fence about?

Bringing Sexy Back

2010-05-25T10:00:00.000-07:00

Saturday my boyfriend and I planned a special date night because we hadn't seen each other in a week. It sucks when we're both that busy, but we always find a way to make it up to each other. So how do we bring the sexy back?

I wear high heels...

...and he takes me out to a nice sushi dinner. We went to Blue Ribbon in SoHo--it's one of my favorites! In addition to the usual suspects (california roll, tuna/salmon/egg/eel sushi pieces), we tried the Blue Ribbon roll.

It was pretty to look at (caviar, anyone?), but I didn't love it. Lobster doesn't have much flavor, and the shiso had an um, interesting taste. I don't know, maybe a sushi expert would have given it rave reviews, but it wasn't my cup of green tea!

My boyfriend and I went here on one of our first dates, so it was fun to recall that memory when we were still getting to know each other. (Actually, it's a bit of a blur--I drank waaaay too much in the beginning of our relationship!) He made a comment the other day about how I rarely wear heels anymore and I freaked. Nooo! I don't want to be THAT girl! So I put on high heels and gave myself a D.I.Y. mani. And I had planned to wear something a little sexier, but I didn't like anything in my closet, so I borrowed Liza's DVF jumper. It did the job.

**Ohh, I've got giveaway winner announcements! BerryFine won the Bumble and Bumble hair products and Mary Allen won Carmindy's Crazy Busy Beautiful book! Shoot me an email ladies with your mailing info! And I *pinky promise* I selected the winners at random. I gave everyone a number and had the bf pick 'em :) (Does anyone have any suggestions on a better way to do it??) An.Y.way...

So yeah, it doesn't take much for my bf and I to bring the sexy back into our relationship when things get a little crazy. High heels, sushi, vino and we're good! What about you: What special things do you (or have you done in the past) with your partner to keep the flame a burnin'? And how important do you think it is to fix up and make the effort to look good for each other?

How do you decide what you put your energy into?

2010-05-24T06:00:00.000-07:00

As a freelancer, it's really important what I choose to spend my time and energy on. At times I want to say YES to everything, but some jobs just aren't worth it. Like, I'd rather write an article for FREE for a publication I really like and want to build a working relationship with, over writing a blog about baby nurseries for a parenting website for $50. What's worth it? What isn't? That's what I'm constantly asking myself.

So I told you that I recently took on a freelance PR/assistant gig. Well, I finished out one job and then on Friday I quit. I was the one doing the firing this time around and it felt pretty weird. I took the job for the potential networking opportunities and contacts it would bring (I certainly didn't do it for the money!), but after day one I realized it was something I just couldn't --and shouldn't--invest my energy into. It's really not in my best interest to tell you the details of what went down, but let's just say that I will no longer be able to watch The Devil Wears Prada with the same amount of enjoyment, which really is a shame.

I was kinda bummed that the gig didn't work out because I was excited to be able to tell people I was doing SOMETHING, something kinda cool, regarding work. Ohh well. Bragging rights certainly aren't worth destruction to my mental health!

So, it's back to the drawing board! On the bright side, I will now be able to regain focus on the blog. (Well, I might not be 100 percent back to normal until after Memorial Day weekend, but I'm getting there!) Ohh and it's not too late to enter the Bumble and Bumble contest giveaway--I've decided to wait until tonight to pick a winner! An.Y.way...

Tell me: How do you decide what you put your energy into? What's worth it and what isn't? And have you ever had a Devil Wears Prada moment at work?!

Do your food cravings change by the season?

2010-05-23T14:30:00.000-07:00

Mine do. This winter I was allll about chili. My boyfriend and I made it quite a bit, and we actually still have some saved in the freezer! It's filling, yummy and just so satisfying during the colder months. (And well, I'm always looking for an excuse to eat tortilla chips!) Well now that the temps are rising, my ice cream cravings have kicked into full gear, and it's just down right dangerous.

After I finished my Glamour reporting in Union Square this afternoon, I had a hankering for something cold and creamy, so I popped into The Lite Choice just a block away for a cup of Dark Chocolate Truffle with mint chips. It was so good--I love their selection of toppings! (New Yawkers, check out these awesome giveaways they are doing right now!)

I had chilled out a bit (pun intended) on the ice cream and froyo treats a bit when the weather was cooler, but today I realized that it's not going to be quite as easy to resist once summer officially starts. Pretty soon, I know I'm going to want ice cream every.single.day. I don't think I'm strong enough to resist it--actually, I know I'm not--but I'm going to try to just get a small serving every time I do have it. I guess it's all about compromise and balance and the idea that everything is good in moderation. Yeah, yeah, blah blah blah. We'll have to wait and see how THAT goes!

So what about you: do your food cravings change by the season? What do you love to eat during the summer?

Lets.get.fired.UP!

2010-05-22T07:00:00.000-07:00

Clap, clap, clap clap clap. I was a cheerleader for a YMCA basketball team when I was like 10, and that was my favorite little cheer. Why? Because it was the only one I could remember all of the words and moves to! An.Y.way. You know from this post that I love love LOVE getting little surprises in the mail, and LOOK what my friend Lorraine sent me yesterday!

It's hanging on my wall right above my desk—perfecto! It's so funny, when I first started the blog, some people thought the name meant that I was like FIRED UP about something. Angry? Pumped up? I'm not sure. But nope, I'm just straight up FIRED.

But as you know by now, plenty of things do get me fired up. One being, that there seems to be so many people with fabulous jobs who just don't seem to deserve them. People with fancy titles who find sneaky ways to get other people to make them look good without even lifting a finger. Hate that. And most recently, I worked with a PR director of one of the fanciest hotels in NYC who was a complete mess—unprofessional, unorganized, un...everything. It just boggled my mind. I really try not to be bitter, but sometimes it's just so damn hard!

So what about you: What's getting you FIRED UP these days?

Photo Shoot Friday: Hemp Necklaces and Harry Potter

2010-05-21T06:00:00.000-07:00

I've been really lame lately, and haven't been going out hardly at all. Actually, I don't think I even remember the last time I got drunk. WHOA! Last night I saw Alex and Simon from The New York Housewives out (which, ahem, you would know if you are a FnF fan on Facebook!), but I didn't even get to enjoy the party because I was working at it. I always wondered what it would be like to be the door girl with a clipboard—yeah, not as much fun as I thought it would be. (What? I'm not on the list? Oh no...that's not right. Damian's boyfriend's sister said that I...)

So that explains why I've resorted to posting these senior year photos from Buzzfeed. Enjoy.

Hemp necklace, check. Gelled hair, check. Boxer briefs peeking out of jeans, check. Two-pack abs, check, check. Serious stare, check. Oh so profesh!

Ok, so I'm not going to lie, my senior year photos looked a little something like this, only I think I was in a swim suit. Ew. Mom, why didn't you stop me?!

Bi-polar is so trendy these days.

This one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my...

Umm yeah...I got nothin'.

Harry Potter is so two years ago. Where the hell are the Edward Cullen senior photos?!

I think this might be my favorite.

Which one of these do you like best? And what did YOUR senior year photos look like?!

What sacrifices have your parents made for you?

2010-05-20T06:30:00.000-07:00

Six years ago, I sat my dad down at our house in Kentucky to ask him a very important question: Can I move to New York? He fired several questions my way, and I reassured him that I would bust my ass and make things HAPPEN. I was nervous as hell as I watched him think it over, and then...he said yes! He saw the desperation in my eyes and knew there was no other answer. Well, I think the main reason he said yes was because he wanted Liza and I to be together (she had already moved here), but still. Thanks, Dad, for helping me make my dreams come true!

When I first moved to NYC, I lived in a one bedroom apartment with Liza and one other roommate—talk about getting the true New York experience! I had a paying internship at a music PR company and Liza was freelancing at Lucky magazine, but I'd be lying if I said we didn't have to hit Dad up for money...often. I hated doing it—especially because financially I knew it wasn't easy for him to help me—but I just kept telling him that one day it would all be worth it.

Well, Dad's gone, but now I'm singing the same old tune to my mom. Of course I'm much more independent than I was back then, but I do on occasion need a little help. It's actually quite embarrassing for me to admit this at 29 years-old, especially when what I want more than anything in the WORLD is to be secure and successful on some level. And my unemployment certainly hasn't been easy on my mom—she's been there for me every step of the way. I can't even count how many times I have called her crying over the last year!

Without my parents support, I never could have had the luxury to chase my dreams. Having people believe in you and invest in you, even if it means putting their needs second is just an amazing feeling. It actually makes me feel quite spoiled. I cannot WAIT for the day when I can look back and say, See it was worth it!

Tell me: What sacrifices have your parents made for you?

What's the food diary of your life?

2010-05-19T07:30:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I'm doing something I've never done before—I'm straight up jacking an idea I saw on someone else's blog. But that someone happens to be my bloggy friend, Kelly, so I don't think she will be too upset with me! So here it is, the food diary of my life.

Milk. When I was a baby, I was OBSESSED with milk. My mom said I'd chug down my bottle and then chuck it out of my crib when I was ready for more. This lead to my love of cereal...

Cereal. I could have cereal for EVERY meal. Oatmeal is cheaper, which is why I've been eating it so much lately, but nothing is better than a big bowl of cereal. One time when I was like six, my grandmother let me eat four bowls of Special K for dinner. I couldn't believe it! It was easily one of the best nights of my child LIFE.

Peas. I despised peas as a kid, and my parents wouldn't let me leave the dinner table until I ate them. I made a big dramatic scene about it, too. I'd put just a few on my fork, hold my nose and scrunch my face up in disgust as I swallowed 'em down. I always snuck some into my napkin too, but I'm pretty sure I got busted every time. Looking back, I don't know what the big deal was—peas don't really taste like anything.

Eggs. This was the first thing I learned how to cook, and still to this day it's one of the only things I can make! Shameful. I had this dish at Balthazaar several months ago—I wish I could make my eggs look this fancy!

Ice cream. By now you know that my love for ice cream runs DEEP. My first job was at Graeter's, so that might explain something there. I actually didn't eat much of the ice cream while I worked, but one time my boss totally caught me shoveling spoonfuls of Double Chocolate Chip into my mouth! It was soooo embarrassing! I quickly put the spoon down, wiped my mouth and went back to work. We both acted like it never happened!

Ohh, and a funny ice cream story about Liza: When she was little, my mom gave her a scoop of low-fat vanilla (Oh no she di'n't!). After one little taste, she exclaimed, "WHAT THE HECK KIND OF ICE CREAM IS THIS?!?" Bless her little heart—she knew something wasn't right. The Collis girls don't mess around when it comes to ice cream!

Sushi. Leah, one of my best friends from college, introduced me to it junior year when the food court in the student union started serving it. I'd always get a California roll and dunk the hell out of it in that yummy orange sauce. I didn't like it much at the time, but I thought it was the cool thing to eat, so I went with it. Now, I LOVE sushi. When my boyfriend and I first started dating, we ate it as much as possible—like pretty much every time we went out to eat! I've tried some more adventurous rolls with him, but my favorite ones are super-basic: California, spicy tuna and cucumber. Mmm.

Pizza. It's cheap and yummy and I LOVE it. My bf and I shared this pizza at a casual restaurant in Park Slope last weekend. Shoot, I'm forgetting the name of the place! (New Yorkers, it's on Seventh Ave near 10th Street.) It's not the healthiest thing in the world, but I usually eat it by the slice with veggies on top, so it's not so bad.

Wow, now I'm officially starving! Your turn: What's the food diary of YOUR life?

Do you have workout ADD?

2010-05-18T10:00:00.000-07:00

I do sometimes and it SUCKS. I hate when I watch the clock at the gym when I KNOW I should be too busy working up a sweat to even think about what time it is! The other day I went to a spinning and yoga class back to back. (I've been doing double workouts on days I have the time because my schedule has been so sporadic lately.) In both classes I just watched the seconds tick, tick, tick on by. The spinning instructor was partially to blame though. She played the WORST music ever—it was a random techno mix, and I hate techno. Umm hello, teach, is a little Rihanna too much to ask for?! I just couldn't get motivated, so I left class ten minutes early to do some glute work before yoga.

I'm pretty good at concentrating on exercises that concern my ass, so for those 10 minutes, I was focused. But then it was time to get my downward facing dog on, and I was back to being distracted. Just as I'd start thinking about my To-Do list and what I was going to have for dinner, the teacher would say, "Don't let your mind drift. Bring it back to what you are doing in this very moment." Damn, the bitch is a mind reader! Well, she probably caught me glancing at the clock every five minutes. She also told us to "find our inner juiciness" and that "deeper doesn't mean better." Who the hell can concentrate with commentary like THAT?!

So yep, I'm diagnosing myself with workout ADD. Who else gets it? Is there a cure?

Karma's a bitch, BITCH!

2010-05-18T05:00:00.000-07:00

In this post I told you about the miserable bloke (he's English) who FIRED my ass. Well, I found out yesterday that HE recently got fired. This, my friends, is what I call karma. And of course, instead of being civil and taking the high road, he threw a little bitchfest and wrote a bitter email to the entire office. I'm not surprised.

So yesterday a reader (Hi Ashley!) commented about what I said about wanting to "strangle" recent grads who land jobs right out of school.

While it might not be fun seeing people get jobs before you at least there are jobs to get! I believe in job karma, and hatin' on people for landing gigs before you is bad ju-ju.

I believe in job karma, too. Did I actually want to strangle anyone? No. Was I a teensy bit jealous? Yes. It IS hard seeing people all around me land jobs and get promotions when I've been struggling (and busting my ass!) for a year. Sure. But I can honestly say that I am happy for other people's successes—even if the news initially is hard to hear. And Ashley's right, it does give me hope that there ARE jobs out there...somewhere!

So no, I don't think the karma police will be knocking on my door any time soon. What about you: Do you believe in karma? Has it ever come back to bite you?

Things That Should Be Illegal: Take 3

2010-05-17T06:30:00.000-07:00

1. A grandmother getting jiggy with her grandson. When I read about this story online, all I could think was, Please don't be from Kentucky, please don't be from Kentucky! Phew, Indiana.

2. Cell phones in yoga class. You know from this post what a competitive yogi I can be. It takes me a LONG time to finally relax and reach a place of zen, so when a cell phone goes off in the middle of class, I want to beat a bitch UP. Especially when the owner just keeps letting it ring and ring because they're too embarrassed to claim it.

3. Lauren Conrad. She's a cute girl with a cute style. PERIOD. There is nothing more here. Nothing. Why does she have an "empire" built around her name? Every time I read an interview she's done, I just want to cry. She's so terribly boring, and every sentence out of her mouth is a cliche worse than the one before.

4. PDA. I saw a teenage couple swapping spit at a restaurant with their entire family there at the table. It was disgusting. And they were so SERIOUS about it—looking into each other's eyes and shit. Honey, you know he did the same thing the night before with your best friend, right?

5. College grads who get jobs right after school. A recent Columbia grad told me she's starting a marketing job with American Express in August. I wanted to STRANGLE her. It took me over a YEAR to land my first job out of school, and now, well, we all know what my situation is...

6. Celebs who renew their vows...over...and over. Mariah and Nick, Tori and Dean...just stop it. The only thing this proves is that you're total media whores.

7. Not paying the bus fare. It drives me CRAZY when someone steps on the bus knowing full well they don't have a cent on their metro card or in their wallet. Yet, they keep swiping their metro card with a confused looked, as if they just don't understand why it's not working. Then finally the driver gets fed up and lets them sit down. That is a FREE bus ride, and I consider that to be stealing. Stealing is illegal.

8. For someone to spill your coffee on the floor...and then offer you a SIP of his. This happened to me the other day. Yes, the dude offered me a sip of his coffee. No thanks, you toothless bastard. You can practically catch an STD from just looking at someone these days—I'm not going to chance it. Not even for coffee.

9. Canceling plans on someone AN HOUR before you're supposed to meet. Don't do this. It's not cool. It's selfish. Especially in New York where it can take almost an hour to get somewhere!

10. Recording a song if you don't in fact have ANY musical abilities. Luann, are you serious? Momma, I know you're going through a hard time and you want to be all cool and hippity hop, but this is not good for your image. At all.

So tell me: Do you agree with anything on this list? What else should be illegal??

WHO LOVES YOU?!

2010-05-15T15:00:00.000-07:00

I do, I do! I love you SOOOO much in fact, that I'm going to give away some of the Bumble and Bumble hair products I got at this event.

There's a styling spray, masque, shine cream and conditioner, which all together retails around $100! I realized I hadn't even touched these products when Liza and I cleaned the apartment last weekend. And while they are totally fabulous, they just aren't quite right for my hair type. Plus, you know I'm always looking for ways to show my favorite people a little love :)

For a chance to win:

1. Become a fan of Fired 'n' Fabulous on Facebook (Ahem—if you haven't already!)

2. Tell me how you'd spend $100 if someone gave it to you

3. Spill it: Your most hideous hairstyle you had growing up

4. Virtual pinky promise me you will tell at least one new person about FnF

Yes, I'm making you WORK for it! Just a little. Ohh and Elizabeth, you never emailed me with your address so I can send you the Crazy Busy Beautiful book. (If your name is Elizabeth and you're not sure whether or not I'm talking about you, click here.) If I don't hear from you by Monday, May 24, then I'm going to pick another winner. And that's also when I'll choose the winner for these goodies!

XOXO

Photo Shoot Friday: Food Porn and a Rooftop View

2010-05-14T14:30:00.000-07:00

OK, so the writing on this post is going to be minimal. I've been a little bonkers with this freelance PR gig I recently took on, and I just don't have the time or brainpower to come up with clever commentary at the moment. Not that the pics really need any. (Please ignore any typos. My bf already pointed out like three from the last post!) And oh, apparently food blog pics are called FOOD PORN. Works for me!

An editor friend invited me over to her Upper West Side apartment the other week, and I was blown AWAY by it. This is pretty much what I aspire to have...one day.

We all know what a fabulous photographer I am! I managed to only get half of the two-wall bookshelf.

People say that the "magic" happens in the bedroom, but I say it's the kitchen! Plus, you can make magic IN the kitchen. Ya dig?

We went outside to eat on the patio, but I'm an idiot and accidentally deleted the beautiful pic I had taken of it. Damn.

I loaded my plate with the healthy stuff first....

...and then I got to the good stuff! I rarely eat pasta anymore (not sure why?) It was de-LISH.

Fried cheese anyone? Yes, PLEASE!

My plate looked like this. Plus seconds of pasta and cheese.

We finished off the night with key lime pie, (more) vino and coffee. Yummm.

Oh, and this view. Isn't it ridiculous?

Until this night, I always said that I'd take an awesome wardrobe over an awesome apartment any day, but now I'm rethinking that. What would you choose: Apartment or wardrobe? And what's everyone having for dinner tonight? All this damn FOOD PORN is making me hungry!

What are your biggest fears?

2010-05-14T08:10:00.000-07:00

We're taking care of Rocky this week because Tiffany is out of town for a photo shoot, and I have looooved having him around! He's so chill and cute, and is just the perfect little companion to calm me down when I'm having one of my meltdowns. (He had to witness one on Wednesday. Sorry, Rocks!)

So Tiff had mentioned that Rocky was scared to walk up and down stairs. Her apartment has an elevator (lucky bitch!), but I have to hoof it up and down four flights of stairs every single day. I actually enjoy getting the extra bit of exercise, but Rocky was NOT having it. Not.having.it.

Look how he's totally backing away from the edge of the stairs. Poor Rocks! He was genuinely scared out of his little doggy mind!

Dogs are so funny. I recently learned that Rocky has a pooping ritual. He turns around in a circle three times as fast as he can before he does his biznas. It's like he's serenading his shit or something!

So what about you: What are your biggest fears? I'm totally afraid of heights. Boring, I know. Is anyone scared of something weird? Remember back in the day when people went on Maury Povich to talk about their fears of lettuce and cotton balls? Crazy!

Could you work from home?

2010-05-13T12:45:00.000-07:00

So remember this post where my sister and boyfriend pretty much made me their laundry bitch for the day because they figured I had the TIME to do it for them? Well, it's becoming more and more evident to me that people just don't get what it is I do all day long. When I send emails at 6am, people write back asking, "What are you doing up so early?!" This happened to me just the other day, only it was like 9:45! I rarely sleep past 10am on the weekend—c'mon now!

Working from home is tough. I don't have anyone forcing me to do anything, so it's up to ME to stay motivated. The majority of the time, I have my PT job, random freelance gigs and the blog to keep me busy and on track. But there are days here and there where I'm like hmm, I could totally sit on the couch and watch TV all day if I wanted to! But, I don't. (Well, I just might watch part of Oprah today—the Twilight cast will be on!) But trust me, I'm on the constant hustle. Can't stop, won't stop. I haven't even SEEN my bf since Sunday! Is the weekend here yet?

Tell me: Could you work from home and stay motivated? Do you think you'd enjoy it? And if you were home during the day, what's the one thing you'd be tempted to do? Nap? Watch Dr.Phil? WHAT?

If you build it, they will come

2010-05-13T05:00:00.000-07:00

So I never really loved the movie Field of Dreams as much as everyone else, or as much as I felt I should, but the lesson that is taught is a good one: Patience. Work hard, keep the faith, have patience—and it will come. It will. It's hard though because, well, I want it NOW. I'm not even entirely sure what it is anymore, but I know that I want it. I guess more than anything, I want to be passionate about my work and make a decent amount of money doing it. I want a little normalcy and consistency in my life. Is that so much to ask?!

I didn't like any of the photos from the movie (damn Google images!), so I chose this one. Pretty cool, huh?

I have admitted in the past that at some point, I think it would be really great if I could turn a little profit from this blog, but honestly, things have been so loco lately that I'm finding myself coming here to just relax and take a break from it all! The blog can be stressful sometimes (like when I'm trying to write two posts before work and I have serious writer's block), but I'm getting back to the place where it's more fun than anything else, and that makes me happy. So, I'm just going to keep building it, and I guess we'll just have to wait and see what comes!

I saw this video about blogging—and how to be successful at it— that supports the basic jist of what I've just said. It also encourages bloggers to ASK their readers what they want. I did that once and the main points you guys made were that you wanted: 1. To see more of ME 2. More gender neutral posts 3. More hot-button topics. I think I've done a pretty good job with working on those suggestions, but I probably could improve with #3. Hey, but I can't help it I like writing about random shit!

But tell me again what you think: What would you like to see more of on the bloggy-blog? And do you struggle with patience like I do?

Jury Duty: My Cousin Vinny style

2010-05-12T06:30:00.000-07:00

I wish! Jury duty wasn't nearly as exciting as My Cousin Vinny (favorite movie of ALL time!), but I came across a few interesting characters yesterday. It was quite the comical experience. So of course EVERYONE is trying anything and everything to get out of it. All the jewish people claimed they couldn't serve because of a holiday next week. And even though a lot of them probably haven't been to temple in years, it was reasonable. You can't question someone about religion. But what about the lady who exclaimed she just couldn't do it because she had a HAIR APPOINTMENT on Monday. Everyone chuckled and she said, "Whaaat?" She was dead serious, people. Dead.serious. Her hair was purple, so actually, I'd say not only was it a valid excuse, but an emergency!

And then there were people who took this as an opportunity to get their 15 minutes of fame. One lady strolled into the courtroom in a metallic gold trench and oversized shades. She sat waaay leaned back in her chair and talked in a low, raspy voice. She was clearly pleased with her image. But the judge actually called her out and asked if she was talking in her REAL voice! Haha. She coughed and then poof, suddenly her voice went up five octaves. Another dude was REALLY excited to rattle off his rap sheet: Two DUIs, busted for smoking pot on the street, arrested for possession of a martial arts weapon (yes), and the list goes on. I don't know about you, but I sure was impressed.

And then there was lil ol' me feeling so boring and normal, giving my spiel about how I lost my job and don't collect unemployment, so if I'm not available to work, then I'm not able to pay rent, and more importantly EAT! I actually wouldn't mind serving on jury duty at some point. It seemed pretty interesting, but I already had to turn down one freelance gig for the time I was there, AND I wasn't able to go to my part-time job. Not cool. So they let me go. I think my "excuse" was better than most.

Obviously there weren't any lawyers in the courtroom as badass as Joe Pesci. It is just hilarious when he wears this suit! I love when he gives this explanation to the judge:

I bought a suit. You seen it. Now it's covered in mud. This town doesn't have a one-hour cleaner, so I had to buy a new suit, except the only store you could buy a new suit in has got the flu. Got that? The whole store got the flu, so I had to get this in a second hand store.

And who could forget Marisa Tomei's style? Awe.some. There just aren't words for how amazing she was in this movie.

So tell me: Has anyone else witnessed funny characters at jury duty? And are there any other My Cousin Vinny fans out there? C'mon, hit me with your favorite quote!

Have you ever plotted revenge on someone?

2010-05-11T11:00:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend my friend Tom told me a story about a "psycho girl" he recently dated. (And by dated I mean they went out a couple times.) I'm always skeptical when guys call girls psycho—as if they play no part in making girls act crazy—but I'm going to share the story under the assumption that what Tom told me was the whole truth and nothing but the truth. (Jury duty is rubbing off on me!)

Tehe, how cute is this pic? So right, the story. After date number two, Tom was really into PG—she was pretty, fun and smart. They sent a stream of flirty text messages back and forth, but then he could feel a change on PG's end when he told her about his upcoming birthday. He didn't invite her out for the celebration because it was a guys-only night. Fair enough. And THEN, the crazy came out. (If a girl's got it in her, she usually can't hide it for long.) The day after his birthday, PG invited Tom to her penthouse apartment on the Upper East Side to give him his birthday present, if ya know what I'm sayin'.

So he quickly got ready and hopped into a cab uptown. When he got to the apartment, the doorman informed him there wasn't even a penthouse in the building and that no one by PG's name lived there! WTF?! So he texted her to see what was up and she said she had accidentally texted the address wrong. Oopsie! So he hopped into another cab and when he reached the building, it was the same story. Wrong apartment. To make a short story shorter, Tom went to three or four apartments before receiving this text:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FUCKER. HOPE YOU ENJOYED YOUR TOUR OF THE UPPER EAST SIDE!!!

Happy Birthday, Fucker? Seriously? But yeah, it is pretty damn funny. Sorry, Tom!

So tell me: Girls, have you ever plotted revenge on a guy? And guys, have you ever been royally screwed like this before?

When's the last time you FORGOT to eat?

2010-05-11T05:00:00.000-07:00

Ya know how celebrities claim they forget to eat because they're so busy? I always thought that was a load of shit (kind of like when they say they stay in shape by "chasing their kids around") until now. Things have been mucho crazy lately. Sorry I'm leaving you in the dark as to what is going on, but until I decide whether I want to (or even should) share, I'm going to keep mum. Sor-ry, I hate that. An.Y.way.

Yesterday, it happened. I forgot to eat. Yes. I was at jury duty all day, which came at the worst possible time (don't postpone it, people!), and was working on a project on my laptop during every break—you get a lot of 'em. So I had a big egg puff topped with cheese and salsa with a coffee for breakfast, a slice of veggie pizza (I needed something quick!) for lunch and a pack of Snackwell cookies for a snack. When I got home from jury duty, I was working away at my desk and didn't even move from my chair until 9:30pm. That's when I realized Whoa! I forgot to eat dinner! Cooool. (Haha, kidding.) Since I had planned to go to bed at 11pm, I didn't want to have something too heavy, so I just ate the second half of a huge salad I had leftover in my fridge from dinner the night before.

The old Ellen would have done this yesterday, but I didn't. (Insert pat on back here.) Usually when I'm stressed I stuff my face because I dunno, I feel like I deserve a treat—or 10—when I'm losing my MIND. I had urges to cheat, but I ignored them and just focused on my work. I'll know to be better prepared today with snacks so I don't go so long without eating—I know it's not a healthy habit to get into!

Ohh and remember when I wrote about eating speed? This pic of Takeru Kobayashi reminded me of that. I liked writing that post!

Alright, gotta get a few more things done before I head back to jury duty. If I wasn't so darn busy right now, I think I'd actually enjoy it—it's pretty interesting.

So tell me: When's the last time you FORGOT to eat?

Long.Duck.Dong.

2010-05-10T06:30:00.000-07:00

Say it as fast as you can ten times and see what happens. Oh, right...happy Monday, guys! So I know this post seems random, but there are worse things than starting the week with Long Duck Dong, right?

I love Sixteen Candles—why don't they make movies like that anymore? WHY?!

So Saturday night my boyfriend and I went to Peking Duck House in Chinatown for a little...duck. They bring the entire bird out in front of you and cut it into slices. It was pretty cool.

Add a little cucumber, sauce, and wrap it up into your own little duck burrito! It was yummy. I enjoyed my dinner, but I didn't stuff myself to the point of utter discomfort, which is so easy to do with Chinese food. Victory!

When we left the restaurant, we saw this barber shop across the street: Mei Dick. That's quite a good marketing strategy—in the 60 seconds it took me to get out my cam and snap a pic, at least five people stopped to look at the sign. Slap the word dick on anything and people will pay attention. I kind of want my bf to get his hair cut here just to see what it's like!

So, has anyone tried any new, interesting foods lately? And what is your favorite Chinese dish? I usually stick to the simple stuff—General Tso's or sesame chicken. Mmm.

Thank you for being a friend

2010-05-09T14:00:00.000-07:00

This am I got a Facebook message from Aimee, my freshman year college roomie saying, I'm watching Saturday Night Live and hoping there is a great Fired 'n' Fabulous post a brewing about your long-time obsession with the Golden Girls! This is why I love Aim—she remembers EVERYTHING. I know that I watched the show quite a bit back in the day, but I don't really recall being obsessed. But, if she says I was, then it is true. (I'm pretty sure I have subconsciously blocked out 95 percent of anything that occurred freshman year!)

I'm not sure if this will come as a surprise to you guys or not, but my favorite GG was Dorothy. (R.I.P., Bea!) Wit, dry humor, comedic timing—no one did it better.

So who watched SNL last night? I didn't, but I'm just now catching up on all the clips on Hulu. "Swimming in the ocean with my blue jeans on because I love that heavy feeling." Molly Shannon is freakin' awesome! I saw a crazy fan run up the steps after her at a fancy Japanese resturant, Matsuri, one time. Who does that? Sure, you want to, but you don't do it. This was probably my favorite skit even though Betty had a smaller part. She still kicked butt though—big ups, B!

So who was your favorite Golden Girl and WHY? What did you think of the SNL skits last night?

J to tha Lo

2010-05-08T15:00:00.000-07:00

Thursday night Liza and I went to see The Back-Up Plan. (This is no time for judgment, people.) The movie was just as I suspected it would be: cheesy and predictable. So why did I see it? To stare at J.Lo for an hour and 38 minutes, of course. I know I've said in the past that Eva Mendes and Khloe Kardashian are two of my girl crushes, but seeing J.Lo on the big screen again bumped her up to the numero uno spot. I mean, just look at her.

This is obviously an old school shot, but she wasn't too far from this in the movie. And hello momma has twins! Whatever crazy detox or maple syrup diet she's on is WORKING. I know fad diets are unhealthy and torturous, but if this is the result then it seems more than worth it. Don't worry, guys, you know I don't have enough willpower to actually go on one!

When I first moved to New York, I went through a phase where I wore huge gold hoop earrings all the time. People would stop me on the street and ask for directions in Spanish because they assumed I was Hispanic. I'd do my best to help: "Caminar derecha...es dos calles..." but it didn't take long for them to realize it wasn't my native tongue. I was annoyed by these presumptions at first--I mean, it is possible to have bushy eyebrows, thick legs and gold hoop earrings and not be Hispanic! But then I took it as a compliment. I wanna be Jenny from the block!

So yeah, J.Lo (I will always refer to her as this) is my all-around celeb idol. Beauty, style, talent, personality--she has it all. Who's yours?

Photo Shoot Friday: Cold PBRs and a whole lotta meat

2010-05-07T06:30:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday everyone! Last weekend my friends and I had a cookout on the patio at a bar in Brooklyn called Moonshine. It was so much fun—God, I love summer!

Hola! FYI, this is the same skirt that attracted all sorts of unsolicited attention. Remember? Geeze, it's not even all that short! But tight, yes.

Meat! Mmm. I brought chicken, but ended up eating someone else's 'cause I was too lazy to cook it. I left it in a cooler though, so someone went home with a nice little surprise!

Here I am with Nicole, Liza and Jenn. Everyone looked so cute, I wish I had gotten head-to-toe shots. Ohh well.

And it just so happened to be Rocky's birthday. Lookin' good, my man! Tiffany gets him a special peanut butter doggy cake every year from a place in San Diego called My Best Friend Pet Treats. He's one lucky pooch!

Just as I contemplated bending down to help Rocky lick his plate clean, Tiffany busted out these delicious cookies. They were ridiculously good. Ri.dic. She made them from the Jacques Torres French Kiss cookie mix. You MUST try it!

Nicole played beer maid and made sure everyone had a full PBR at all times.

Liza was pretty chill at the beginning of the cookout, but then...

she got a little silly. Which I love. I kept making fun on her for her Lindsay Lohan spray tan fingers, and she finally busted them out for the cam. You can't see it all that well, but trust me, they were orange.

Lauren and Miko! Miko tried to flirt with Rocks, but he wasn't having it. This further supported Tiffany's suspicions that he likes boys better than girls.

This is Bruno. I'm not sure who his owner was. I think he might have been the bar's mascot. And look at the way he's sitting—I imagine that's what doggy yoga would be like!

Love the shades, ladies!

And things got even sillier at the end of the night. I caught this pic of the girls trying to click their heels together. I sprained my ankle doing that once, so I did not participate. No thank you.

So tell me: Who else loves going to cookouts in the summer? What's your favorite dish to make?

I'm a poet and I didn't know it

2010-05-06T09:00:00.000-07:00

Actually, that's a lie. You know I have a penchant for rhyming. But the other day at work when I was doodling on scrap pieces of paper, I discovered an artistic talent I didn't know I had.

Ok, so maybe this does look like the work of a six year-old. Even still, I kinda liked it :)

Here's a message to all my readers. It couldn't be more true! XOXO, Me

And because I was feeling so blue that day, I decided to remind myself of this. I truly do believe it. But um, God, are you aware that it's been pouring down on me on and off for almost a year now? Of course you are. You're God. You know what you're doing.

So yeah, I think I might add "doodling" to my list of things I don't suck at. Whatcha think? What random talents do you have?

Another day, another dollar

2010-05-05T18:30:00.000-07:00

Hollar! Geeze, I totally forgot to wish everyone a muy happy Cinco de Mayo! My bf and I "celebrated" by eating this very same taco salad. Only this time, I just had half. Success! Am I a huge loser for not consuming one single cerveza or 'rita on this holiday? Don't answer that. I just wasn't in the mood, plus you know I'd always rather eat my calories than drink 'em.

So let me tell you about my day. I didn't have much--ok anything--on the books, so when Jenn asked if I wanted to earn a little extra cash by helping her return clothing samples from a shoot she recently styled, I said YES. I met her at her apartment in the am to get the plan of attack for the day. Run all over NYC in 80 degree heat with insanely heavy bags hanging off my arms. Got it.

Feeling happy to be out and about doing something, I thought my labor-intensive workday just might actually be fun. Umm yeah, that was a fleeting feeling. It lasted all of two minutes, and then it happened. Riiiiip! The bag of shoes I was carrying totally bottomed-out, and before I knew it, I was sprawled on the ground picking up the boxes. I think my reaction to the whole ordeal was a bit dramatic, but it was a reflex. And might I add that with the exception of a little old Chinese lady offering me her small plastic bag (Not sure how that could have helped?), no one lended a helping hand. Thanks, assholes.

This pretty much sums up what I was feeling at the time: Bummed. Ohh and as I was bending over, a young gentleman walking past remarked, "Thanks for the G-show, shawty." Yes. He did. Uhh...your...welcome? I have no idea what a G-show is, but I can only assume that my thong was hanging out for the world to see. Sweet.

It took me a while to get reorganized, but I finally pulled it together and was back on my way. I even stopped a lady--no doubt a tourist--to take this pic! I would have been royally screwed if Jenn hadn't given me her camo L.L. Bean tote just in case. Thank GOD. I've been wanting that exact same bag for forever and no matter how much hinting I have done around my birthday and Christmas time, I have yet to get it. (Wink wink wink. Hint hint hint. C'mon!)

So yeah, it wasn't exactly the highest paying gig, but it was certainly better than nothing. Plus I love working with, er, for my friends. I seriously feel like I learn more and more about the meaning of a dollar every single day.

Tell me: When do you think you learned the true worth of a dollar?

Sisterly Love

2010-05-05T11:00:00.000-07:00

It's a beautiful thing. Most of the time I feel like my sister, Liza, is the only person on the planet who truly gets me. After all, she's my everything-friend, remember? And while I'm fairly certain the term "beautiful inside and out" was inspired by my sis (girl, stop blushing!), I did go through a phase where I wanted to chop off her hair in the middle of the night. It lasted, ohh from about sixth to eleventh grade.

Growing up with a sister the same age is tough. Even though we established our own, and very unique identities early on, I always felt that people compared us. Or maybe I was just paranoid and it was me who did the comparing? I don't know. When I was recently home in Kentucky, I read through my old diaries. Most everything I wrote had one common denominator: I was jealous of Liza. Jealous of the attention she got and the fact that she could eat three Big Macs at a time without gaining an ounce. (And everyone thought it was just.so.CUTE.)

As I read the diaries and caught this glimpse of her getting ready for our night out, the old feelings of jealousy came over me yet again. Why? Well, shit, you have eyes. Thankfully, my jealousy has never effected our relationship or resulted in any extreme competitiveness on my part. My mom wouldn't have tolerated it anyway.

And as much as I had wished Liza would gain weight as a kid, I didn't even rejoice when she eventually went through a chubby period after college. (Her passport photo is quite unfortunate. Liza, I have blackmail if I ever need it!) If she wasn't so ridiculously sweet, it'd be a lot easier to wish her ill-will, even just a few measly pounds, but I can't. It's impossible. After all, she's the person who picks me up when I fall. Day after day.

What about you: Did you have a sibling or friend you felt this way about growing up? Do you still?

The skinny on skinny jeans

2010-05-04T19:00:00.000-07:00

Hi friends! Here I am, here I am! So here's the post I intended to write this am before I had my seriously scary meltdown that caused Liza to suggest yet again that it might be a good idea for me to start popping happy pills on the regular. Thanks so much for your kind words--I'm feeling much better now. Then again, who wouldn't after ten vodka-tonics and three pints of ice cream? Kidding! Please tell me you didn't believe that. (And I am pleased to report I did not succumb to any emotional eating impulses. Score!) An.Y.way.

I came across a blog post (via Jezebel) that this Natalie chick wrote about how one of her photos was submitted to a Facebook group called: "There's a weight limit on leggings and skinny jeans." Now that is some serious hating, y'all. And you thought my Mariah Carey dissing was bad? Geeze. This is just off the charts nasty. Oh and I'm sure everyone who is a fan of that page is a hard-bodied runway model. Right.

I love her unapologetic 'tude and the way she takes pride in her appearance. I mean, everyone has the right to feel good about themselves and strut with a little pep in their step, right?

And if you read her post, you will see how she handled the situation with grace, which I know couldn't have been easy to do. I like this girl.

One thing she mentioned that I'm still a bit undecided about is "fat acceptance." Part of me truly does sympathize with overweight people. I've been on a food rollercoaster all my life, and while I am a size six, I often feel trapped and hopeless when it comes to eating right and developing consistent, healthy habits. Plus, I know that everyone has a different story. You can't assume overweight people sit on their couches all day long eating Cheetos Puffs. (Although, Wow, that sounds like fun!) A lot of things in life are circumstantial.

But then the other part of me has a hard time with the whole "fat acceptance" thing. I'm not a discriminating person, but I also really value health. (For the record, I know it's possible for an overweight person to have a healthy BMI.) It's like, where do you draw the line? I just don't know.

It's your turn to weigh in: How do you feel about Natalie's story? And what are your thoughts on "fat acceptance?"

FML Meltdown: Take 1,784,392

2010-05-04T06:31:00.000-07:00

It's been one of those mornings, folks. Like one of THESE mornings. It's bad. I'm sad. And here I go rhyming again.

I'm late, and I have makeup running down my face. I shall return once I have recovered. And I will. I always do.

Tell me: When's the last time you had one of those mornings?

When's the last time you hopped on the scale?

2010-05-03T12:00:00.000-07:00

I went through a phase where I weighed myself ALL the time—in the morning, after a workout, after eating dinner, right before bed—it was ridiculous. I have no idea why I tortured myself like that. But one day, I just stopped completely and didn't weigh myself for like a month. I have quite a bit of muscle, and I never thought the number on the scale was a true representation of how I looked anyway.

So I started using certain pieces of clothing as an indicator of where I was with my weight. Liza has a nice, but unforgiving pair of Prada pants she scored at a sample sale a couple years ago, and I always put those on to see whether or not I'm on track. I wore them to an interview last week, and they fit just the way I thought they would--not too snug, but not loose enough for my liking. I think I have a couple pounds to shed before summer officially starts, but I'm not too worried. It's nothing a little more cardio and a little less ice cream can't fix! (Btw, sorry I didn't tell you about the interview--I didn't want to jinx it! Umm, shit, maybe I just did?)

Side note: Did anyone watch the Derby on Saturday? Those jockeys are so damn little, it kind of kills me. I was at a bar all geared up to watch it on TV, but ended up missing it. I went outside to talk to a friend, came in back 60 seconds later and blink, it was over. That kind of sucked. Ohh well!

So what about you: When's the last time you hopped on the scale? Do you have alternative ways that help you get an idea of whether you have gained or lost a few pounds? I must say, I am much happier without getting on the dreaded scale. It makes me a lot less obsessive--hallelujah to THAT!

Warm weather=less clothing, more dudes staring at your ass

2010-05-03T06:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday in New York it was humid as HELL. I was sticky and sweaty and my thighs were rubbing together in the most uncomfortable way. Even though I had on a cute T-shirt and skirt outfit, I felt anything but attractive. And I really didn't realize just how short my skirt was until I dropped my metro card and had to bend over to pick it up. I felt a draft, panties were exposed, a few men stared, Oopsie!

I walked around the rest of the day getting nods and "Isn't it a beautiful day?" comments from random dudes. Actually, I'm hotter than shit and I'd really appreciate it if you'd quit eye raping me, is what I wanted to say, but I ignored it. It was harmless enough. But then as I walked towards a guy sitting on a bench with his friend, I heard him say, "There we go. Yeahh, there we go." Eww eww eww. As I quickly walked past, now with my ass in sight, I heard a loud "There. we. GO!" I yanked my skirt down and scurried out of his view as fast as I could.

This is the type of girl who is begging for that attention. I, am not. Plus, I don't know what he was getting all excited about—my ass is looking more Lindsay Lohan than Rihanna these days, and that just isn't not cool. I swear, I think my glutes have become immune to every single exercise I know—it's getting harder and harder to keep my derriere perky. Oh lord, yes, I am approaching 30. Nooo!

Ohh and remember this post when a guy called me a "dime PIECE" when I was all sweaty after a workout? Umm yeah.

An.Y.way. Girls, are you with me? Who else hates this unsolicited attention in the summertime? And guys, do you have anything to say in your defense?

I'm handing in my Hamptons V-Card

2010-05-01T06:15:00.000-07:00

One thing my mom always barked in my ear when I was growing up was to never live outside of my means. What's the point in spending money on something you really can't afford? And she's right. It's kind of like living a lie, ya know? And I've done a pretty good job following her advice so far. It's certainly tempting to go credit card crazy and just swipe swipe swipe without having to think about spending real money, but I don't do that. I have one inactive credit card that I'm trying to pay off, and after that's taken care of, I'm DONE.

It's actually pretty easy for me to live within my means because I don't have any money to begin with! My bank account does not have an ounce of wiggle room. The most careless way I've been spending my money recently is on trips to Starbucks. I've ditched my lattes for regular coffee, but I've also been getting the Perfect Oatmeal, which together turns out to be about the same price as a latte. I know I should save that money for metro cards and groceries, but that cup of oats really is damn near perfect, and sipping on a hot cup of coffee in the AM triggers all sorts of happy thoughts in my brain. As you can see, I need it.

Well, a couple months ago Tiffany asked me and Liza and a couple of our other friends if we'd be game to renting a beach house in Southampton for Memorial Day weekend. My initial response was, "Ohh no, I can't afford it!" But then everyone else said they were in, and so...I did too! I haven't been to the Hamptons once in the five and a half years I've lived in New York, and I can't even remember the last time I went on a girls-only trip, so the opportunity really was too good to pass up.

Although, from what I've been hearing, Southampton is a bit more swanky than I had thought. The majority of the crowd will most likely look like this:

You know those parties that Diddy throws where everyone has to where all-white? That's what I'm envisioning. I hope we can still have fun without being in the thick of the "scene." I think we can, but if Diddy invites me to a party, I'll wear whatever the hell he wants!

And the houses look like this. Well, not our house. This is actually the living room from the movie Something's Gotta Give. How beau-TEE-ful. Maybe one day, right?

So I've given Tiffany the first half of the deposit and the rest is due next week. Thank the LORD I get paid on Friday! Now, once I actually get to the Hamptons, that's a whole different story. There's a 70 percent chance I will have to stay in every night eating ham sandwiches and drinking box wine, but at least I will be there getting my tan-on with my girlfriends!

Actually, I do have quite a few freelance checks coming in, so whether or not I get those in the next few weeks will really determine my fate for the weekend. Either way, I have to be very careful with my spending or else there will be a lot of crying and whining about not being able to pay rent. Here's to hoping we find a sugar daddy!

So yeah, I'm living it up a little. In 27 days I will no longer be a Hamptons virgin. Woo hoo! Do you ever treat yourself and spend money you don't really have? Please tell me I'm not the only one!

Photo Shoot Friday: Fancy Party, Fancy People

2010-04-30T06:30:00.000-07:00

Last night I did my first super-duper A-list reporting gig! The event was an intimate gala celebrating Chopard's 150th anniversary. (Which is a jewelry company for anyone who may not know. I didn't!) You know from this post that I've talked to a celebrity or two in my day, but never have I ever laid eyes on Gwyneth, Kate, Claire or Christina—WHAT?!

Before the event I hung out with all the paparazzo. They all seemed to know each other well and even worked together on figuring out what angles would be best to shoot. There was quite the argument about which way the wind was blowing—they take their job seriously! A few of them looked at me funny for snapping this pic, but I didn't care. I guess they're not used to being on the other side of the camera!

Out of all the A-listers there, Christina Ricci was the only one who stopped to talk to reporters. She was ridiculously nice and her waistline is about the size of my pinky finger.

I tried to ask Kate a question, but got totally SHUT DOWN by a publicist. It sucked, and I was disappointed, especially because I had envisioned us talking and laughing like old girlfriends. Silly, I know. But damn, look how gorgeous she is!

I was so focused on trying—trying being the operative word—to talk to Gwyneth Paltrow, that I didn't get a chance to snap her pic. Nor would I dare. She is the last person I'd want to piss off! Although, I will say that she was more social than anyone else and seemed very nice. And of course she was off the charts beautiful and skinny and just all-around perfect!

The gala was held at The Frick Collection. It was super-fancy, and when I wiggled my way back into the party, I instantly regretted my black jeans and blazer outfit choice. After hanging around for a while and getting denied a few times to talk to Claire Danes, I called it quits. I should have stuck around to enjoy the appetizers and bubbly, but I was feeling a little too disheartened to really enjoy it. Ohh well, at least I didn't go down without a fight!

It certainly was an experience. At the time, I wasn't freaking out about seeing these A-listers, but it's just now hitting me. I had an OMFG moment just thinking about it this morning!

Tell me: If you were at a fancy party, what fancy people would you want to see there?

The Man's Guide To Love

2010-04-29T05:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I came across a really cute website featured on Glamour.com called The Man's Guide To Love. It's basically just a collection of videos from men of all ages talking about love. Some are pretty clued in, while others are down right clueless. Here are a few of my favorites:

David, 27, "I don't really know what love is."

Yup, sounds about right. If I had to guess, I'd say a lot of people don't know what true love is at that age. Did YOU? I learned what it meant at 25, which I realize is extremely lucky because it's hard to find the real thing. David's naivety is pretty darn endearing though, isn't it?

Jay, 65, "Stay the course."

Aww, how sweet is this man?! He does look a bit like John McCain, but I'm not going to hold that against him. He is so right. Love is work, but it is so worth it.

Chuck, 26, "Be as ruthless as you can be...there's no shame in the game!"

Trickery and deceit? Damn, Chuck! Looks like someone might have had his little heart stomped on in the past. Guys don't really think like this, do they?

So tell me: What do you think of the vids? Guys: What's your take on love? And girls: What do you wish guys knew about it?

F is for FIRED

2010-04-28T08:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my boyfriend invited me to his book club meeting which is happening TONIGHT. I haven't even cracked the book open (The Stranger by Albert Camus), but he insisted that I'd be able to finish the 123 pages in time. Today is actually the first day in a couple weeks that I really don't have too much on the agenda. I mean, there's always stuff to do, but nothing very pressing.

So I suppose I could power through the book, but I hate reading in a hurry because there's a good chance I will only absorb about 50 percent of it. And you know how people in book clubs get super analytical about shit and raise obscure points that really don't have anything to do with anything. (Well, I can only assume, but I was an English major so I know what these discussions can be like.) If I glossed over even one paragraph, I'd probably be totally lost!

Plus, I'm not the fastest reader in the world, and I blame that on my kindergarten teacher. I went to a hippie school where we filled our days growing plants, picking berries from a nearby forest and learning how to make homemade ice cream. I am not kidding. I was totally fucked when I got to first grade! Those developmental years are crucial, man!

Plus, starting a new book would mean taking a break from what I'm currently reading: A is for Alibi by Sue Grafton. My bf was like, "You know that's not like a book club type book, right?" Yes, hun, I know. Don't worry, I'm not going to push my guilty pleasure off on anyone else. But I'm getting totally into this murder mystery thing, and lucky me, Sue's written an entire series! B is for Burglar, C is for Corpse...and so on. Geeze, I wish I had thought of that! F is for FIRED: The Unemployment Series. Hey, I like the sound of that!

I go through phases, but lately I've been on a reading kick. Last week I finished The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon. Verdict: Two thumbs UP. And before that was After Dark by Haruki Murakami. Verdict: Good, but not amaaazing. I guess Murakami is kind of an "it" author right now, so I basically read the book so I'd be able to chime in on conversations when his name is mentioned. (Um, is that lame?)

An.Y.way. What are you reading right now? Do you have any guilty pleasures when it comes to books? And who is your favorite author? Is is weird that I don't really have one??

On a scale of 1 to 10: How domestic are you?

2010-04-27T06:38:00.001-07:00

Ohh I'd say I'm about a four. You guys know this. I'm more inclined to tidy and stuff things under the bed than actually getting down on my hands and knees to scrub/wipe/dust something. And my idea of a yummy home-cooked meal very well might involve something out of a can. (After all, black beans make everything better.) And even though I truly do enjoy baking and entertaining, I rarely do it. Why? Because it's expensive. And my apartment is small. I'm confident I will step up my domestic game to at least a 7 when the time comes for me to be a wifey and a mommy, but for now I'm going to eat cereal and froyo for dinner without a flicker of guilt.

So yeah, you can only imagine my reaction when I got a voice message from Courtenay last night telling me she was heading to her smock making class. Smock making? Yes. Now that is some SERIOUS domestic shit, y'all. Off.the.charts. I have friends who are gardening (you know, for fun), buying houses and popping out babes, but this smock making business takes first prize. Court reasoned that making a little baby smock thingy is only about $20 compared to the $80 baby dresses sold at boutiques. Makes sense. Even still, kudos to you, girlfriend!

I don't think I would have succeeded as a 50's, 60's or even 70's housewife. I believe in taking care of your man and all that jazz, but I have limits. My mom waited on my dad hand and foot. He certainly deserved it, but his inability to make a ham sandwich or bring dirty dishes to the sink was pretty darn humorous! Bless his heart.

So tell me: How domestic are you on a scale of 1 to 10? How have things changed as you've gotten older?

Have you ever burned a bridge at work?

2010-04-27T06:30:00.000-07:00

I haven't, and I'm starting to think that might not be such a good thing. People who look out for themselves seem to be the ones who get ahead quicker. A few months after I lost my job, I got a freelance gig in the research department at a wedding magazine. I knew the work would be tedious, but with no other prospects in sight, I happily accepted it. About two weeks later, I got an email from an editor at a newspaper offering me a full-time freelance job that basically required playing matchmaker to all the singles in NYC. Hello, fun job! I was bursting with excitement until I realized, shit, I already had a job.

I tried to figure out a way to do both, but it just wasn't working out. And even though I didn't sign a contract with the first job, I just couldn't find it in myself to quit after I had already started. Is everyone thinking I'm a total idiot right now? Probably. I went from having to choose between two jobs to not even having ONE. Sweet. Will being a nice, honest person ever get me anywhere? It doesn't feel like it. But, I just don't know how to be anything or anyone other than who I am. For better or worse.

It's hard for me not to look back and wish I had made a different decision. However, I do believe in all the cliches about how everything happens for a reason, so I'm just gonna go with that. What choice do I have anyway? Plus, if I had taken the second job, I probably wouldn't be here writing to all of YOU on this very blog.

So be honest here: Do you think I made the wrong decision? Have you ever been in a similar situation? And have you ever burned a bridge at work?

The FnF Club: "I got fired from Hardee's!"

2010-04-26T07:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel like the ONLY person in the world who has been fired from a job, so I'm making it my personal mission to find as many people as possible who have also received the pink slip. Check out my hairdresser, Ron's, story below!

Ok, so I know I said in this post that I hate when people exploit their gay friends, but I just couldn't resist. Ron is so funny, and I love how he used his unemployment to help pay for beauty school. Fab, indeed! And umm, hello biceps! I think we all needed a little Monday morning eye candy ;)

Tell me: What do you think of this story? What jobs did you have as a teen? I'm sure it won't surprise you to know that my first job was at an ice cream shop! And I'd love to hear YOUR Fired to Fab story! Shoot me an email and I'll make you an honorary member of the FnF club and feature you on the blog!

New Season, New Hair Color

2010-04-25T14:55:00.000-07:00

Well I'm back in NYC, and I'd be lying if I said I was super-excited about it. It's never easy coming back to the big bad city after a nice, relaxing visit at home.

One of the highlights, literally, was getting my hair done by my friend Ron who I've been going to since high school. I never ever do anything to my hair, so I thought I'd take a walk on the wild since and get some color put in it.

Ron spotted a GRAY HAIR and plucked it from my head. I was not too happy about that.

And here's the finished product! It's not exactly a huge change, but I really liked the outcome. I've heard for years that highlights can make your hair appear thicker, and while I'm not so sure that's true in my case, I'm choosing to believe it.

Ahh, going to my hairdresser at home is just the BEST. We can catch up and laugh and I don't have to worry about someone trying to trick me into buying treatments I can't afford. Check in tomorrow for a little video I did with Ron. He's a riot—I heart him.

What about you: Do you change your hair color with the seasons? What's your hairdresser like?

Blog FAIL

2010-04-25T06:15:00.000-07:00

So yeah, after I went on and on the other day about never ever neglecting the blog or you guys again, it happened....I didn't put up a post yesterday. (Not that anyone really cared/noticed/was affected by this at all, but still.) But please know that I did try. My internet connection at home totally sucks, so I dragged my sorry, hungover, sweatpants wearing self to Starbucks. (Umm yeah, Friday night I thought it would be an awesome idea to drink six glasses of wine BEFORE going out. Smart.) Well guess what, the internet connection wasn't working there either, and since I was feeling too ill to drive to another location, I just went home and crawled into bed.

This morning I woke up early so I could go back to Starbucks and put up a post before I left for the airport. Again, the connection wasn't working, even after spending 15 minutes on the phone with AT&T. I'm feeling quite frustrated at the moment, but I guess this happened for a reason. I think the blogging gods are telling me I should be at home hanging with my mom instead of at hanging out in a coffee shop. And they are right.

Oh and have you seen this FAIL blog? It's pretty funny. I love the dude with the "Ladies love this" tattoo above his lip. Now that's just straight up sexy.

When's the last time you put forth the effort, but nothing seemed to be going your way? Ya know, like when you pack a gym bag and bring it to work, only to get to the gym later and realize you forgot your sports bra. That is the WORST! Anyway, hopefully I'll have time to blog at the airport, but if not, I'll hit ya with a post tonight!

Photo Shoot Friday: Fierce Fashion Without the Bullshit

2010-04-23T11:30:00.000-07:00

Remember this amazing presentation I went to during Fashion Week? Well, you can only imagine my excitement when one of the designers of Falls emailed lil ol' ME about their sample sale this week! Would I like to come take a sneak peek of the Spring/Summer collection? Umm, Yes, please! You know I'm pretty much incapable of playing anything cool, so I responded immediately and tried my hardest to contain my excitement. (I know I failed.)

When I got to the sale and saw that the atmosphere was intimate, I was relieved. I just don't have it in me to fight off bitches while I shop! Here are the highlights:

I love the structure of this top and the ruching on the sleeves. So cool. So chic. I want it I want it I want it!

I'm all about stripes these days, and lately I've been into ruffles too. Put the two together and this is what you get: Perfection.

Pretty prints are imperative for summer!

And here we have the uber-talented designers, Leong and Philip. When Philip exclaimed, "We don't design for tall, skinny rich girls!" I wanted to give him a big fat slobbery kiss. And even though tall skinny rich girls do wear their clothing, it was really cool to know that they get inspiration from their friends--real people--and keep different body types in mind when they design.

The guys were so cool and down-to-earth and entertained all of my generic, "So how did you get started in the industry?" type questions. At one point Leong was lost for words, so he just blurted out, "You can never have too many hats, gloves or shoes!" I later learned he was quoting Patsy from the UK television show, Absolutely Fabulous. Apparently she says this when she's being interviewed and doesn't know what else to say. I think I'll use this tactic next time someone asks me what I DO. The show sounds like a riot--maybe I can convince my bf to watch it with me instead of Peep Show. Maybe? An.Y.way. Back to the clothes!

There were some vintage pieces at the sale too. Hello amazing, sparkly, sequin caplet!

And this YSL dress was acquired by one of their model friends, Grace Kelsey. Love. (Grace has been on Project Runway! Who watched the finale last night?!)

And when Philip asked me if I wanted to pick out a gift for myself I almost passed out. Something better than FREE soup and FREE Grey Goose? Is it possible? Yes, friends, it is. This top was my favorite piece, and I was beyond thrilled when I tried it on and loved the fit, too. I think I'm going to wear it tonight, only with dressier jeans and a blazer, perhaps. Watch out, Lexington, here I come!

So tell me: Have you ever been to a sample sale? What was your experience? And what's on your must-have list this summer?!

Airport Food: Gross or yummy?

2010-04-23T06:30:00.000-07:00

Mornin'! What's going down friends? I'm just at home being laaazy and I love it! So yesterday I didn't get any Airport Style pics because Liza and I were running late for our flight and I didn't have time to stop and snap. Bummer, huh? But here I am!

I've got my usual traveling staples on—American Apparel leggings and Frye boots. The Tulle hoodie is from Goldy+Mac where I work, and my bf got me this Zara trench! I'll never be the girl who's head-to-toe glam at the airport, but at least I'm not hiding under a baseball cap with Juicy sweatpants hanging off my ass, right?

Liza and I were starving when we landed at the Cincinnati airport, but there were ZERO healthy options. Subway is usually my go-to place, but there wasn't one in the food court. I loved the greasy bigger-than-your-head slices of pizza at Sbarro when I was a teen, but I've eaten enough pizza the last few weeks to last me a lifetime, so that was out. I was pretty positive I wouldn't be able to resist the waffle fries at Chick-Fil-A, so that was a no, so I decided on McDonald's. I got one crispy chicken snack wrap with honey mustard. It wasn't the healthiest choice I could have made, but at 260 calories, it's not so bad.

A lot of health bloggers carry plastic baggies of mixed nuts, dry cereal, PB sandwiches or energy bars on them while they travel for this very reason, but I'm usually not that prepared. (I know, I know: If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.) Ohh well. A little McDonald's every once in a while never hurt anyone!

Ok, guys, I'm off to work on Photo Shoot Friday which will be up later this afternoon. Smell ya later!

Tell me: Is airport food gross or yummy to you? What's your go-to spot? Do you bring your own snacks? I packed a lot of healthy snacks one trip my bf and I took to London, but I ended up eating them all in ADDITION to lots of fried food and beer. Whoopsie!

It's all about ME

2010-04-22T12:00:00.000-07:00

Hi friends! Yes, I'm alive. I know it is so unlike me to leave you hanging all day long without an explanation as to what exactly I'm up to, but like I said the other day, things have been a little nuts lately. I'm trying to adjust to my schedule, which has been pulling me in lots of different directions lately, and it's been more challenging than I had anticipated. That's one very tough thing about working as a freelancer--even when the work is done, you're not. There's always something more I can and should be doing. It's just so hard to stop and peel my fingers off the keyboard! I never feel that I'm in a position to just take it easy because, well, my career is far from secure. Sometimes I feel like my CAREER has totally dissipated. I want/need/HAVE to get it back! I will, I will, I will!

So this morning I had a decision to make: Write a blog post or go running. I didn't have time to do both, so I chose the latter. And as much as it hurt me to leave you hanging like that, I really just needed to do something for myself. Plus, if I had skipped the run, this post very easily could have been a rant about how lazy and gross I feel, and I know how much you hate that ;) So really, everyone is a winner here.

The older I get, the more selfish I am. I'm no longer the girl who overcommits myself to things and does favors for everyone even when it's not reciprocated. I pick and choose who I spend my time with and how I spend it. I used to have such a hard time telling anyone no, but now it's a lot easier and it feels good. With that being said, even though this am was all about ME, I will *pinky* promise you now that there won't be many more times I choose a run in the park over YOU ever again.

Ohh and I totally forgot to mention that I'm home in KY right now! Umm, hello! Don't worry, I'll be posting every single day--maybe even twice a day--so definitely check back in! So tell me: Do you have a hard time being a little selfish like I used to? How important is having a "me" day every once in a while?

It all started with a Christmas Card...

2010-04-21T13:32:00.000-07:00

Whoa, look who jumped back on the two-a-day posting bandwagon! Better late than never, right? So my bf and I watched an episode of Mad Men last night (almost done with Season 3!), and at the end there was an interview with Dyna Moe, a super-quirky badass chick who has blown UP for her MM illustrations.

And it all started with this Christmas card she drew for Rich Sommer (Harry on the show.) He gave it to the cast as a present in 2007, and everyone loved it so much that Dyna was encouraged to keep drawing. And drawing. And drawing. From desktop wallpaper to calendars, she has done it all!

Apparently one of the post popular illustrations was the one of Betty shooting birds with a rifle with a cig hanging out of her mouth. I did like that episode, and it's always a joy to see Betty so out of character, but this is one of my personal faves. I flipped out the first time I saw half-dressed women riding on the guys' backs at the office, but eh, after a while you get used to it. And the characters are so on point it's crazy--I totally see why the illustrations have received so much buzz!

Don't you just love these type of succes stories? What's the best one you've heard? A friend also told me that the dude who started the Satorialist used to install cable for a living before his site blew up. Apparently he was a huge proponent of guerilla marketing and just passed out stickers like crazy. I can't say that rumor is 100 percent fact, but I'm choosing to believe it is. And Mad Men fans: What are your predictions for Season 4? I can't WAIT!

Characters at the gym: Take 2

2010-04-21T04:08:00.000-07:00

I've decided to make this a semi-regular post because people watching at the gym is pretty darn entertaining. Here are a few characters I've spotted recently:

1. Euro guy: What is it with Europeans and their workout attire? Either it's too tight, too random, too...I dunno...just wrong. The guy I noticed the other day was a Brit. (I eventually overheard him talk to a trainer, but I could tell he was English from a mile away.) He had on weird track pants that were too tight on his thighs, a short-sleeved Polo shirt (collar was not popped, thank God) and Converse-style sneaks. Oh and yes, there was gel in his hair. I saw him on a few weight machines, but I'm pretty certain not one single bead of sweat broke out on his precious little forehead. Hey, mate, hit up Footlocker and run off that beer belly next time why dontcha?!

2. And this brings me to my next character: Denim Dude. If you don't look like this hard-bodied hotness above, then you are not allowed to wear jeans to the gym, ok? The other week I saw a guy running on the treadmill who was wear jeans. JEANS! I came thisclose to trying to sneak a pic of him, but I just didn't have the heart to go through with it. But C'mon, guy. This look is not sexy. Or cool. Or even COMFORTABLE for crying out loud! I mean, that just can't be healthy for his man parts. And what about chafing? Holy cow, I'm in pain just thinking about it!

3. Kool-Aid Skinny: I see her at the gym a lot. She is ridiculously skinny and freakishly toned. The way her back muscles pop out is just not natural. From what I can tell, she does the elliptical for two hours at a time. At least. (The only reason I'm ever at the gym that long is if I do cardio before a yoga class.) She uses the same machine every single time and she always has two huge water bottles full of a mysterious red drink that looks like Kool-Aid. My guess is that it's sugar free Crystal Light, though. Something isn't right here. I think homegirl needs a little help, and I hope she gets it!

And if you missed my last gym post, check it out here. I don't know if anyone has noticed, but so far this week I haven't been posting twice a day like I usually do. Things are a bit nuts right now, but keep checking in because I will be back on track very very soon!

Tell me: What interesting characters have you spotted at the gym lately? Have you ever seen any that I mentioned?

"Where is this going?"

2010-04-20T06:25:00.000-07:00

That's what I naively asked my first college "boyfriend" after we had been "hanging out" for a couple months. Big mistake. Huge. (Did anyone else say that in a Julia Roberts/Pretty Woman voice? I hope so.) He totally wigged out and didn't talk to me for a month. And that, my friends, set the precedent for our two-year rollercoaster relationship. (Hello, red flag!) I later learned that I had opened the floodgates to having THE TALK. I had no idea it was such a big deal. Geeze.

There are so many stages to dating—I just gets exhausting. The "talking" phase is the trickiest. You like someone, they like you, you have fun together, so why is it so gosh darn hard to make that next step? Well, that's exactly how I feel about making new friends as an adult.

Gone are the days you proposition someone with a lick of your ice cream cone or just flat out ask them to be your friend. (Btw, if anyone wants to be my friend, the ol' ice cream trick will TOTALLY work.) It's frustrating because I have a lot of friends in NYC that I'm in the "talking" stage with, but I just don't know how graduate to the let's-hang-out-in-our-yoga pants-and-watch-movies-on-a-Sunday-night type of friend.

Or, am I just being greedy? I do have lots of friends here, and a few that I know will be in my life forever, but I'm still constantly searching for more people I can truly connect with. I used to be embarrassed to bring this subject up (I mean, who wants to admit they want more friends?), but I'm finding more and more that it's something lots of people want and struggle with later on in life. Take Rachel at MWFSeekingBFF for example!

So what's your advice for me readers: How do I turn casual friendships into the real thing? I know I can't just flat out ask "WHERE IS THIS GOING?!" but oh, I really want to. And where are you on the friendship-o-meter—are you happy with what ya got or do you wish you had a few more pals? Oh and does anyone have a good story about busting out the "talk" with a guy?

Ellen Collis: Private Eye

2010-04-19T09:45:00.000-07:00

Happy Monday, guys! Let's start the week off with a little celebrity dish, shall we? During my short-lived tabloid reporting career, I was sent on a few exciting assignments. At the time, they were nerve-wracking as hell, but now I look back at the memories and laugh. One time I was sent to spy on Brangelina's kids at school (yes, I know, I'm a terrible person.) I was peeking through fences and the whole nine. I didn't get a ton of juicy scoop, but one reason for that might have been the fact that I was cruising around town in a rental car brighter than Big Bird. Um, I wasn't exactly rolling around town incognito! At one point a teacher started walking towards my car and I drove off. I called my editor (not the one who fired me) to tell him, and he said,"Oh yeah, I'm sure they've got your license plate number by now!" as if it was no thang. Um, right. He was a crazy character. I'm pretty certain if I had called him from jail to tell him I had been arrested for trespassing, he would have been really excited about it.

Another time I had to drive to a random town in New Jersey to pick up divorce papers that documented infidelities of an A-list celebrity. It was my first time driving in and out of the city, and to say that I was a hot scared mess would be a major understatement. But, I pulled it together and got the job DONE. I have a little secret on how exactly I made it happen, but I'm taking that with me to the grave!

The biggest story I did was in Pennsylvania on the Gosselin family. I was in four (or was it five?) cities in just a few days digging up all the dirt I could find on Jon and Kate's mess of a marriage. And it must be mentioned that I was sent WITHOUT a GPS. Anyone who knows me is laughing hysterically right now because they know (and have possibly witnessed) that I have the worst sense of direction in the world. I printed out like 10 different directions and maps online of all the possible places I might be going. And once I actually got to PA, I found a Kinko's and printed off several more.

My adventure was pretty much like what you see in the movies. I knocked on neighbors' doors (several of which were slammed in my face), and went to bars, grocery stores, malls, restaurants, nail salons, etc. to talk to as many people as possible. I got a lot of great scoop, and quickly realized a common theme: Kate is a raging BIOTCH. I'm sure Jon has plenty of issues of his own (his horrid fashion sense being a minor one), but everyone who knew the fam had terrible things to say about Kate. Here are just a few things I learned:

1. She gets every for FREE (I suppose we all figured that). She'd even expense the smallest thing, like a Starbucks coffee. Umm yeah, I'm jealous. And from the sound of it, so was everyone in town. Why? Well...

2. According to several sources I talked to (including a former co-worker at the hospital Kate worked at), she got two fertility treatments in one day at two different hospitals. I'm not sure why, but obviously she was up to something. People are very resentful of her "fame" because it seemed to be far from an accident.

3. A neighbor told me that when the Gosselins moved into the neighborhood, she brought over a lasagna dish. THREE MONTHS later the dish was returned on the neighbor's front stoop. Without a thank you note.

4. Another neighbor complimented her fugly peacock haircut (Why? I have no idea), and Kate scrunched up her nose and gave her a nasty "Why-the-hell-are-you-speaking-to-me?!" look. I repeat, NO ONE is jealous of you, Kate!

5. On the first day of school one year, all the moms were taking pictures of their children. Naturally, Kate assumed the pics were being taken of her kids and went berserk and made a huge scene.

Umm yeah, it was an interesting experience to say the least! I kinda liked being a private eye, but I'll certainly be happy if I never have to do a job like that again. It was CRAZY! What do you think of the Gosselin fam? And Kate? And if you could spy on any celeb--who would it be?!

I am not Superwoman

2010-04-18T09:00:00.000-07:00

Although I really wish I was, and no, not just because I want her ridiculously chiseled guns. I woke up today at 7:30 so I could do a Physique57 DVD workout, a quick run and write a blog post before I had to head into work at the boutique. Well, I didn't finish my post. As much as I try to just shoot from the hip, sometimes I do need to stop and think about what I'm writing, and it just wasn't flowing today.

So no, I'm not Superwoman and I can't get everything done with a snap of my fingers. However, I did write a guest blog over at Ketchup Diaries today! I dished on some of my favorite celebrity reporting experiences. Some of it will be familiar, some of it is new. Head on over the check it outtt!

Tell me: If you could have one superhero power, what would it be?

Have YOU ever fired someone from a job?

2010-04-17T07:00:00.000-07:00

Last night, Liza and I watched Up In The Air. Well, I should rephrase that. I watched twenty minutes before I dozed off on the couch. Pathetic. But from what I could put together, George Clooney's character is hired by other companies to fire people for a living. Kind of seems like a waste of money doesn't it? If you want to give someone the pink slip, just MAN UP and do it yourself!

While I'm positive the editor who fired me did not lose a wink of sleep over it, I thought his delivery was pretty weak. He couldn't even look me in the eye as he gave me some BS excuse about my inability to "pull in the contacts they needed." (Umm, you knew from the jump that I had no prior tabloid reporting experience. Doesn't it take more than a few months to develop strong contacts? Whateves.) And even though I was both fuming and crying on the inside, I took the high road and extended my hand to end the 60-second conversation in a cordial manner. However, what I really wish I had done is this.

So tell me: Have YOU ever fired someone from a job? Was it hard to do? And if you could fire anyone, who would it be? I think I'd go with Sarah Palin. I could totally do without turning on the TV and seeing her face on it. P.S. I recently realized on a previous post that I said "you betcha!" and I almost diiied. Never again.

Photo Shoot Friday: Drinking the expensive shit for FREE

2010-04-16T07:00:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday everyone! Remember this post where I got FREE happy hour drinks? Well, I won again! At Turtle Bay, everyone's a winner. I can now no longer gripe that I never win anything because it just is not true.

Here I am with E-V-E. I was so happy—and a little surprised—she stopped by. She's one of the chillest (and the illest) people I know, but Turtle Bay isn't exactly her scene. Check out her blog to see what I mean. And I already gave you a sneak peek of my outfit last week. The skirt is by Free People—I got it from work! Oh wow, another thing I got for FREE.

I looked over and saw Eve and her girls texting like maniacs. Too funny! (From left: Sarah, Jessica and Lauren.) They're so much fun. I'm kind of wondering what it's going to take for me to wiggle my way into their inner circle. Is there a handshake? Initiation? What? I can stop listening to Top 40 music girls, I swear. (Er, at least I won't openly admit that I like it!) Jessica suggested I ask for Grey Goose so I wouldn't be drinking "cheap shit" all night, and I wasn't sure if the bartenders would give it to me, but they did. Smart thinking, Jess!

The usual suspects: Jenn and Liza

I caught the DJ doing the sprinkler. Sweet. He played some old school beats like Salt 'n' Peppa's "Shoop" and NKOTB's "Step by Step." I belted out every single word.

You know that's Lindsay with her shiny ass hair. I turned her on to vodka-waters at the last happy hour and she hasn't looked back since!

Not sure who random dude is. There were a few that night, but none really worth mentioning. I felt bad because a cocktail waitress pretty much forced a man (I say man because I'm certain he was over 40) to buy me a shot even though I said I really didn't need it. So I took the shot, said thanks and left to join my friends.

Looks like these gals were really enjoying the happy hour, too! When's the last time you danced on a table?

The FREE drinks ended at 9pm, so I rushed to the bar at 8:57 to get one more. I got DENIED by the first two bartenders I asked, but this nice guy served me right up.

Yes, I do occasionally feature soft porn on the blog. Who wishes they were that chicken finger right now? I kinda do ;)

Umm yeah, I definitely didn't need that last drink. Things got a little messy at the end there, but at least I was home in bed by 10:30!

When's the last time you got to drink for FREE? And are you a gulp-and-leave kind of girl when a guy buys you a drink, or do you stick around to chat? What's everyone up to this weekend? I'll mostly be working, and hopefully sleeping. I've been so tired this week!

Confessions of a Broke-Ass Blogger

2010-04-15T13:30:00.000-07:00

Remember the time I had a salad-gasm? Well, I had another one today, only this time it didn't come with a FREE soup. Damn. What made it so special you ask? I've eaten a cheese slice for either lunch or dinner for the last FOUR days. Eww. Grossss. My body was really craving veggies, and since I got a paycheck in the mail today, I decided to treat myself to a trip to Hale and Hearty Soup. That place is my JAM!

It was a whopping $8, but I just needed it, y'all. (For the record, I do not even know why I say "y'all" so much. I am not that Southern. For realsy reals. I kind of say it in a Britney Spears voice in my head, if you can picture what that sounds like?) My salad contained: Romaine lettuce, walnuts, egg whites, cucumber, chicken, peppers, onion, corn, carrots, tomatoes and a drizzle of Balsamic. Dangit, I forgot the apples! Regardless, it was de-lish.

I hate that I resorted to eating so much pizza in my time of desperation, but I seriously do not know how to eat healthy on the super-cheap. It seems so HARD. I always end up cooking the same three things and eating them over and over, which ends up just totally yucking me out on everything. So then pizza it is. And my friends at my neighborhood spot are so gosh darn nice. I can pay for a slice all in coins and they don't even flinch. I feel so pathetic, but their warm smiles reassure me that I'm not the first person who has done it!

And this is going to be my dinner tonight with a sweet potato and black beans on the side. Frozen veggies, I know—not the best choice ever, but it was only $1.60 and I really LIKE this mix. (With a little Olive Oil, of course.) If I were a food blogger, I'd probably be sent straight to food blogging prison, but, Phew, I'm not.

Why hello there! (I just said that in an English accent, fyi.) This is my standard uniform on days I am at home. Technically my weekend is almost over because Wednesday and Thursday are my only non-working days this week. Tomorrow I'm back at Women's Health, Saturday I'm doing my reporting thang for Glamour all day and Sunday I'm at the boutique. Hooray for money coming in!

OK, so I have one more teensy confession to make. Yesterday I stopped into The Lite Choice on W. 72nd Street for a small cup of Cookies 'n' Cream because I had a FREE coupon. (And, um, because I love it.) Upon wolfing it down, I went into Subway to get a small bag of Baked Lays. That was lunch. Double-eww. But yes, I was THAT broke.

I'm totally outing myself right now because I'm forever complaining to my bf that the scale just won't budge even though I've totally cut down on sweets. Umm yeah...and he bought a bigger-than-my-head chocolate chip cookie at our favorite coffee shop after dinner yesterday, too! SCREW YOU BIKINI SEASON!

Ok, now this has got to be the longest nonsense I have written in a while. Sorry 'bout that. But before I sign off, I want to give a shout out to a few of my favorite fitness/food bloggers that inspire me every single day. (Even if I'm not following their lead!) Heya Kelly, Megan and Caitlin! Ohh and I just found this one, too. I entered the Barney Butter giveaway contest—fingers crossed I win! I'm such a sucker for FREE FOOD.

Ok, I'm finally saying adios. Tell me: Do you have any food confessions to get out in the open? C'mon, I don't want to be the only one! And what's your go-to food when you're low on funds?

Online Dating

2010-04-15T05:30:00.000-07:00

Have you done it? Are you currently doing it? Would you admit it if you were? I have a boyfriend, so it's easy for me to say Ohh, no, that's something I'd never do, but the truth is, I'd probably give online dating a try if I was single. I mean, hello, remember the NYC tools I mentioned in this post? It's hard to meet people in this city (or anywhere for that matter) that you truly click with, so why not?

Yesterday I met Laurie, the founder of eFlirtexpert.com for coffee. (Remember these FnF stickers I was putting in bathrooms all over NYC? That's how she found me!) Basically, eFlirt consults people in their online dating ventures, (everything from how to write your profile bio to finding the right person for you) and helps them navigate their way around a seemingly overwhelming world on the web. The company has been getting tons of media buzz recently, and that's because people need HELP.

I asked Laurie a million questions, but one of the most interesting things she told me is that choosing the right dating site for YOU is crucial. (I had no idea it mattered--did you?) Although there are literally hundreds and each vary from city to city, she gave me a few examples for NYC:

Okcupid.com: This is a more creative, edgy crowd. You might find a VH1 producer, a broadway babe or a zen accupuncturist surfing the site. Some of these singles are looking for relationships and others want to casually date.

Match.com: Has a mix of people from those who want a committed relationship to the just-want-to-have-fun singles. You'll find a more business-minded crowd here: finance executives, entrepreneurs, sales professionals and marketing coordinators.

Chemistry.com and eHarmony.com: Are less about a specific lifestyle or personality and more about singles seeking a serious commitment. You need to be a patient dater since your matches are given to you (no searching allowed), and your communication patterns are more lengthy.

Well, you're in luck single ladies and gents! Laurie has offered any FnF reader a FREE analysis on how to get started with this whole online dating thang. Just shoot me an email and I'll put you in touch with her! And please, don't be shy. I won't judge. AND every Wednesday Laurie gives FREE flirting advice at a random bar in Manhattan. Follow her on Twitter @eFlirtexpert for the locations each week!

So tell me: What are your thoughts about online dating? Does anyone have any stories to share?! SPILL.IT.

Banana Facial FAIL

2010-04-14T10:00:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! Totally forgot to announce the winner of the Crazy Busy Beautiful book yesterday. I did Eeny meeny miny moe (Ok, now that looks weird as hell, but it's the spelling I got from Wikipedia) and landed on Elizabeth! Her comment was:

1. Black liquid eyeliner-I can wear any time, any situation, for a classy, timeless look.
2. Finding a foundation that matches my fair skin tone! I have to buy expensive just to find a shade that doesn't make it look like I'm wearing a mask. I'm proud of my fair skin but for a poor college student, it presents quite the dilemma.
3. The all-natural Jojoba oil (don't even quite know what it is anyway) at Trader Joe's doesn't make my hair healthy and shiny, it makes in look like I don't own a shower! First day I tried it, I didn't have time to wash it out before going to class :S

Shoot me an email with your address, girl! And I'd love it so much if you took a pic with the book. Maybe somewhere on campus? It's always me me ME on the blog—I want to see some of YOU for a change!

So last night I decided to do the banana facial the book suggested. I didn't go over the instructions again (stupid stupid) because I was so sure I had it down. Mash up a banana, spread it on your face. Easy. So I put this on my forehead. After about 30 seconds it started sliding down my face. Ewww. I kept pushing it back up, only for it to slide back down again. Then I finally turned to the book to see what went wrong: Mash up a really ripe banana. Oopsie! No wonder it was impossible to spread all over my face.

It was an epic FAIL. However, I must say, when I wiped the banana off my face did feel refreshed and smooth. Seriously.

My friends in college were amazed at how poorly I took care of my skin. I went to the tanning bed a lot (gross), didn't wear moisturizer and went to sleep with makeup on more times than I'd like to admit. But over the last five years or so, I've changed all of that. I'm more aware of wrinkles now than ever, and since I really don't know if I will ever be game for Botox (never say never though), I've got to do all I can to keep those fine lines at bay. Face cleansers and moisturizers are very much a part of my routine now, and I'm constantly chugging water like a maniac.

Tell me: What's your skin care routine? How has it changed over the years?

A Typical Manhattan Morning

2010-04-14T06:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Liza and I left the apartment at the same time to go to work. She was off to her career-job and I was headed to Brooklyn for my job-job, but I was just happy to be going SOMEWHERE. We were chatting and as I was blabbing away, I noticed she was answering all my questions with "Uh huh..yeah." And then I looked over to see her typing away on her Blackberry! Figures. Everyone has a Blackberry. Except me. I told myself I wouldn't get one until 1. I could afford it. 2. I truly needed it. There are times when I'm away from my computer for more than an hour that I start to get really antsy about not being able to check my email, but I'm not at the can't-live-without-it point yet.

And how cute is Liza?! I ran ahead of her so I could catch her in the moment. She didn't realize what was happening until after I snapped the pic—too late! And in case anyone's wondering, she's wearing:

Jacket: Marc by Marc Jacobs

Jeans: Sevens

Bag: Marc by Marc Jacobs

Belt: From our mom's closet

Ankle booties: Miu Miu (Sad you can't see them)

And then I popped into Starbucks and we parted ways. I know I need to kick my caffeine habit, but I allow myself to have it every time I'm going to work in the morning because it makes me so gosh darn happy. Sadly though, I've recently had to ditch my beloved lattes for just regular coffee because it's half the price. Sad, indeed.

And when I hopped onto the subway, I saw this cool cat:

That is some subway SWAGGER, y'all! Lean with it, rock with it. Too bad that chick had to interrupt the performance just as I was getting into it. And don't you love how no one else seems to be phased by this? Yup, just a typical morning in NYC!

Tell me: What are your mornings usually like? Do you ever run into any interesting characters? Does the coffee/bagel/muffin guy know you by name?

Working smart vs. Working hard

2010-04-13T11:33:00.000-07:00

I struggle with this. I am a workhorse. I love to work. Work, work, work. Go in early, stay late, sacrifice sleep--and sanity--to get the job DONE. But, more times than not, I know I'm not necessarily working smart, in which case clocking in the hours doesn't really mean shit.

It's just hard because I'm juggling so many different balls at once--the endless job search, my blog, a PT job (which some weeks has FT hours), freelance gigs, networking, etc. Sometimes I just want to tackle the tasks that are easy or give me instant satisfaction first. I mean, is there actually a human being who likes writing cover letters? Or has mastered it? If so, teach me the ways almighty one!

Liza's really good at prioritizing and working efficiently and hard without going overboard. I'm attempting to take a cue from her. For instance, the other week I was approached for a freelance gig for a magazine I would LOVE to work for. (And have interviewed with, a few times, and come thisclose to landing a job at.) The phone interview was super casual, and as soon as I hung up, I went into Ellen-mode trying to brainstorm a special project I could do over the weekend to make myself stand out from the rest of the candidates. And then the strangest thing happened. I didn't have ONE good idea. Not one. What the heck? How can this happen to a self-professed "ideas person"? (Well, I can't disclose what the subject matter was, but that actually does partially explain my brain freeze.)

To make a short story shorter, I didn't turn in a project at all. I kept revisiting it throughout the weekend, but nothing was clicking, and I had other work that needed to be done. I didn't get the job (obvi cuz you guys would have been the FIRST ones to know about it!), but I didn't regret not going the extra mile this time. Sometimes doing work just for the sake of it is not the way to go. At least not to me. Plus, I got other things accomplished that weekend, one of which included SLEEP. Ha!

What about your thoughts about working hard vs. working smart? Do you struggle with this?

Word of the day: POSITIVITY

2010-04-13T06:25:00.000-07:00

So I made this video yesterday am, but after reading more of your comments on the Obnoxious Bloggers post, I wasn't sure if I should. When I'm being "bitchy" it gets noticed. And people talk. And I like that. (Even if I was crying on the inside—and well, the outside too—on Sunday night!) So does anyone want to see nice Ellen? Is that boring? If I admit that my feelings were deeply hurt by comments, am I surrendering? Have I lost the battle? Well, I don't care. I don't calculate or manipulate my words—99 percent of the time I'm simply thinking out loud. So here I am, for better or worse.

Before I made the vid, I repeated "I don't give a fuck what a hater's gotta say" to myself over and over in my best Rick Ross voice, but I guess I'm just not gangster like that. I do care. But I got it out and now it's over. Let's move on and be friends. Shall we?

Ohh and can we just discuss that I said the word, um, like. And that my facial expressions could use some serious help? And that I repeated myself on more than one occasion in three minutes? Whatever you were thinking while you watched, I probably was, too. Ohh well!

So yes, the word of the day is POSITIVITY. Without a positive attitude, I would most certainly be curled up in a ditch somewhere. Some of you have written me and said that even when I'm being negative, I'm positive, which I think is pretty cool.

Do you have a positive attitude? When's the last time you had to push negativity out of your life? And which Ellen do you like better—nice or bitchy? Haha!

Things That Should Be Illegal: Take 2

2010-04-12T07:00:00.000-07:00

Ranting, list-making, let's do THIS! Things that should be illegal:

1. Rapping on the subway. "You're all up in my face, such a disgrace, I ain't got this kinda time to WASTE. Yeah...Uh..." You are not Eminem. Or Jigga, or Weezy or Rick or 50. And flow that rhymes? It's wiggity wiggity WHACK, yo!

2. Not picking up your dog's shit. Oh wait, that IS illegal. (Um, right?) Hey guy in 5D, you owe New York City about $5,000. And since my tennis shoes have your pooch's poo all over them, I'll take a new pair of New Balances sneaks. Size 7.5, pleaze.

3. Coming into a clothing store 60 seconds before closing. And browsing like you have no idea what time it is. Chick, it's 7:59 on a Monday night. Is it necessary to make a mess of all the jeans/scarves/T-shirts I just neatly folded? This seriously should be illegal. I will personally handcuff the next person who does this to me.

4. WHAT HAPPENED?! Ok, so if you don't live in New York or New Jersey, you might not know what I'm talking about. Lucky you. There are actually people who say "What happened?" or, more times than not, "Wha happenin'?" when they didn't hear something you said. So instead of saying, "Pardon?" or "Come again?" or "What did you say?" it's WHAT HAPPENED?

5. Waiting more than four minutes in line at Starbucks. Repeat after me: Grande.skim.latte. Grandeskimlatte, Grandeskimlatte—same drink, different day. Get it right and make it speedy.

6. Snooki. I said it once, and upon seeing this pic, I just had to say it again. Head to toe, that shit should be illegal.

7. Calling something "little guy." Like, when you're not referring to a boy under the age of ten. Necklaces are not little guys. Neither are muffins.

8. Kim Kardashian's ass. But that's only because I'm jealous.

9. Calling someone you've known less than a month by their nickname. This drives me NUTS. I take nicknames seriously. You should be supa dupa close to someone before you go calling them a name their childhood besties gave them. It was at least six months before I was comfortable enough to call one of my best guy friends from high school by his. (Hi, Bull!)

10. Umm, I dunno. I'm all outta juice. You tell me. What else should be illegal? If you missed my first TTSBI post, peep it here!

Obnoxious bloggers—Don't let this be YOU!

2010-04-11T08:30:00.000-07:00

I started my blog initially as yes, a HOBBY. After I got fired, I needed an outlet and way to stay in the game—to keep my skills sharp and let my voice be heard. Plus, what the hell else did I have going on? Nada. It gave me a sense of purpose and a routine to my day. I needed that.

Now, almost nine months later, I'd be lying if I said I didn't want something more to come from my labor of love. (Any blogger who says otherwise is a damn LIAR.) I work hard at this and it's time consuming as hell. I'm not talking about blowing up Perez Hilton style, but some kind of recognition or small profit or something would be nice. I'd like to think that this blog could somehow help me land my next job. An.y.way.

Even so, I will not be a sell my soul for this blog. I will not be obnoxious (Even if I do update my status too frequently on Facebook—sorry guys!). I will NOT be that blogger. What exactly am I talking about? Well, the other day I found a blog I liked and commented on one of the posts and included a link to FnF. (Some people do actually consider that to be obnoxious, but whateves.) Soon after, I got an email from the blogger saying this:

"I'm following your blog - I'd be grateful if you wouldn't mind following back. Numbers, numbers, numbers! In my crazy little mind I think this may help me get an agent."

I was amazed at how this dude had like over 1,000 followers after blogging just a few months (I always get disheartened when I see someone else's blog doing so much better than mine), but now I know why. He is pimping his shit OUT. Numbers, numbers, numbers! An agent? Wow, that's ballsy. And it's actually kind of ballsy for me to write about this. If I see my followers decrease by one today, I will know why.

Maybe I don't put myself out there enough, which could keep me from achieving anything with this blog. And that's fine—at least I'll know I kept it 100 the whole way through. Coincidentally, Perez got fired from the SAME magazine I did, and I heard he was a fucking snake. If being a cutting asshole who draws penises on people's faces is the only way to be successful these days, then I don't want any part of it.

What about you: Have you seen bloggers be totally and utterly obnoxious? Do you have any blogging pet peeves?

When's the last time you felt really good about the way you looked?

2010-04-10T14:25:00.000-07:00

Heya! Sorry for the late post. I went out last night, slept until 11, hit up the gym and now here I am on the couch watching Precious and munching on kettle corn with Liza. I'm proud of myself for not letting a pounding headache keep me in bed all day, but I'm feeling quite lazy at the moment. This pic should give you a pretty good idea of how I felt when I woke up this am.

I have no idea what I'm doing or why my wallet is in my lap. And the plate of chicken fingers next to me? Didn't touch 'em. Yessss. Believe dat. An.Y.way. I know I'm always so self-deprecating on the blog and that it annoys the shit out of some of you, so today I'm going to give myself a pat on the back.

I felt really good about the way I looked last night. There, I said it. I liked my outfit and *gasp* even my hair. I felt comfortable in my own skin and wasn't looking around the bar wishing I was wearing what she had on. And usually I'm the one giving out compliments, but this time, I was on the receiving end. It was a nice feeling. A guy even told me I looked like Lea Michele from Glee. I can't say I love the girl, but who doesn't love being compared to a celebrity?

So go on, brag about yourself: When's the last time you felt this way? What made you feel special?

Crazy Busy Beautiful

2010-04-09T11:20:00.000-07:00

You know Carmindy, makeup extraordinaire from What Not to Wear? Of course you do. Well the other week my friend Nancy invited me to the launch party for her new book, Crazy Busy Beautiful at Norwood.

I've flipped through most of the book already, and found SO many great makeup tips. Lord knows I need them! No matter what type of woman you are—the glamazon, the girl-on-the-go, the moneysaver—Carmindy's got you covered. She even tapped real women for beauty budget advice. I will now be replacing my eye makeup remover with Vaseline and putting smashed bananas on my face for moisturizer. Hey, if Carmindy says to do something, you DO IT!

She was swarmed by groups of people at all times, but I snuck in for a quick pic. I look like a troll next to beautiful Carmindy in her Zac Posen dress! Oh, and she was so nice, too. Sweet, stunning and successful? Bitch! (Car, I'm totes kidding. Umm...kinda?)

And guess what, I am giving a copy of the book to one of YOU! For a chance to win, tell me the following in the comments section:

1. The beauty item you can't live without

2. Your biggest makeup dilemma

3. The weirdest beauty regime you've ever tried (Oatmeal masks, anyone?)

I'll choose a winner Monday night! Even if you don't win, go here for great makeup tips from Miz Carmindy herself! Hope everyone has a FAB weekend! Any fun plans in store?

"I'm right on top of that, Rose!"

2010-04-09T06:30:00.000-07:00

Please, someone tell me they know where that movie quote is from. Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead! Only one of the best 90's movies EVER.

Sorry I've been referencing movies so much recently, but you know how much I love them. Plus, babysitting is very much a part of my life right now. Sadly, I'm not doing Photo Shoot Friday today because this week it's been all about picking up extra shifts at the boutique, being a fashion closet biotch (again) and babysitting. Not too fabulous, eh? Plus, per your advice, PSF is not something that should be forced, right? However, I'm going to this very same happy hour tonight, so I'm sure I'll have plenty of fun pics to share next week! FREE drinks, WHAT?!

"I'm right on top of that, Rose!" I used to think that was so funny. And Christina Applegate's work attire? Kind of awesome. So profesh. God, I love the 90's!

Hello, shoulder pads! (Guess what—they're baaack!) I also loved the part when she served up breakfast by pouring Captain Crunch into a ginormous bowl. That would have been my heaven as a kid...or, um, an adult. I love cereal *almost* as much as movies and pizza. And ice cream.

Last night I babysat for this girl, and the mom told me to eat whatever I could find for dinner. I saw a a big box of Honey Smacks that was tempting, but I decided to have something a little more substantial. I made my own pesto and cheese pizza with carrots and blueberries on the side (I had already eaten some before I snapped the pic). Kinda random, but good. Eating other people's groceries is so much fun!

So tell me: What's your favorite babysitting movie? And have you ever raided the fridge on the job? Hey, that's just what babysitters DO. I spotted some vanilla ice cream in the freezer, but I resisted. Who's proud of me?!